Provided you-- yes, you Big Guy-- act fast.
From: Ron InsanaSent: Thu Jun 25 17:52:00 2009
Subject: First Time Ever: Invest with Me Now
Dear Investor,I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Ron Insana -- perhaps you recognize me from CNBC, where I was a senior analyst for many years.
I'm writing today to let you know about a brand new product I've developed with TheStreet.com. It's called Market Movers by Ron Insana and it has only one purpose: to help you make more money in the markets.
Let me be direct: I have never offered a service like this before. And to thank you for becoming a charter member, I would like to offer you a special personal rate to see exactly how my service will help you become a better investor.
I've been analyzing the markets for more than 25 years, and I've developed sophisticated approaches to managing your portfolio, especially in these volatile times. It's dangerous to trade alone, but I know a better way. For the first time ever, I'm going to help you outsmart the markets right alongside me.My goal is simple: I want to provide you with practical advice on how to find the smartest upside opportunities -- and still protect what you own. With Market Movers, you'll get investment knowledge -- and actionable ideas -- that few analysts can match.
With my new service you can actually see every trade I make and understand exactly why.
Plus, if you join me now, you'll get a $300 discount AND TheStreet.com's brand new e-book 7 Stocks to Buy Now - that's a $199 value absolutely free when you start Market Movers today.
And here's one more bonus: When you try my service, I'll send you a complimentary copy of TheStreet.com's brand new e-book, 7 Stocks to Buy Now. You'll get stock picks from the best minds on Wall Street -- including Jim Cramer, Doug Kass, Rick Bensignor and more - free when you join me at Market Movers today.
Join me today and find out how to make "The Message of the Market" work for you!
Sincerely,Ron Insana
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:28PM
Gee....Now I wish I hadn't already signed on with Bo Collins.....
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:29PM
What's next? Ron Insana doing Dean Graziosi style infomercials?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:32PM
No Lenny.D in that list. That's a deal-killer for me.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:32PM
I'm so ashamed to know this guy.
-stevie
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:33PM
sign me up!
--sc
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:34PM
"perhaps you recognize me from CNBC"
more like I recognize you from the days you used to dance (topless) for me.
--the big guy
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:39PM
Geez, NO WAY!!!!
ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH "Mad MOney" Jim CRAMER IS BOUND TO FAIL!!!!
Yes, TheStreet.com is owned by Cramer. A Nasdaq listed that lost over $25 million!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:42PM
He used to own a hedge fund company but for some reason he abandoned it. I bet it went bankruft!
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 25, 2009 6:48PM
He could try proofreading. Or maybe he really, really wants you to know (twice) that you're getting that amazing ebook.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:07PM
shouldn't it read: "i've never had to do anything like this before" lol
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:13PM
"Senior Analyst" - i lol'ed
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:17PM
Bo Collins is filing the Reservoir with red ink
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:39PM
No, I'm not that guy from Seinfeld. He was an actor.
I'm a financial commentator. Big difference.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:43PM
Ron Insana's ideas are INSANE!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 8:02PM
this is too pathetic to be real
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 8:02PM
I bid $1, Bob
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 8:12PM
All in all, this might be another 'green shoot'. CNBC hacks are back to their old ways, more concrete forms of self-promotion. @8, As far as his old fund, Insana Capital Partners, lets just say it was DOA (as this will probably be as well). I wonder when Maria will come out with her own set of investment strategies (e.g.- remembering to cup the balls and ALWAYS swallow!!!). I wonder if he'd consider additional partnerships through Trump University or with the Welch School of Business.
Posted by gatzzb , Jun 25, 2009 8:17PM
I'm still not sure if this is a joke. This should be a joke.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 8:38PM
I'm sure he's a good guy, but:
Failed anchor, failed hedgie (faux hedgie, hedgie front, hedgie wedgie, whatever, him going over was notably toppy) failed regurgitated CNBC consultant, etc. ...
Pathetic is right on. Groveling. Please, don't make me look any more.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 8:53PM
I read this in Troy McClure's voice
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 9:14PM
@17: Maria B could compete with a book called "I Know Where to Put It", a compilation of answers from her career-making question: where would you put your money (and every variation thereof)? It would surely appeal to the same demographic of retard.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 9:20PM
Does it come with a free set of Sham-Wows?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:18PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYSFPWJFceQ&feature=fvw
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:31PM
Ron Insana is full of shit, and so are the rest of those so called defenders of the "free markets" at CNBC. Just don't pick on Bernanke because he and the all knowing and benevelent Fed saved us from ourselves. We are helpless little sheep and we must have our asses wiped for us by the Govt because they ALWAYS have our best interests at heart. Don't believe me, just ask Steve LIESman he'll tell you all about the special powers possesed by the Almighty - I mean the Fed. The Fed can fix anything, and they're especially adept at fixing their own fuck-ups, like this current little mess we're in. It's called job security. Fuck shit up, blame everyone else, and then come to the rescue on your high horse. These guys bask in their own perceived glory. In other words, they like to smell their own farts. But don't worry because people like those assclowns at CNBC would have everyone believe that whatever the Fed, or Treasury does is good and just. They'll do it by any means necessary - just ask poor Ken Lewis - a dumbass in his own right who shouldn't be running a scout troop let alone a fucking bank. Yet, I watch tv today, and see these CNBC pricks (and cunts) defend Bernenke, Paulson and what went on at Merrill and BAC makes me want to kick my tv over ala Travis Bickle. I miss George Carlin, he had all these fucks pegged. They are all full of shit!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:34PM
on a scale of 1-10, how embarrassed do you think reading this would make Stevie?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:57PM
DANGEROUS COMBINATION:
Cramer and Insana.
Remember, they used to be hedge funds owners BUT dropped them when the market turned sour.So, you don't really know their managerial skills during challenging times.
TheStreet.com of Cramer reportedly suffered major losses (several millions) during this economic downturn.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 11:45PM
Sometimes when I am in the frozen food aisle, trying to decide which flavor of Ben and Jerry's to buy, I wonder if maybe I should take that $3.99 and give it to Ron Insana to make me wealthy. But I end up getting the ice cream, and cry at night at inability to better myself.
F
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 11:50PM
@25 a kajillion
--stevie
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 1:15AM
Ron looks like the Goonie they kept in the basement.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 1:29AM
what happened with him and SAC?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:01AM
@27- FTW!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:54AM
What the hell happened to his head? Is he undergoing chemo?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 6:02AM
I don't know who feels worse reading his promotion piece him or me? What a long hard fall this recession has been for Ron.
Very sad.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 6:04AM
I don't know who feels worse reading his promotion piece him or me? What a long hard fall this recession has been for Ron.
Very sad.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 6:22AM
"I'm not really an expert but I play one on TV"
-RI
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 6:27AM
@32- it's a photoshop that combined a pic of Ron and this one: http://img.timeinc.net/time/time100/2007/images/steven_cohen.jpg
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 7:05AM
@36-gracias.
That may have been the insideriest joke ever exposed on DB.
Molte Bene!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 7:08AM
@37- that's why db rules. you can't get images like that on other sites.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:14AM
What a terrible fall, he has to do this?? I thought he'd be able to get a gig on CNBC or Fox Business or something like that.
Frankly not enough discussion is made of people >50 on Wall Street, what do they do? The firms always want cheap, young talent and cast the older, wiser aside.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:17AM
Can't Steve Cohen, his old boss, just give him some money and spare us the second hand embarrassment?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:17AM
@39-You're calling Insans wiser? Really?
That's a bit like calling Cramer a genius.
Wow.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:33AM
I work a Citi, this looks great.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:47AM
@42, I agree, this is a real money maker.
-Bernie Madoff
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 10:04AM
I would jump at this offer if the newletter was written by the more trustwothy and sage toupee-wearing Ron Insana. Since it is coming from the bald Ron Insana I will have to pass.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 10:41AM
sold.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 11:40AM
"brand new e-book, 7 Stocks to Buy Now."
Does anyone else have problems with the idea that a book about 7 stocks to Buy Now probably is outdated when its sixth or seventh copy is distributed?
Offer price: $199. Bid: What, maybe $0.49, as an historic artifact?
Makes OTC FX seem like a tight market.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 11:59AM
"brand new e-book, 7 Stocks to Buy Now."
Does anyone else have problems with the idea that a book about 7 stocks to Buy Now probably is outdated when its sixth or seventh copy is distributed?
Offer price: $199. Bid: What, maybe $0.49, as an historic artifact?
Makes OTC FX seem like a tight market.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 1:57PM
Yeah. After he got shitcanned by Stevie. What a clown he was sending all those embarassing emails
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 2:14PM
Jim Cramer- among the best minds on the street? yes, if we're talking stock touts and out-and-out con men
Posted by InfiniteGuest , Jun 26, 2009 3:56PM
@Bess do you have anything on that "other favorite SAC alum" today?
thx
Posted by guest , Jun 27, 2009 11:32AM
There's always American Express ads and Dancing With the Stars. I mean as fallbacks.
j'adoube
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 7:01PM
Remember if any of these investment advisers were any good they'd be making money themselves (and outsmarting the market, as Ron says) instead of wasting time with you.