In case you missed it, the NYSE’s summer interns rang the opening bell today. Adorable, etc, etc, etc, and a good excuse for us to talk fresh meat. What’s the deal with everyone’s child laborers this year? If you’re working at a government-owned entity, were they offered the gig at a significantly reduced rate? Are they getting actual work to do what with most of the actual employees having been fired? Would you say they’re exuding less cockiness on account of “the economy” or more, since they know you no longer have a BSD with which to slap them into submission? Verbal abuse/looks/freebies– what’s changed? Is management more or less likely to be okay with MD/intern “relationships”? Let’s get into this.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Lesson 1: Greed is good… unless it blows up in your face and you need a bailout
Do not hire any of these idiots. I have it on good authority that they all belong to a cult that pounds sheep everyday at dawn.
you have been warned
Bess, I would be fine if you went “meredith whitney on this bitch” and started up your own business blog. Greg sucks and it would be more lucrative for you. Lock it up.
@3… will be interesting to see just how successful Whitney is on her own… why pay for her research? You already know what she’s going to say. With respect to you comparing Bess to Whitney… I’d like to throw some hot coffee on your face, you prick!
my group never had an intern before, but instead of filling a vacant position with a full time employee we got one!
I hear the one that draws the short straw has to change Mark Haines’ bed pan…
@5, thanks for the value added comment.
I’m pounding more interns in the ass than I did last year.
@4
nice to know that bess has such a following among the fags
@9- it’s a reference to the HBS incident. Try and keep up.
You know what I like about interns… I keep getting older, they keep staying the same age.
@4. thanks, bess’s boss.
Intern party at the moon tower
the interns at JPM are much more busted this year.
@11 that’s what I like about them too. that and their slappable asses.
I want to see a picture of the interns at Dealbreaker.
the blonde looks doable.
@10
tray to use refeences that make sense. yes some prof at hbs threw some coffee in some random event but what does it have to do with nyse interns?
our interns put up less of a fight during hormone injection hour this year.
-SAC employee
surely a listing and then find them on facebook. it’d be like a mass stalking
@18– um, you described the comment @4, which didn’t have anything to do with nyse interns as faggy.
“surely a listing and then find them on facebook. it’d be like a mass stalking”
great idea…who will start?
@18 – So you are from Texas then?
We got some mba intern that talks and acts like Jeff Spicoli. Probably even dumber. Everyone loves him, of course.
@21 don’t waste your time with 18… clearly an idiot
I am a 44 year old intern. Is that, like, normal? My bosses keep telling me so and they are younger than me.
~Duke MBA grad
@24- you should drown him in a urinal.
the interns at SAC have bigger vaginas this year.
@24… get Spicoli to facebook them, pronto
Interns at Jefferies all bleach their anus.
The interns here are putting up less of a protest when it comes to DVDA than in the past.
@24, I know that dude
Again, the middle school counselors in HR have hijacked the hiring process to conform to the quota system. Sad if/when they realize why they were actually hired. Slow Burn. Global Beads.
@28 how big?
@34 jumbo tampon big
–28
@25 – suck my balls.
- 9,18
@33….Jeff Macke: Is that you???
@9/18/36… who were you accusing of being a ‘fag’?
@30 Shouldn’t the word be different if it’s anus in the plural? Like “ani”?
That brunette looks delicious and by delicious I mean morbidly obese but in a good way.
the kar people
Anus Ani Anum
semper fi, bitches!
My employer has offered me an internship this summer. I’m thinking about it.
@38 – its just that they’re still sore from banging your mother.
why are all the nyse interns fatties?
@43– that’s a good one, dude! almost spit my warm beverage all over your mom’s hairy back
If Greg was my intern I would make him repeatedly throw hot coffee on his face.
Interns in Texas are huge!
Is it prestigious for a man to get beat up by a woman in front of all his coworkers?
Just asking for a friend who wants to know.
My secretary’s ass is going to have a lonely summer with all of these interns running around.
@48- not at all.
-ken griffin
The next intern I see is getting jizz slapped in the face.
Depends on the woman. There’s no shame in being worked over by the likes of Meredith Whitney.
Were there originally ten interns and they ate one of them?
I think the roofies I put in the intern’s coffee are wearing off.
The guy on the left looks like Sean Hannity. I would do the other two though.
We had an intern quote “The BOHICA Pattern” one morning in a “around the trade room” discussion. The prop guys set her up for it and she couldn’t figure out why we were all smiling when she said it.
Make that on the right for the Sean Hannity guy.
@45
your “warm beverage” is my manjuice you little bitch
slow day at db
58, FTW!!!!!
@64 – That is one of the most obnoxious comments I have ever seen on DB.
@59 great comment /sarcasm
@56, guess she doesn’t listen to jim rome
bess where were YOU an intern
so whats happening?
TGFD
@62 just give up
I make all of my interns grab their ankles and walk backwards until they make friends.
@54, why do they call em roofies? You don’t wind up on the roof. Oughta call em floories…or rape-ies.
How do I know if I have been ‘jizzslapped’?
susan collins sounds like she’s going to cry.
@68 – that movie was awesome
Who are you people?
@64: I like puppies
@64- she’s mentioned it before. pay better attention.
@68 Nice. One of the best movies out in a long time.
@68″ or dick-in-assies
24, and 56 thanks for coming up with something funny to say
@70
Go away.
@56 is she hot?
I wish you all would stop badmouthing Greg, calling him ANUS and saying that he is a cuckold.
“how about that ride in? I guess thats why they call it sin city..ha ha ha”
Bess…let us join your wolfpack.
See, you’re what happens when you’re trying to talk to intern people at like a half an hour ago. I dismissed these people as idiots years ago. And now that I’m trying to finally engage them, they have no idea what I’m talking about.
I dismissed NYSE interns as lunatics about eight months ago, and I seemed to understand the world then. But now either lunatics are in the game. I don’t know where they’re playing. I’ve tried for the last three hours to communicate with NYSE interns on TV, because apparently either I’ve gotten off the bus in Crazytown, but I’m much happier just trying to get them to speak to me in five words or less.
macke@83 well done
becky fan@82 what?
TGFD saw 9 interns and one gray-haired tool in the back.
WhoTF is he? Barney Frank?(for the lads) or Delaware’s own, Joe Biden?(for the chicks).
TGFD couldn’t tell which one. The F’n screen’s too small.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Do those 9 f’n interns get paid or what? Are they selected because of their parents’ connections or what? WoTF knows?
First, the interns go ass to ass. Then we can get down to business.
Guest@#83…
Don’t feel bad. TGFD can’t communicate very well with young people either.
In the past, I’ve had a tendency to yell at them.
Now, thanks to DB, TGFD communicates much better with young people.
The Guy from Delaware
Interesting fact: Greg interned at Teen Vogue.
TGFD, are the rumors true about you and Greg doing A2M on Tuesdays and Thursdays?
@41, you know Latin, obviously.
Treatin’ these summer analysts like 80% net IRRs: grip it and flip it, dawg!
Then move on…see you at J-Tree to creep.
I want an accounting of every firm’s interns. who’s got hotties, who’s got notties. gs, jpm, citi, sac, blk, bac, etc.
Give em the humidor treatment
-WJC
Wait. Wait. Wtf is WACC?! This wasn’t in Vault. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
- New Jefferies HC intern
Its more like Intern: I just calculated their WACC MD: WTF cares about WACC?
our first intern to arrive is from harvard. descrided herself as a ‘rising senior’. wtf does that mean? more valuable: a rising senior or an mba?
peach taint
My gf is interning here this summer (she was in the year below in college). What are my limitations?
@97- only that when you fuck her on the desk you have to tape it and send it to db…cool?
@98 which firm? are you in the same group?