Re: will Bernie be made Bubba's bitch, we personally believe Ponzi Boy will get in to the heads of the biggest guys on the block, break them down mentally and emotionally, and ultimately be seen as the inmate you don't wanna fuck with. The Journal spoke with prison expert Alan Ellis earlier, who thinks that might not be the case:
Just because someone is high-profile doesn't necessarily mean that safety is an issue, right?Right. I mean, Michael Vick was high profile, but was he in danger? I highly doubt it. He's a sports hero and he's, physically speaking, a big guy. But with Madoff, something else could factor in. There's an expression in prison that gets applied to prisoners -- "mice who want to become rats" -- which essentially refers to wanting to increase your stature in prison, or "making your bones." One way an inmate might "make his bones" is by hurting Bernie Madoff.
So, let's just "say" you're incarcerated in one of our nation's taxpayer funded bed and breakfasts, and have been looking to make a name for yourself, via a certain bespectacled Jew once considered to be good with money. What would you do, exactly? It doesn't necessarily have to involve fists.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:34PM
Bunk him with a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. They love MOT's.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:35PM
soap and shower.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:35PM
throw coffee in his face
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:35PM
A shiv at dawn. Trust me, I can be much more creative ...
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:35PM
@3 ftw
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:36PM
Talk to Greg for an hour a day.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:37PM
Hi! Can you postpone this discussion for just a few minutes? I'd love to respond, but Ron Insana is on right now.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:39PM
I'd choke him with a fistful of Zimbabwean dollars.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:41PM
I would strap him to the front hood of my Range Rover and drive around the upper east side pretending to be Lord Humongous.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:41PM
A night with Ruth.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:41PM
Beat him at Hearts.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 29, 2009 4:44PM
Its only a matter of time before Bernie's running the world's biggest ciggy Ponzi trading operation this side of San Quentin
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:46PM
@12 does that mean he smokes them just as fast as he takes them in? So death by lung cancer, cool!
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:50PM
Lord Humongous, ftw.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:50PM
Beat him to death with TGFD's frozen corpse.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:51PM
Bernie's impact is already being felt within the federal priso system. Today, the price of cigarettes skyrocketed as inmates began hording their supply in anticipation of Bernie's inflationary impact on the market:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/prison_economy_spirals_as_price
Posted by Meatbone9 , Jun 29, 2009 4:52PM
Pruno and a strike option conversion strategy running between his left and right butt cheeks...in the laundry room.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 4:54PM
Goldman Sachs.
BOOM, done.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 5:25PM
150 years of pork for dinner, getting porked for dessert
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 5:31PM
Play michael jackson's and madonna's records to Bernie boy, day and night,
at the same time.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 5:48PM
Bernie's got the kind of trouser snake to make plenty of new friends.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 6:23PM
This is completely unprofessional. Most white guys (around 6 ft) are definitely larger than mestizo/native guys (5'5-5'6) south of the border. Yet white males are the most likely to get raped in percentage terms. There are asians in prison too, and their percentage is less than whites. If a person is willing to die for their manhood then so be it. White guys should stop acting like they are all innocent and helpless. Remember the conqistadors, and the wrath of the white male that conquered the world.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 8:16PM
@22 you must smoke some pretty bizarre stuff.
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 8:47PM
All of this is irrelevant because he is going to medium security prison aka country club. Most likely he will bunk with the Enron guys they will play bridge together. Stop fantasizing Uncle Bernie will be with his own ilk not those who would have qualified as his er pardon me.... servants. Too bad he can't take his cars and rybovitch with him they would do a nice job cleaning it up for him everyday!
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 9:35PM
@22 Macke!!!
Posted by guest , Jun 29, 2009 10:26PM
Lotion makes a good lube.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2009 3:24AM
Mr. Levin,
You're a real sick fuck.
Cheers.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2009 3:24AM
I would have him do my taxes while we watch Shawshank Redemption.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2009 11:42AM
Bernie Boy will get parole and go to work at King & Spalding - a firm of sociopaths
At King & spalding, he will be in charge of associate development - teaching them how to better screw over clients and lateral hires