Bernie might get 150 years at today’s (10AM!) sentencing (or he might get a very reasonable 12) but clearly it’s Lady MacMadoff who’s about to get fucked up with some truth. First off, regardless of what the accommodations will be like, Ponz. Boy at least knows he definitely has a place to live for the next decade or so, whereas Ruth is two shakes away from being homeless. The penthouse at East 64th Street is getting sold, and apparently no one will rent her an apartment. She can’t move in with one of her sons, because Andy and Mark (who’ve ceased referring to her as “mom” opting instead for the cold as ice “Ruth”) want nothing to do with the woman who went through a combined 40 hours of labor to bring a pair of ungrateful fish boys into the world. She has no friends left (or florists, or colorists), so it’s not like there’s even the possibility of a pull-out couch situation. The only lead she’s got is a Rego Park studio, and even that will be tough to land.
Also there, the matter of Big R only having $2.3 million left to live on. I think she might actually have to get a job! But doing what? There’s probably a hedge fund out there that in previous years would’ve loved to land her cooking the books skills but obviously they can’t take that risk now. What we’re thinking could be a dream gig, mostly for the audience, would be Ruth, as the new host of Fast Money, which you know CNBC would go for as it could be ratings gold and would also class up the joint. Then again, she may not want to degrade herself so thoroughly, in which case we suggest selling candy on the subway (since she’ll be there and all anyway), or dancing at the new Scores. If you’ve got anything better, don’t hesitate to share. She needs our help.
I’m bored of Ruth. When can we get some more stories on the daggers being plunge into the horse-toothed carcasses of the Noels?
Hey, maybe Walter can put Ruth in the guest room on Round Hill Road?
@1 no one cares that you’re bored of ruth. today is madoff day whether you like it or not.
Bess – how about an over / under on the number of years Bernie is going to get, a little contest like you do for the close…..
I’m sorry. I was being greedy. I feel chastened.
Ruthie will be fine on her $115k a year at 5% down in Boca or out in AZ, away from a city with 10 daily newspapers. The question is when does she write the tell-all book and what publishing house takes on the deal?
Anybody have numbers for first year bankrupt women in their 60s?
I’ve got a $100 for her right here if the arthritis doesn’t prevent her from kneeling.
I can see her bunking with nubile co-eds at Stuyvesant Town in an apartment with pressurized walls.
I hear the bangbus is looking for new talent: http://www.bangbus.com
She could take dictation from Gasparino while he’s “penning [his] definitive book on this crisis.” Or maybe spot him at Equinox.
Strangers with Ruthy
Good thing I am sitting behind a desk. because Erin is giving me a chubby.
David Faber
Guaranteed she moves on to another high roller within a year…. She’s still a looker, plus she can cook….
@13 yeah but it’s kosher food and I need a bitch who will fry me up some bacon.
–s cohen
High six figure book deal guaranteed, but I imgagine any $$ will be attached and clawed back.
She gets a movie deal as well. It stars Meg Ryan.
her organs should be harvested and Gasbag should get first crack at her liver
I always wanted to bang her. Now I may get my chance.
Ezra Merkin
You can buy a pretty cheap shack in Alaska, and with the favorable man to woman ratio, she’ll be manned up in short order. She’s well preserved and all, she could land herself a real capable 50 year old outdoorsman.
I’ve just cancelled my Alaska re-lo plans
- handy 50-year old outdoorsman
Billy Mays’ successor
@9 — don’t you mean milfhunter? She’s a bit long in tooth for bangbus. I think Ruthie is ready for some black on white action.
You all can suck my dick.
-Ruth
Put her on The View, worse than a prison sentence.
There’s got to be a way to take away that 2.3MM?
I hear the Emperor’s Club is hiring…
She’s going to get a job hanging drywall at the new McDonald’s in Los Colinas
she moves to Fla, buys a house, waits for the civil suits to pile-up, declares bankruptcy, then does the book and movie deal only to be fed to miami based coked-up lazer sharks
I know how she can earn fourteen dollars the hard way…
I know how she can make fourteen dollars the hard way…
i’d boone her
-KL
Billy Mays’ successor
Ruthie the victim looks like Phil Spector so they should be pen pals and maybe he will throw her a few bucks. She will obviously screw anyone for money but they have to become friends first or she won’t do it. The woman has principles. And how bout those Noel sisters- when oh when are they coming out in the light of day. They probably are living in style on some Island since they have had plenty of time to relocate to a place that will keep them safe for the right price! By the way those weasel sons- are mad at mama?They would be working in the garment center selling rags if it wasn’t for her demands for a better life!
that 99 cent behind her is classic!