The coked up kind? But seriously: we're ten minutes into the Frontline documentary on the Bank of Amerillwide deal (which you should watch if you've got an hour in the middle of the day to spare, and who doesn't). Andrew Ross Sorkin has just described Bank of America (pre-MER ingestion) thusly: "They're sharks...but they're not Wall Street sharks...it's a different type of uh, of...of sea these people are swimming in." Somebody help me out here.
Update: We called up Charlie Gasparino, who's also featured in the documentary, to see if he knew what kind of shark a Bank of America shark would be. Sayeth CG: "I love Andrew Sorkin, I think he's a great reporter, but I didn't get the shark comment. Sharks don't get bullied into doing one day of due diligence. Sharks don't assume billions of dollar of losses on their books. Sharks don't agree to outlandish executive pay." (Chaz also told us, when asked if he had an other issues with the show, "I thought they softpedalled John Thain's statements on Merrill's finances over the year, and what they did to the market.")
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 2:58PM
hick sharks
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 2:58PM
sucker sharks?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 2:59PM
Who knew sharks could be retarded
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:00PM
@3 ha, yes. the answer is "retarded sharks."
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:00PM
you know he wanted to say ""They're sharks...but they're not Wall Street sharks...it's a different type of uh, of...of shark."
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:01PM
"DB Shark Day"
nice, big fan
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:01PM
I am reminded of the Simpsons episode with Snarky, the killer dolphin.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:02PM
this kid is a d-bag
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:03PM
What's the green arrow pointing to? I don't see it.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:03PM
@9 it's the "play" button
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:04PM
A deteriorating shark in Boones?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:04PM
They're long, brown, and swim in circles...
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:04PM
shoosh boy, shut your lips
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:05PM
shit for brains sharks
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:05PM
drunk sharks
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:05PM
Is ARS trying to karate chop the interviewer? "CAN YOU HANDLE THIS!!??"
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:05PM
A deteriorating shark in Boones?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:06PM
@12 FTW
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:06PM
Sharks that can suck on my shark's dick. Get somea this.
-- Stevie
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:06PM
nurse sharks
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:07PM
cletus sharks
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:07PM
HammerHead Sharks of course...
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:08PM
@9 For the love of Jebus please tell me you were joking
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:08PM
Hammered-head sharks?
Posted by Tax Chick , Jun 17, 2009 3:08PM
The lesson here is: Don't send a boy to do a man's job.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:09PM
12 wins the day. I giggled so hard I dropped a shark in my pants.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:12PM
I'm just a dolphin, ma'am
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:12PM
@12 - That is racist.
Bill Cosby
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:13PM
were gonna need a bigger boat
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:14PM
Lnad sharks. Rearguard did a nice story. When did this all happen?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:14PM
Hammerhead isn't BAC, it's HR at Morgan Stanley:
# Hammerhead Shark
The shape of their head allows them to be able to find prey easier. Since their eyes are set apart they can see what is going on in various directions better than other species of sharks.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:14PM
Oh shit.
Posted by NegativeConvexity , Jun 17, 2009 3:14PM
Environmentally-friendly, biodegradable shizzarks..
@9 - behind the scenes look at making of "Butt Boys of Brazil" - one of their top-tier fluffers displaying his angular, 'cup balls from behind' technique.
Posted by strangebrew , Jun 17, 2009 3:15PM
I saw this last night. John Thain's teeth are disgusting in HD. He should have spent some of that office renovation money on a good dentist.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:30PM
The kind of shark that doesn't give credit to other journalists when lifting from their website. Is that the kind of shark you're referring to Andrew?
SPODE
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:32PM
@35- you're good.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:35PM
I imagine Greg to look like Andrew Ross Sorkin, only less masculine.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:36PM
I will take Whale Shark to $1000 Alex
Too Big for its own good, not a very good swimmer but takes in an asston of liquid, Small eyes and a flat head with a small brain and souther accent, slow moving, lives forever, solitary...
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:36PM
Ken says, "Check the nearest pool for ML's Shart remains."
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:40PM
They are the kind of sharks that you used to +buy at the zoo when you were about 5 and put in water to watch them grow.
AFter about 5 minutes you got tired of them and either flushed them down the toilet, or chewed on them.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:42PM
The kind of shark that got iced by E.P.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:44PM
@19 - Jenowski? No f'in way dude!
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:46PM
Coke filled stuffed sharks.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:49PM
When you work for a company that sells its product on the expectation that customers will take only one paper from the stack in the machine after depositing a quarter, well then really they're all going to seem like sharks to you. But do you know who's not a shark? Obama. He takes only one paper every time.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 3:57PM
Shark sandwich?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:00PM
god love cg
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:11PM
My all-time favorite ARS moment was on Morning Joe when he loudly dared the assembled cast to "NAME ME ONE UNIONIZED COMPANY THAT IS A SUCCESS!! YOU CAN'T DO IT!! YOU CAN'T NAME ONE!!!"
All this, in front of a room full of GE employees who are in unions.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:19PM
CG knows that there is only one rule in life:
Live every week like it is Shark Week.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:20PM
in spite of myself i'm growing to love cg
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:24PM
Dick Fuld, you're fuckin' out!
-Kenny P.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:31PM
Reefer Shark?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:32PM
Gummy Shark
- Andrew Ross Gherkin
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:46PM
sweet bronzed sharks?
a-mozz
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:50PM
Botox sharks?
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 4:53PM
Gasparino is so wrong about sharks.
Nurse sharks are legendary for doing no diligence and they have paid the price in poor returns.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 5:13PM
@12 FTW.
Two sharks, one deal.
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 5:30PM
http://a315.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/97/l_d128a0ba44dbddd5120a56f9ee0008f2.jpg
Posted by guest , Jun 17, 2009 7:38PM
sharks don't take no prisoners!