• 04 Jun 2009 at 11:27 AM

Who Wants To Buy Some Stuffed Animal Heads (For A Good Cause)?

By Equity Private

Picture 1474.png
This is what we’re talking about! None of this asset liquidation of boats named Bull or wives named Ruth business. I want bodies– dead bodies. Above the prized possessions of admitted Ponzier Shawn Merriam. More than 100 “wildlife trophies,” including Russian black bears, African bongos, zebras, collected by Merriman during his many safaris over the years, are being sold by the government with proceeds going to his bilked investors. Ray Hatfield, the guy standing next to Mr. Moose, who has mounted Merriman’s kills for some time now, is prepping them at Nature’s Design Taxidermy (Hatfield actually jumped the gun on this one, having started to sell the animals before a court order was obtained, but none have left the state so everybody can just chill). In the market for a helix- antlered kudu of Africa? Get in touch!

Comments (23)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    Did they auction his Aston Martin ?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Did they auction his Aston Martin ?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    Dear Bear,
    Get that thing away from me.
    Best,
    Zebra

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    @1, @2
    Yes. Twice.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    baller

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    @3, my thoughts exactly! Well done.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    @3 – the moose cannot bear to see that happen

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    damn that bear is mounting the shit out of the zebra

  9. 9
    Posted by merkin capital partners | June 4, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    My grandpa would flip if I brought home a pair of African bongos. He’s still pissed about the Civil War.

  10. 10
    Posted by sugardaddy | June 4, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    “His safaris seemed excessive,” said Davis McCann, a former friend of Merriman’s who says he was conned out of $2 million. “He probably had enough heads to fill a semi-truck

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    @9, there’s one beneath the Zebra!

  12. 12
    Posted by girl | June 4, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Looks like he was trying to re-populate Noah’s ark; I don’t think anyone told him they had to be kept alive…

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    ZEBRABEARCLOPS vs. JACKALOBE
    Tonight at the Nassau Coliseum

  14. 14
    Posted by Becky Boot Fan | June 4, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    I wanted to see Africa, the unspoiled jewel of the wildlife world. I wanted to see rare and exotic animals from this hallowed, ancient land and kill them.
    I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    “Oh Africa, Brave Africa”

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    @14 – Then please explain the peace symbol

  17. 17
    Posted by american bandersnatch | June 4, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Becky Boot Fan. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    @17
    You are faster on the draw
    @16

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    Anyone not surprised that the taxidermist is named Hatfield?

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    @15, heard it was a laugh riot

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    How much for the stuffed Star Trek groupie next to the moose?

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    I’m betting a mounted and stuffed Merriman would take best in show.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 2:35 PM

    Can we get Greg stuffed and placed under the bear?

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