$$$ U.S. House Passes Bill Allowing Ban on Incentive Pay [Bloomberg]
$$$ Andres Piedrahita denies responsibility in Madoff fraud [CR via clusterstock]
$$$ Hiring: Goldman Sachs, Fifth Third, Wells Fargo [The Deal]
$$$ Job of the Week: UBS Needs an associate director of investment banking. You. [DB Career Center]
$$$ We have not heard a single update about this morning’s bull rider. Bull rider, if you’re reading this, get in touch.
$$$ Programming note: I’ll be on vacation next week through the 12th. Equity Private will be subbing, and of course Greg will be here with the topless photos.
Archive for July 2009
$$$ U.S. House Passes Bill Allowing Ban on Incentive Pay [Bloomberg]
When asked today about whether GS acutally had better people which helped them avoid a Lehman-like end, Taibbi spelled it out in crystal clear terms by saying,”they’re not smarter than other people” and then launched into his government consipracy theory to explain the firm’s profitability.
If you’ve got half an hour to kill, you can listen to the Mad Max Tour warm up music in its entirety
At left is the sculpture Richard Perry and his wife, man-purse designer Lisa had installed on their terrace at 1 Sutton Place South in 2007. Nobody had much of a problem with the piece– a Jeff Koons, worth a few million or so– back then but lately the garish display has started to stick in the craw of Perry’s neighbs, for two reasons. First, they think it’s hideous. “I think it’s as ugly as it comes,” said Juergen Thieme, who lives across the street at 2 Sutton Place. And second? It’s freaking blinding them.
Neighbors who live across the street in a penthouse at 14 Sutton Place complained that the light reflecting off it was burning like lasers through their windows, and workmen had to adjust the diamond’s positioning, a source said.
It was one thing when a certain art loving hedge fund manager had a crane dump a diamond encrusted money sign the size of a football field on the roof of his Greenwich-area manse, disrupting gravitational pulls and distracting planes flying overhead. But this? This is quite another.
Diamond In The Roof [NYP via Daily Intel]
Add this to the list of green shoots. With unemployment flirting with 10%, the degree of lying about academic credentials on resumes has remained in line with prior years according to an executive search firm run by Jude Werra that produces a Liars Index twice a year. According to the index, approximately 16% of job seekers gave themselves an academic upgrade during the first half of 2009 which is right in line with the four year average of 15.8%. The 4th of July appears to be the inflection point for telling the truth as the level of academic fiction drops to 11.8% in the second half of the year.
“The important issue here is less about an apparent pattern of seasonal volatility and more about our warning employers that about one in every seven résumés they receive is likely to have misrepresented academic credentials, whether falsified majors, graduation dates or outright invented degrees,” Werra said in a statement.
Only time will tell if somebody tries to explain this away as ‘Intensive Summer Coursework in Financial Markets’.
The Senator has “been diagnosed with early-stage prostate cancer.” Dodd, who will be operated on soon, told reporters that he has no plans to quit his job and that he feels fine (and, as a warning, noted that one out of every six men you know will be afflicted with a similar condition, so watch out). We wish him a speedy recovery, and on the off chance the Senator needs a little pick me up, we’ll be dispatching one to Connecticut this afternoon, once a candy striper outfit is procured.
In case anybody at GS is having a rough Friday, there is a concerned individual on Craigslist who wants to help you out.
Hi. I am a receptionist in the Financial District and I totally suck at pool (happy Courtney?). LOL. But let it be known that I am a girl who pays her debts if she loses a bet. So with that, let me just say — Happy Flash Friday to everyone, especially all the guys at GS. I hope these pics give you a smile and help jump start a great weekend. You all deserve it. xxoo
It starts with
And ramps up to the NSFW category after the jump
With the scrutiny on high frequency trading increasing every moment Chuck Schumer is awake, the head of electronic trading at GS, Greg Tusar, is calling out regulators to bring it on.
“The reality is our inter-market routing has become highly technical and highly complex and it’s not a bad idea to step back and take a look at it. We need to find out if there is anything we should change and where the gaps in regulation should be closed.”
With Goldman being one of the leaders in the nanosecond timing market, it appears they’ve become tired of having others come up the regulation gaming learning curve and nipping at their heels. Given the thorough, air-tight history of trading regulation, finding a way around whatever electronic trading plans make Schumer sleep better at night should take GS about as long as executing one of their trades.
The photographer writes: “I just took this ten minutes ago as I was about to walk into my
office…I think it came out pretty well but that’s a kid 100% passed out/maybe dead, on the bull, in his briefs. Two news reporters were just pulling up when I snapped this.”
In all seriousness: WTF? If anyone has anything to get off their chests, please do so at this time.
By now it’s been pretty well established that the RSVP list to this year’s meet up of the worst people on earth is riddled with lies. We assumed everyone would be over it by now, but no– a lot of you are beside yourselves, this idea that people might be fucking with you (“They’re trying to mess with us? They thought they could mess with us?!?”), and need to work through the shock/pain/grief. As always, we’re (begrudgingly) here for you.
From: [redacted at Goldman Sachs]
Subject: FMF shenanigans con’t
Also writing from Goldman here, re: FMF. I checked out the directory to cross-reference the names of people allegedly attending the event from GS and as was pointed out yesterday, there are maybe three people listed who actually work here, the rest are shams. Among those telling the truth, I’m being honest when I tell you that I snorted to myself upon noting their actual titles compared to the inflated ones submitted to FMF. I can tell you with a level of certainty that their salaries are NOT what they say they are. It’s rather absurd that they/the GS imposters are being allowed to get away with this, and I hope they’re stopped at the door.
Regulators Are Getting Tougher On Banks (WSJ)
The Federal Reserve and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency have issued more “memorandums of understanding” than in the past, telling banks to do stuff like suck less, which the “targets” think is way harsh. “It’s frustrating and aggravating,” said Pat Sheaffer, chairman and chief executive officer of Riverview Bancorp Inc. Bank of America, on notice as well, doesn’t like it much either.
‘Teachable’ Moment Observed With Beer (WSJ)
The president drank Bud Light. Mr. Gates drank Sam Adams Light while Mr. Crowley had a Blue Moon. Mr. Biden, a surprise addition to the session, had a Bucklers, a low-alcohol beer.
US Limits On Bank Pay, Bonuses Face Senate, Obama Skepticism (Bloomberg)
“Hedge funds and other money managers should be exempt from limits because if you think you are paying too much you can take your money out,” said Phillip Goldstein. “It’s the same thing with baseball. You see the price on the tickets and if you think it’s too much, don’t go to the game. I can’t believe anybody who took Econ 101 could support this.”
After Rescue, New Weakness Seen at A.I.G. (NYT)
If A.I.G.’s incoming premiums shrink, W. O. Myrick, a retired chief insurance examiner warned, “the whole thing’s going to collapse in on itself.”
The Risk Mirage At Goldman Sachs (BusinessWeek)
Down with VaR! says one guy: “Whatever your opinion of Goldman’s fortunes and market forays in this recession, the fact is that a VaR-based analysis of any firm’s riskiness is useless. VaR lies. Big time. As a predictor of risk, it’s an impostor. It should be consigned to the dustbin. Firms should stop reporting it. Analysts and regulators should stop using it.”
HSBC May Post Loss on $15 Billion Bad Loan Provisions (Bloomberg)
Sad trombones all around.
US Administration Working to Keep ‘Clunkers’ Program (CNBC)
Even though it’s basically out of money, etc, etc, etc.
Bernanke’s Popularity (FT)
Do you hate the Fed Chairman because he has a facial hair? Is that it?
$$$ Matt Goldstein: Wall Street meets The Matrix [Reuters via ZH]
$$$ Liz Peek, wife of CIT CEO Jeff, is pro-bonuses. [HuffPo]
$$$ Sickness scare at Bank of America office, strong perfume the culprit [TMT]
$$$ Merrill Lynch Paid More Than $3 Billion Bonuses After Suffering $27 Billion In Losses [clusterstock]
$$$ Sheila Bair shot down for Vogue photoshoot [Cityfile]