Archive for July 2009

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 4:55 PM

Write-Offs: 07.31.09

$$$ U.S. House Passes Bill Allowing Ban on Incentive Pay [Bloomberg]
$$$ Andres Piedrahita denies responsibility in Madoff fraud [CR via clusterstock]
$$$ Hiring: Goldman Sachs, Fifth Third, Wells Fargo [The Deal]
$$$ Job of the Week: UBS Needs an associate director of investment banking. You. [DB Career Center]
$$$ We have not heard a single update about this morning’s bull rider. Bull rider, if you’re reading this, get in touch.
$$$ Programming note: I’ll be on vacation next week through the 12th. Equity Private will be subbing, and of course Greg will be here with the topless photos.

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 3:59 PM

Matt Taibbi Has A Reminder For People At His Favorite Firm

When asked today about whether GS acutally had better people which helped them avoid a Lehman-like end, Taibbi spelled it out in crystal clear terms by saying,”they’re not smarter than other people” and then launched into his government consipracy theory to explain the firm’s profitability.

If you’ve got half an hour to kill, you can listen to the Mad Max Tour warm up music in its entirety

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 3:42 PM

Richard Perry Will Burn Your Eyes Out With His Bling

Picture 1847.pngAt left is the sculpture Richard Perry and his wife, man-purse designer Lisa had installed on their terrace at 1 Sutton Place South in 2007. Nobody had much of a problem with the piece– a Jeff Koons, worth a few million or so– back then but lately the garish display has started to stick in the craw of Perry’s neighbs, for two reasons. First, they think it’s hideous. “I think it’s as ugly as it comes,” said Juergen Thieme, who lives across the street at 2 Sutton Place. And second? It’s freaking blinding them.

Neighbors who live across the street in a penthouse at 14 Sutton Place complained that the light reflecting off it was burning like lasers through their windows, and workmen had to adjust the diamond’s positioning, a source said.

It was one thing when a certain art loving hedge fund manager had a crane dump a diamond encrusted money sign the size of a football field on the roof of his Greenwich-area manse, disrupting gravitational pulls and distracting planes flying overhead. But this? This is quite another.
Diamond In The Roof [NYP via Daily Intel]

Picture 1846.pngThe ass-bleeding stops and every wants a piece of his shit.

To: DealBreaker
From: [redacted at Citadel]
Subject: not cool
Also there’s no Chris Theoharis at Citadel. Dude’s not listed in our directory. They should check IDs at that fucking FMF party.

Earlier: Real Goldman Sachs Employees Demand Accountability At Fashion Meets Finance

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 1:27 PM

Leading Economic Indicator Supports Recent Rally

Polygraph.jpgAdd this to the list of green shoots. With unemployment flirting with 10%, the degree of lying about academic credentials on resumes has remained in line with prior years according to an executive search firm run by Jude Werra that produces a Liars Index twice a year. According to the index, approximately 16% of job seekers gave themselves an academic upgrade during the first half of 2009 which is right in line with the four year average of 15.8%. The 4th of July appears to be the inflection point for telling the truth as the level of academic fiction drops to 11.8% in the second half of the year.

“The important issue here is less about an apparent pattern of seasonal volatility and more about our warning employers that about one in every seven résumés they receive is likely to have misrepresented academic credentials, whether falsified majors, graduation dates or outright invented degrees,” Werra said in a statement.

Only time will tell if somebody tries to explain this away as ‘Intensive Summer Coursework in Financial Markets’.

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 12:27 PM

Chris Dodd Is Not Well

Picture 1845.pngThe Senator has “been diagnosed with early-stage prostate cancer.” Dodd, who will be operated on soon, told reporters that he has no plans to quit his job and that he feels fine (and, as a warning, noted that one out of every six men you know will be afflicted with a similar condition, so watch out). We wish him a speedy recovery, and on the off chance the Senator needs a little pick me up, we’ll be dispatching one to Connecticut this afternoon, once a candy striper outfit is procured.

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 11:17 AM

Somebody Downtown Has A Present For The Guys At Goldman

In case anybody at GS is having a rough Friday, there is a concerned individual on Craigslist who wants to help you out.

Hi. I am a receptionist in the Financial District and I totally suck at pool (happy Courtney?). LOL. But let it be known that I am a girl who pays her debts if she loses a bet. So with that, let me just say — Happy Flash Friday to everyone, especially all the guys at GS. I hope these pics give you a smile and help jump start a great weekend. You all deserve it. xxoo

It starts with
And ramps up to the NSFW category after the jump

Read more »

  • 31 Jul 2009 at 10:24 AM

Goldman Becoming Bored Exploiting Current Regulation

Schumer.jpgWith the scrutiny on high frequency trading increasing every moment Chuck Schumer is awake, the head of electronic trading at GS, Greg Tusar, is calling out regulators to bring it on.

“The reality is our inter-market routing has become highly technical and highly complex and it’s not a bad idea to step back and take a look at it. We need to find out if there is anything we should change and where the gaps in regulation should be closed.”

With Goldman being one of the leaders in the nanosecond timing market, it appears they’ve become tired of having others come up the regulation gaming learning curve and nipping at their heels. Given the thorough, air-tight history of trading regulation, finding a way around whatever electronic trading plans make Schumer sleep better at night should take GS about as long as executing one of their trades.