A friend downtown tells us the House of Goldman appears to be in the midst of an evacuation, with "security types directing people to the side of the building, but only 2 police cruisers...no sirens or anything." No idea what's up, though it's not necessarily a panic situation. It could just be that they needed to make room for the money, which is being brought in tonight in twenty dollar denominations for everyone to strip down and roll around in for ten minutes tomorrow morning, just to get a taste of what life could be like come bonus time if they keep it up (if they don't keep it up they'll be rolling around in the sweat of a noted Italian-American reporter, accrued from a day-long shoot of his self-funded exercise video, taped, without permission, on the GS trading floor). Presumably there's nothing to see here, but if you know what's going on, Maxine, get in touch. In related news, this lady says Goldman owes us all money and if they're not going to hand it over we're just gonna have to go get it ourselves.
Update: Still unclear what's happening, though apparently "it looks like a drill," not specifically having anything to do with fire but more like a what-to-do in the very likely event M. Waters storms the building before Labor Day, when guards are down and they're least suspecting it.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:20PM
Big Momma in ball-gag and assless chaps causing panic
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:20PM
@1 hah
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Jul 15, 2009 4:20PM
Probably heading over to a couple Bonanza buses, for a jaunt over to Sin City. You can't keep a good man down.
I hear LB hand-picked the girls himself.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:22PM
Gaspacino, what did you do buddy?
Posted by Pay It Forward , Jul 15, 2009 4:22PM
@1 Very nice.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:25PM
CG called in a bomb threat
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jul 15, 2009 4:25PM
The Goldmen is isolationing the po-lice forces to prevent them from the assistance with minority communities.
-mw
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:29PM
Stay away from my gold!!!
LB
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:36PM
Someone lowered the pants on the 13th floor, in addition to the two regulars, there was a third one of metallic texture, either for a show of toughness or it could be a threat. To play it safe before the the bumper bonus are collected, LB ordered the evac.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:41PM
Sin City- look at that place from Metro North every night on the way home and assume it is teeming w/ Pro's and/or cops posing as such.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:42PM
Punish me.
Do it.
Go ahead and twist my nipples.
I want you to.
I am not afraid.
Go for it.
Torture me.
I won't tell you a thing.
CG
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:42PM
@10 you look at downtown manhattan from the metro north? challenge.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:43PM
Remain calm, the program is still at work.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:43PM
I heard Gasparino crop-dusted the place after a two-stromboli lunch.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Jul 15, 2009 4:46PM
@12
Sin City is just over the river, viewable from Harlem and New Haven lines. It's usually a welcome site, when cracking a beer, leaving GCT, and calculating whether you'll get some spousal ass tonight, of jack off to pics of Obama's new surgeon general.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:47PM
I understand that Gasbagarumor will demonstrate his omnipotence by leaping from the building without a parachute at 5 pm. Goldman has underwritten the event, promising that if he survives they will make a small donation to his alma mater PK (Pace Kollege) and give him free grammer lessons for life at the Kommunity Kollege of his choice!
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:52PM
Forget 20s, think coins. Duck Tales style.
Posted by Bess Levin , Jul 15, 2009 4:54PM
@17 good call
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:57PM
Suck my tits and cup my balls, peons!
Its Meredith Whitney time, bitch!
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:57PM
I believe it was Lloyd's gold-plated scrot that set off an alarm. Nice, but not practical.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:01PM
@16 really good
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:01PM
can't decide if it's 16 or 20 ftw
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:05PM
20 FTW, though 1 kicked it off right.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:09PM
@20 don't they all have gold-plated scrots? i know I do.
-big momma
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:10PM
14 is accurate.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:11PM
4/6/11/14/16 ftw, because they mention me.
-cg
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:13PM
this gs-related comment ftw:
http://www.businessinsider.com/discovered-how-goldman-hedged-its-exposure-to-cit-2009-7#comment-4a5e3dc84b5437ab00b6ca2a
-DaveInDenver
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:16PM
"if they don't keep it up they'll be rolling around in the sweat of a noted Italian-American reporter, accrued from a day-long shoot of his self-funded exercise video, taped, without permission, on the GS trading floor"
can we get a discussion going on what sort of hallucinogenics Levin hops herself up on before work ever day?
Posted by trojan , Jul 15, 2009 5:32PM
Blankfein as Scrooge McDuck
Pandit as Flintheart Glomgold
CGas as Donald
Cartoon gold.
Posted by trojan , Jul 15, 2009 5:35PM
ps.
28 = chuck g
its bess. not levin.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:37PM
SO THATS WHY TRADING WAS LIGHT IN AIG TODAY. MADOFFS AT GS WERE AT ULYSSES DURING THE FIRE BREAK.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:44PM
I don't get it.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:48PM
@28, I think you got it sort of backwards.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:50PM
@33 meaning what? the hallucinogenics come after work?
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 6:53PM
@16. That is the funniest post I have ever read on DB. First, the "gasbagarumor" label is priceless. That precisely describes this clown. He doesn't have any meaningful or informed sources. He sits on shitter all night at elaine's and easedrops on the urinal discussions. And, the PK refernce is hysterical. No question - the Gasbag is the dumbest mofo on the tube and he speaks like a punk from da bronx. The height of this irony was this flunkie actually giving grades to others a few weeks ago. A reporter with a double digit IQ is a dangerous thing. CNBC raise you standards. Way to go 16. You are a very, very funny person.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Jul 15, 2009 7:16PM
@35
i can't figure out if there's irony in that or not...my bad if i'm missing it, but otherwise you are very european
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 7:50PM
You have a friend?
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 10:21PM
Hey 35, any time, any place, anywhere. I'll rip off your nose and piss down the hole that used to be your nose. Golden Gloves, baby, Golden Gloves.
-CG
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 4:16AM
...accrued from a day-long shoot of his self-funded exercise video, taped, without permission, on the GS trading floor.
This conjures, for me, a wonderful image of Gaspaccino (thanks @4) in a green, white and red bodytard, legwarmers - holding an 80's style boom box blasting "Let's get physical".