Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:53AM

that was so gay.

- homo banker.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:53AM

LD's going to have to start doing retarded gay porn to pull himself out of this hole.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:54AM

a whole lot of cocksucking, $10 a pop

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:55AM

Nails is screwed.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:55AM

he looks a lot like ryan phillipe.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:56AM

@3 it worked for me.

-Burt Reynolds, noted former bankrupt individual

http://dealbreaker.com/2009/07/lenny-dykstra-tells-his-side-o.php

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:57AM

Lenny "I Can Suck A Baseball Through a Garden Hose" Dykstra

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:57AM

DB should pimp LD out to hard-up bankers in need of a jerk, and collect 10%.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:58AM

Why is his name Nails?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:59AM

serious question: what are the odds LD could land the UBS director gig?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:00AM

This picture is gayer than Elton John's house on Christmas Eve.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:01AM

@12 100 to 1

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:01AM

that picture = my new background

-gay banker who likes his partners retarded and bankrupt

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:02AM

never gonna happen. he's done.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:07AM

That is a picture of Lenny Dykstra.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:07AM

Art Director: “Why the hell is his shirt off, we’re taking team pictures today”
Photographer: “This is a compromise -before you got here he wasn’t wearing any pants”
Art Director: “really”
Photographer: “oh yeah…and the nickname ‘nails'…more like ‘tac’
Art Director: “oh no you didn’t!”
Photographer: “oh yes I did!”
Art Director: “Come here and kiss me”
Photographer: “Done! Lenny can I borrow you’re lube?”

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:07AM

When my @$$ was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of my $h*t. Just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a fu*king cannon. But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:07AM

That posture has inspired me to lose 50 pounds and declare bankruptcy

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:10AM

@18 - Thank you Mr. Helper!!

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:11AM

I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:11AM

I used to think life was like a game of baseball. And that hardwork and moxy could get you anywhere. Investing isn't really like baseball at all it turns out. The two are really quite different. I'll sell you my blood for $5...how about a, trade, i'm starving.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:13AM

Looks like Lenny really did lose his shirt!!!

~Dumb Joke Guy

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:13AM

He should get a tetanus shot.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:14AM

@19 well done

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:15AM

@19 ftw

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:15AM

it moved

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:15AM

when is his training video coming out?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:16AM

NAILS
- No Actual Intelligence, Lost Savings

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:16AM

homo-erotic pictures of bankrupt ex-baseball players is the new killin' it.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:17AM

I've got an arm like a cannon, a cock like a python, and a mind of a scientist.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:17AM

baseball sucks

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:18AM

DB commenter: When you did steroids, did they make your balls shrink?

Lenny Dykstra: Oh, you think that's funny? How 'bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:18AM

The pouty look, cocked hip, well defined pecs and slight dusting of hair make it look just like a porn dvd cover. It just needs a more provocative title -"Balls" maybe. Thanks. I now have a raging hard on. This is better than Tanner. More please.

- another homo banker

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:21AM

I'd hit it.

-larry summers

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:23AM

Nails.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:24AM

"1986 called and wants its nails back" SNL

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:26AM

The scene Bernie Madoff will be facing in federal prison.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:26AM

Didn't I bang Donald Trump like, 6 times?

Brando

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:26AM

@40

No.

-larry summers

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:27AM

@31, very funny.

This guy was a jerkoff when he was playing, hes just carrying it over into his retired life. He eats a shotgun within 6 months,

I dont make money I print it, Im the anti-Nails

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:32AM

Greg, I love you, I think you're a terrific girl, but you got clothes like a fucking dickhead.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:33AM

Cigarettes aren't the only thing Keith Hernandez smokes

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:37AM

MBA, CFA, or Dykstra?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:37AM

"Do these cleats make me look gay?"

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:40AM

@48 - no, the oiled chest does.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:45AM

Steve Carlton, I'll still stick him.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:47AM

@47 ftw

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:48AM

49 As do those smears under the eyes. Do they have a name? I'm gay, haven't a clue. I do know though that they put them on the actors in every jock-themed gay porn movie, probably to make them look butch. But then they start talking and the fantasy fades fast.

I'm still hot from this though.

- another homo banker

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:53AM

Favorite Pitch: Inside Assball

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:57AM

"A true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies."

- Kenny Powers

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:58AM

"You pitch and I'll catch"

-Lenny "A Bottom" Dykstra

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:01AM

"You think I'm going away quietly? You think I'm gonna sell insurance? You think I'm gonna quote bid/asks on natural gas costless collars? You think I'm going to be a crude oil buyer? You think I'm just going to fade away like some skid mark on 9 day old underwear? Fuck you...I'm Kenny Powers and I'm here to stay!"

~Kenny Powers

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:02AM

Lenny is looking forward to a Super Bowl between the Oilers and the Packers.

-an old In Living Color reference.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:05AM

I enjoy getting to third so Davey can put the squeeze play on for me and visualizing world peace

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:22AM

I recognize this photo from the Tobacco Growers Association's "Got Dip?" campaign.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:28AM

Anyone know where I can find the John Kruk companion poster where he's lathered in pine tar?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:31AM

58- Antoine Merriweather is that you? 2 snaps up!

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:36AM

@58 - you know if Lenny played football, he'd be a tight end.

Three snaps in a Z formation - the Zorro snap.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:37AM

11 cuz his johnson looks like a nail.

Jim Cramer

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:43AM

@20 - I guess no one here watches Eastbound and Down...

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:45AM

@66 - wrong, we watch eastbound, its just that that exact comment was posted like 12 times yesterday.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:47AM

Leads the league in balls on the chin

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 11:58AM

Why is there blue shit on your face Cramer? What, did you just blow Robocop?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:11PM

@66- you mean other than @20, @33, @45, @55, and @57 and the fact that KP quotes are fairly played out? Other than that, then yes, no one here watches Eastbound and Down.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:29PM

Bess, do we have a winner yet?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:37PM

http://men.style.com/gq/features/full?id=content_8558

From a former Dykstra employee:

Includes such precious gems as:

“I’m working with Lenny,” I say. It is now 3 a.m. I tell Lenny that I need to be on the three-ten train back to Long Island.

Dude, I’ll put you in a car and send you home when we’re done,” he says. This sounds like a sweet deal—the only time I’d been offered a late-night car home on the Post’s dime was when the pope died.

We shake hands, and Lenny gives me a little wink. As I get ready to leave, he asks how much a taxi to Long Island will cost. Between $50 and $100, I say. Lenny pulls out his wallet, removes a crisp $100, and hands it to me. “You got $50 change?” he asks.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:44PM

@72 - you are a scholar and a gentleman. Well done.

I think this is perhaps the best line in the whole piece. Really sums up the situation:

"The whole idea, Lenny said, was to teach young pros the financial savvy they’d need to afford a lifetime of the luxurious lifestyle that Lenny K. Dykstra himself now enjoyed."

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:55PM

60 Speak for youself

- another homo banker

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 12:58PM

Lenny had a stroke, right?

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 1:03PM

my wood from seeeing that picture is larger than what he holds in his hands..

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 1:37PM

Seen: Dykstra takes a bat to his earning.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 1:37PM

Seen: Dykstra takes a bat to his earnings

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 1:53PM

The strangest part of working at The Players Club, though, is Lenny’s adolescent antics. Editorial “brainstorming sessions,” fueled by Coca-Cola and ice cream sundaes, typically last until dawn. But this does not mean things are getting done. Most meetings are simply extended hang-out sessions, with Lenny cracking up at his own jokes or asking us to watch the Real Sports segment over and over, especially the moment where Lenny points to his seat on his private plane and says, “This is where the Big Man sits.” He also seems to relish letting go a long, leisurely fart for the amusement of his employees or showing off his silk tie and saying, “You see this tie? I paid $500 for it” as he rubs it on his crotch and laughs at our embarrassed expressions.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:33PM

19 is killing it.

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:34PM

19 is Killing It.(tm)

(fixed)

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:35PM

fuckin haters, you know I look damn good.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:35PM

what, you'd rather see Larry Summers in that pose? that's what I thought.

-L DYKES

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:37PM

Let me clarify something. When I said "Lenny Dykstra is one of the greats in this business," I didn't mean one of the greats in the investing business, I meant one of the greats in the retarded gay porn business. Do you see the distinction?

--Jim Cramer

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:39PM

I've jacked it to this poster 8 times this afternoon alone.

-J CRAMER

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:39PM

I've jacked it to this poster 8 times this afternoon alone.

-J CRAMER

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:40PM

I've jacked it to this poster 8 times this afternoon alone.

-J CRAMER

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:41PM

I've also sucked my own cock to this pic, which is different than jacking it.

-JC

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 2:41PM

kiss my ask and suck my dick, everyone.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 3:10PM

Protein shake anyone?

CG

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 3:12PM

Or "Protein Shake, it does a body good"

CG

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 3:55PM

@12 FTW!!!!!!

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:49PM

Just beat off to this thing one more time.

-LD

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:05PM

Don't forget to cup the balls, Lenny.

~Ma Dykstra

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:45PM

Next year's smash hit on FOX:

Lenny and Ruth Maddoff try their hand at running a swank Cleavland beauty salon, but the fun spills into the night, since they live together above the salon!

Lenny and Ruth - Broken Nails...

Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 10:59PM

@96 Leads league in balls in the chin