2033Comments (50)http%3A%2F%2Fdealbreaker.com%2F2009%2F07%2Fcaption-contest-monday-uncle-cody%2FCaption+Contest+Monday%3A+Uncle+Cody2009-07-20+20%3A30%3A18Bess+Levinhttp%3A%2F%2Fwp.dealbreaker.com%2F2009%2F07%2Fcaption-contest-monday-uncle-cody%2F

1. 1
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:32 PM

   Amazing. Dis wittle ball is the exact size uh my bwain.

2. 2
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:32 PM

   Dude, I hit my head.

3. 3
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:33 PM

   Why are there balls always flying at my face?

4. 4
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:35 PM

   “We are starting for real — I’m serving,” Mr. Willard warned Mr. Altucher, paddle in hand. After one particularly spectacular dive for the ball, Mr. Willard declared, “For the record, I will sacrifice my body.”

5. 5
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:38 PM

   Mom – look at me – one hand!

6. 6
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:38 PM

   I think he’s cute, but I’ve always been a sucker for emo boys. Didn’t know till the NYT article that he was friends with Neil Patrick Harris, acknowledged gay boy. Maybe I have a chance?
   - homo banker

7. 7
   Posted by NakedShort | July 20, 2009 at 3:40 PM

   “Who needs pockets? You can comfortably hold ping pong balls in your butthole and shoot them out when needed”

8. 8
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:43 PM

   “I don’t normally see balls from this angle”

9. 9
   Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:43 PM

   I’m going to shoot this ping-pong ball out of my vagina

10. 10
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    “Greg, it is my turn with the paddle”

11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/user/muddysouls#play/all/uploads-all/1/9GsgP90DGPQ
    Dylan must be rolling in his grave…oh wait, he’s not dead.

12. 12
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    I’m a douche.
    -Cody

13. 13
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:45 PM

    NYT writing about FBN – sad.

14. 14
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    Why do random people always punch me in the face when I play with my balls?

15. 15
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    I live my life as my hero Mitch Kramer in the movie “Dazed and Confused”

16. 16
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:51 PM

    13 They’re writing about CW, not FBN, and its in the Style section. Do you feel less sad now?

17. 17
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:52 PM

    does this paddle make me look gay?

18. 18
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    http://www.myspace.com/muddysouls
    I have to admit, I kinda dig the Bernie Madoff rap.

19. 19
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:55 PM

    “Seriously dude, I don’t look like Scott Stapp on blow! Say it again and I quit!”

20. 20
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:55 PM

    Who thought someone would want to read an article about Cody Willard? This is the weakest shit I’ve seen since Joe Buck Live.

21. 21
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 3:56 PM

    Can someone please tell me the “dive bar where [cody willard and co.] normally play” that is near the flatiron so that i never, ever go there?

22. 22
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    it is called slate and it is not a dive bar

23. 23
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    http://nymag.com/listings/bar/slate_restaurant_bar_billiards/
    Like playing games with your date? Well, whether you’re looking to work through dominance issues or you just want to meet up with friends to shoot some pool, this is the best billiard joint in Chelsea. Though it’s not the cheapest place to rack ‘em up, this well-lit bi-level pool hall maintains its tables beautifully. And unlike with many of its competitors, there’s more than enough room between the tables: You’ll actually spend more time between shots conversing with your own group than enduring the inevitable drama at nearby tables. There’s also food available in the attractive upstairs dining room.

24. 24
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    Jimmy Cayne (not pictured) fellates Cody Willard as he plays ping pong at Slate.

25. 25
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    Pretty sure the bar in the picture is “Sausage&Plums” in MePa.

26. 26
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    forehead, paddle, forehead, paddle….

27. 27
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 20, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    Cody willard in the style section? With that mop? Seriously?

28. 28
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:35 PM

    @20 How bad is Joe Buck Live-The set should have urinals and a stall.

29. 29
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Is that one of the kids from Hanson all grown up?

30. 30
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    I WILL PAY $23.7 TRILLION TO SPEND A NIGHT OUT WITH CODY WILLARD

31. 31
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:40 PM

    Cody Willard?
    What a loser.

32. 32
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    See my side spin top twist push crusher, you mother sucker.

33. 33
    Posted by FUNdamental | July 20, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    Eh after reading that I’d have a beer with him. Fuck all y’all elitists too cool for school.
    Does look like stapp though, good call.

34. 34
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 4:53 PM

    @fun- have you read anything he’s written, out of curiosity?

35. 35
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 5:00 PM

    he certainly can be one vicious cunt

36. 36
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    pop-folk-grunge? really?

37. 37
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 5:19 PM

    I’m Dutch; zis bawl esht moovin to fasht…
    BlackPoint

38. 38
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    L’ Empester Hotel
    #86
    77&3/4 Avenue
    New York, NY 10019
    Account: Willard, C.
    Room: Penthouse East
    Method of payment: Amex “Black” ending in “1512″
    Rate: $995.00/night plus app tax
    Charges to Room
    ————————
    Large Ceremonial Style Jeweled Sword.. $ 1,896.00
    Audio CD: “New Kids on the Block”. 11.00
    Rosetta Stone Softw’(Pronouncing “Ruidoso”)… 1,440.00
    Damage: Removal of “Dweomer Aura”………… 125.00
    Psionic Elements (1box)…………………………… 88.00
    Blacklight Poster: (Image L. Blankfein)………… 15.00
    Book: “Emo Financial Careers for Dummies” .. 27.00
    R. Bud Philson “Easy Air Guitar” Volume 1.. … 13.95
    Scottish Formal Kilt Attire (Willard Clan)…….. 750.00
    Blue Scottish Warrier Face Makeup……………. 75.00
    Book: “Understanding Mel Gibson”…………… 33.00
    Goldman Sachs Logo Ping Pong Balls (1 Gross) 125.00
    Blacklight Poster (Image “Liz Claman”)….. … 15.00
    Chainsaw (1Stihl)………………………………….. 345.00
    Movie:Harold Kumar Escape from Guantanamo”. 8.00
    Meatball Sandwich……………………………….. 14.00
    Mentos (1 case)…………. ………………………… 35.00
    25 single liters “Sprite” beverage.. …………… 30.00
    Corinthian helmet and Boetian shield (replica).. 850.00
    Phone: “New York’s Hottest Party Line” (2 hr). 375.00
    Toothpicks (1 box/plastic)… …………………… 3.95
    AXE “Chocolate” (2 gal/spray mist)…………… 125.00
    Damage: Grape seed removal from ceiling… 150.00
    Hatch, NM Green Chilis (3 boxes)………. ……. 18.00
    Bouquet : “BooYa” Roses (Recipient Jim Cramer) 175.00
    4 Rolls: Goldman Sachs Logo Toilet Paper….. 24.00
    Painter’s radio (1 used)…… ……………………… 22.00
    Video Box Set: “Sex and the City”………………. 75.00
    Instructions: “Proper Use of Thighmaster”……. 9.00
    5 Box “Kleenex”………………………………………. 10.00
    Instructional Video: “Man-Scaping and You”… 34.00
    Black Leather Zippered Face Mask & Red Gag Ball. 76.00
    Movie: “Texas Chain Saw Massacre”…………….. 9.00
    Ugg Boots (Size 12c)……………………………….. 113.00
    Purell (2 Gal Hand Pump)………………………….. 42.00

39. 39
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    4 Rolls: Goldman Sachs Logo Toilet Paper….. 24.00
    I can score these for free at Geihtner’s office

40. 40
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 6:31 PM

    @33 Not sure what school you’re referring to. The kind where people play Magic the Gathering all day and geek out on pseudo-intellectual bullshit? If so, yeah I’m too cool for that. Keep riding the short bus with the Code-man! Fucking loser.

41. 41
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 6:39 PM

    Way to needlessly fill up space in the NYT with someone who needlessly fills up space on TV. Who likes this fucking guy? I think a large percentage of the viewers for Happy Hour are vegetables in hospital beds. Who the hell watches voluntarily? It’s dated analysis from three half-wits.

42. 42
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    I have but one ball, and it’s in the air!

43. 43
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    Damn, Rebecca stood me up again!

44. 44
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    Nice blouse, jerk

45. 45
    Posted by guest | July 20, 2009 at 10:22 PM

    ..and through a tiny white hole in the space time continuum, god’s voice boomed throughout the bar, “Nice haircut, buttfuck.”

46. 46
    Posted by rymu | July 20, 2009 at 11:28 PM

    And you all thought it was strange that Cody shits pancakes….

47. 47
    Posted by guest | July 21, 2009 at 4:55 AM

    @37
    what the fuck is that supposed to mean gaylord?

48. 48
    Posted by Seaman Bodine II | July 21, 2009 at 6:34 AM

    reality bites dude

49. 49
    Posted by guest | July 21, 2009 at 8:19 AM

    Finally an answer for – “Who’s that douche with the hair sitting next to Rebecca (nee) Gomez’s chest?”

50. 50
    Posted by guest | July 21, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    World’s largest vagina goes beyond simply shooting out ping-pong balls. This could be the newest Coney Island attraction!