So, we weren’t going to delve into this one, given the touchy subject matter, but in honor Michael Jackson’s funeral, we’re giving ourselves a free pass. In his latest letter to investors, the Pope notes that though there is something of a gray area when it comes to the fucking of children, he and his team draw the line at mismanagement of capital. Benedict went on to suggest that there is a circle of hell waiting for those who commit sins in the financial arena. You people will be there, burning, while he and his friends enjoy the view from up in heaven, as they tap that underage ass.
[The Pope] criticized the current economic system, “where the pernicious effects of sin are evident,” and urged financiers in particular to “rediscover the genuinely ethical foundation of their activity.”
He also called for “greater social responsibility” on the part of business. “Once profit becomes the exclusive goal, if it is produced by improper means and without the common good as its ultimate end, it risks destroying wealth and creating poverty,” Benedict wrote in his new encyclical, which the Vatican released on Tuesday.
In the encyclical, Benedict wrote that “financiers must rediscover the genuinely ethical foundation of their activity, so as not to abuse the sophisticated instruments which can serve to betray the interests of savers.”
Take that, Jessica.
oh, you went there.
I went to Catholic high school and was fondled extensively by the priests during study hall.
-Dennis Neale
“Body Of Christ Capital”
nice
Dennis @3 we know
Seriously, did EP leave DB?
Sorry, none of this applies to my conniving, pasty white ass.
-M.O.T
Not taking advice from anyone wearing that hat.
@6 yes, find her reincarnated as marla, posting equally unfunny shit.
Bess, you crossed the line on this one.
where can I get myself that fabulous hat?
-ken lewis
Bess that was really creative. You remind of that retard Charlie Gasbag. Do you drink and get sweaty drunk at Elaine’s?
what a sanctimonious prick. would make a great hedge fund manager.
stop lying dennis, you weren’t pretty enough
I say it every Twelth, but quite frankly – Fuck the Pope.
looks like we’ve got a catholic@12.
12 = Benedict XVI
blow me, 12.
Take notes gregory. Well done Bess. Can’t talk about people being bad when you sanction going after little boy pussy.
@19 was the phrase “little boy pussy” really necessary?
I mismanage(d) capital AND (currently) fuck underage boys. Do the two cancel each other out? Inquiring minds want to know.
–j. cayne
“social responsibility”
that’s original coming from the original HY
Isn’t the guy in the gay red hat a Madame I saw in “Tales of the City”??? Wasn’t his name “Mother Mucca”???
And for the price of an ‘indulgence’ absolution can be yours…
@22 he wasn’t the “original” HY, just one of a bunch.
Is it a sin for me to stare at the breasts of our 19 year old intern just before pounding her in the ass?
holy shit@22 bravo
why is it always cool these days to make fun of catholics? if you said something about jews blowing up muslims or some other stereotype that would be an outrage. catholics? have at it. boo hiss
@27
Everyone’s a target when it has comedic value.
Just Sayin’
@27 there’s a least one comment on the site daily about someone (usually prince alwaleed) blowing a goat.
Bess:
This is unfair. You should not blame all priests for the actions of a few. Less than 80% of priests molested boys.
The others were busy basing their 21st century lives on the insane mistranslated ramblings of an ignorant third world peasant.
@27 bess offends jews all the time. don’t get your catholic labia in a bunch.
@27
You must be new here, champ.
Just a law of large numbers thing, give it enough time/comments/posts and you’ll see pretty much everyone get bashed. Thats just how we roll, apparently.
Anyone know the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
@AB “an ignorant third world peasant”
jesus?
@33 what?
Acne doesn’t come on a boy’s face until he’s a teenager
@31/32 But why do all my funny comments get deleted?
-Ex HY Member
@27 here. not a catholic myself but it’s the new norm to make fun of the middle class, christian white guy. the prior majority has become the minority.
I hope that hat came with a bowl of soup.
-Wildcard bitches!
@38 because you guys are fucking hilarious. Think about it.
@38 what the hell are you talking about, “new”? catholics have been up for grabs for years.
AB,
You slay me.
-LA
@36 you are sick
#8 and #11 best comments. red-hat-ratzi is the new haute couture apostle.
Body of Christ Capital had no problem raising seed money.
Connor: The rule of thumb here is…
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Can’t do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?
Nazis
We need to end tax deductions for churches. As rational human being, I oppose tax subsidized pedophilia
AB, he was a gainfully employed carpenter not the original david blaine like moses.
jokes, jokes.
@27/38
because middle class christian white guys largely lack a sense of humor, as you have proved.
now im all pumped for glenn becks new comedy tour.
I liked these guys better when they sold indulgences i.e. calls on Heaven REIT equities
screw you bitches jesus is my co-pilot, hell, he promised me steady 12% returns although sometimes i suspect he is frontrunning..
I am really scared of that hat.
…and on the 8th day God created the 2/20
I said, get a job sparkling wiggle!
The catholic church can judge anyone… LOL… between sex scandals, child abuse and a Pope who is a former Nazi (Hitler Youth, TRUTH)… Throw in Magdaline Convents (prisons) which promoted slave labor throughout the world, as well as abuses too Evil to mention here against “wayward” young women, of which the last was closed in 1998 (yes John Paul “the Saint” was aware of this slave trade and abuse) they are batting 1000. the Catholic Church should be disbanded… As a former Hitler Youth, although perhaps repentant and a different man today he should have recused himself from the running… that’s what a REAL man of God would have done… they are a biggoted bunch, who promote racism of the worst sort and STILL give total absolution and total Confidentiality to the Mafia (good Catholics ALL of them)… of course as long as the donations keep pouring in… Good Luck World!
The catholic church can judge anyone… LOL… between sex scandals, child abuse and a Pope who is a former Nazi (Hitler Youth, TRUTH)… Throw in Magdaline Convents (prisons) which promoted slave labor throughout the world, as well as abuses too Evil to mention here against “wayward” young women, of which the last was closed in 1998 (yes John Paul “the Saint” was aware of this slave trade and abuse) they are batting 1000. the Catholic Church should be disbanded… As a former Hitler Youth, although perhaps repentant and a different man today he should have recused himself from the running… that’s what a REAL man of God would have done… they are a biggotted bunch, who promote racism of the worst sort and STILL give total absolution and total Confidentiality to the Mafia (good Catholics ALL of them)… of course as long as the donations keep pouring in… Good Luck World!
The catholic church can judge anyone… LOL… between sex scandals, child abuse and a Pope who is a former Nazi (Hitler Youth, TRUTH)… Throw in Magdaline Convents (prisons) which promoted slave labor throughout the world, as well as abuses too Evil to mention here against “wayward” young women, of which the last was closed in 1998 (yes John Paul “the Saint” was aware of this slave trade and abuse) they are batting 1000. the Catholic Church should be disbanded… As a former Hitler Youth, although perhaps repentant and a different man today he should have recused himself from the running… that’s what a REAL man of God would have done… they are a biggotted bunch, who promote racism of the worst sort and STILL give total absolution and total Confidentiality to the Mafia (good Catholics ALL of them)… of course as long as the donations keep pouring in… Good Luck World!
The catholic church can judge anyone… LOL… between sex scandals, child abuse and a Pope who is a former Nazi (Hitler Youth, TRUTH)… Throw in Magdaline Sisters Convents (prisons) which promoted slave labor throughout the world, as well as abuses too Evil to mention here against “wayward” young women, of which the last was closed in 1998 (yes John Paul “the Saint” was aware of this slave trade and abuse) they are batting 1000. the Catholic Church should be disbanded… As a former Hitler Youth, although perhaps repentant and a different man today he should have recused himself from the running… that’s what a REAL man of God would have done… they are a biggotted bunch, who promote racism of the worst sort and STILL give total absolution and total Confidentiality to the Mafia (good Catholics ALL of them)… of course as long as the donations keep pouring in… Good Luck World!
The catholic church can judge anyone… LOL… between sex scandals, child abuse and a Pope who is a former Nazi (Hitler Youth, TRUTH)… Throw in Magdaline Sisters Convents (prisons) which promoted slave labor throughout the world, as well as abuses too Evil to mention here against “wayward” young women, of which the last was closed in 1998 (yes John Paul “the Saint” was aware of this slave trade and abuse) they are batting 1000. the Catholic Church should be disbanded… As a former Hitler Youth, although perhaps repentant and a different man today he should have recused himself from the running… that’s what a REAL man of God would have done… they are a biggotted bunch, who promote racism of the worst sort and STILL give total absolution and total Confidentiality to the Mafia (good Catholics ALL of them)… of course as long as the donations keep pouring in… Good Luck World!
Greg
55-59
you opened my eyes, can you post one more time?
Why is it that Catholics are always being elected Pope?? Isn’t it time for a Methodist or a Baptist?? I mean, come on!!! Almost 2000 years of Catholics continually elected as Pope? I asked our quants about that and even they didn’t have an answer for me.
55-59, as someone who has been posting here as “guest” for about three years, I am offended that you presume to give yourself a name
That pic shows you why God loves Texas more than other states.
62,
Tell them to run the numbers a few more times.
God failed with those multiple posts … I’ll be drinking the holy water tonight, b1tches!
All your boys are belong to us.
Ratzinger (the POPE) is a Sinner, a unforgiveable sinner, as a former Hitler Youth, a NAZI, as well as his family and friends… ALL who were directly responsible for the extermination of millions of innocent people… 6 MILLION JEWS… But also LOTS of others… He is a Sinner… remove him and replace him first, then we can talk about the legitimacy of ANY Catholic position or point of view regarding ANYTHING, let alone “heaven and Hell” issues… and what of that recent “brillant” Bishop who said that the Holocaust never happened????… Such an intelligent, wise and educated bunch!!! It is not such a proud thing to be a catholic these days… i know more catholics with horror stories about their “Catholic” upbringings than anything else… Wow…
@59
who told you all this, the madoff bro’s?
they are jews you know…
The Madoff Brothers told me Everything…. LOL you are too funny… xo
55-59 / 68
you must be related to TGFD, my guess is you have the same mother but different father’s, which are brothers and nephews of your mother.
@25 sweet! One of the biggest cults on earth, the church is! Make sure you tithe, they have a shitload more lawsuits in the wings and will need the cash. Not enough to be tax exempt? But, make sure you attend mass. Where in the fuck is my old flame wideclops? @55 -59, only press enter once!
Sorry about the multiple post computer mess up… Sincerely sorry…
@68 has a point. I work with a bunch of Italian guys and to hear their catholic priest horror stories as they were being brought up makes my crappy childhood seem all the more palatable.
I mean, Wow … the priest coming round to the house to physically [not figuratively] kick your ass in front of you parents because you sinned? No wonder they’re such a scary bunch a guys …
What are the first year altar boy numbers?
@73
fuck you computer mess up, you just clicked the post comment button too many times.
73 – god sees everything and he sees that you are lying
I went to a Jesuit high school – they beat the shit out of us with goalie sticks (hockey), with the ends cut. You can’t fuck these guys over enough.
Seriously, the dude that was banging Anne Hathaway and defrauding Rome – that’s the permanent killing it.
They pass those red hats out at all the NAMBLA meetings, at least that is what I have heard.
Half Cuomo
One of my favorite jokes ends with the punchline, “Why don’t you spit on it like the monks do?”
billionbux: Stop saying LOL.
DB Moderators: I did not become a “guest” of this site to have my religion besmirched. I am deeply offended by all these sordid hearsay tales of Catholic inappropriateness and want them all taken off the board. (The towelhead, Red Sea pedestrian, spear chucker, greaser and chink stories can stay.)
Why did Michael Jackson shop at K-Mart?
He heard little boy’s pants were half off.
@80…..I get your drift. One of my favorite Catholic jokes ends with this punchline:
“The man on the beach leans over, looks around and whispers to the Genie, “Well for a Catholic priest with a small parish I’m not doing so bad!”
@55-59- Having computer problems, are we?
@85 he uses a Mac. Just like Tax Chick.
The only time a Mac user asks about Trojans is on Saturday at the football game and later if anyone has one they can spare ’cause the girl didn’t bring one with her.
Catholic leaders want Catholicism to be talked about. The told us that at Jesuit high school. If you see the Virgin Mary in a piece of raisin bread, that’s fine. If your herpes is cured, that brings discussion. If the heathens in the Amazon walk around with monkey heads on their schmeckels, that’s OK…it leads to discussion of the faith. They believe that there is no such thing as bad publicity because it brings discussion of the faith which brings donations. And, they serve beer and wine at PTA meetings.
@87
i know thats you Pete. is Corp starting this fall?
Funniest effing post ever.
I gaver up Catholocism after the knee surgery. The other faiths don’t make you kneel! No looking back. Never took one from a priest, nor have I ever given it to a nun.
33 – precious.
I am sooo effing tired of Michael Jackson. Guy represented most everything that is wrong with society. What kind of d-bags hang out outside the Staples Center for that?!
@90- “most everything wrong with society”? really? besides the possible child molestation, what else?
“Never took one from a priest, nor have I ever given it to a nun. ”
who you trying to convince?
I’ll ask one more time: where can I get that fabulous hat?
-k lewis
“as they tap that underage ass”
bess, you’re going to hell.
Bess,
Don’t ever change.
Guest
Greg has a hard time distinguishing between good touching and bad touching.
Greg’s mother
Bess must have a Catholic boyfriend.
@97 totally, you must have had to date a catholic to know the thing about them fucking boys.
/sarcasm
@72 “One of the biggest cults on earth, the church is!”
were you on the sopranos?
I think this is in your top 5, Bess.
I am not Catholic.
What’s the problem? In heaven all the ass is legal. But for a rich man to get there is harder than fucking a camel.
Turn the other cheek y’all
I am glad I am not you. I pray for your soul
@101 = gaspo. possibly 103 as well.
Amen Amen! When you called Democrats socialists several weeks ago, I asked the right-wing Bible toters if Jesus would be a socialist or a free-marketer. Amen, I say to you, this encyclical provides much clarity. Defame my Catholic brethren all you want- it is natural to slay the messenger. Peace be unto you!
crazy@105 step away from the computer.
Encyclical’s are meant to be read by Catholics. They are not meant to be made fun of. They are serious sentiments from an infallible Pope. You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
@107 and, yet, somehow it ended up in the NYT.
Catholicism is a cult. Making fun of cults is fun.
@27 et al,
To the “why y’all picking on Catholics all the time buuhuhhuuu” crowd. The hypocrisy of the Catholics given the centuries of proven sexual abuse of children and the “leadership’s” failure to deal with the perpetrators makes any statement from them about what is or isn’t morally correct absolutely laughable.
If you don’t get that, you are a fucking moron….and don’t try to change the subject by bringing up Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Dick Clark fans, etc
@107 infallible huh? And here i thought Catholics read the B-i-b-l-e when they weren’t washing the blood off the clown suit or going meatless on Fridays. Peep the New Testament sometime, it pretty much calls the Pope David Koresh.
Bess, definitely an addition to your All-Time Hits List.
107 is a Nigerian that abhors latex and/or sheep’s skin.
AIDS is the new killing it.
-INRI
Raised catholic, not anymore, I recently found out that the church I used to go to bumped up the ages for all the sacraments, cause you gotta get’em while they’re young
Three words, for all you old-time cartoon loving lapsed-Catholics, like myself:
Simon. Bar. Sinister.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/82/SimonBarSinister.jpg)
A stunning resemblance, if you ask me.
(minus the gay hat, that is, and the fake infallibility)
Porker… the brackets around the URL were to make it harder to click the link?
explain …
– Snake Plissken
Those aren’t brackets, those are parentheses…
check out the big brain on Brad!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bracket
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrm-rPSCIBw
i guess the pedeophiles will be next to you money grubbing financial guys
If he thinks it’s bad now, just wait until “PORN: The Business of Pleaseure” is aired on CNBC. I’m just thinkin’ out loud here, but it may – just may – be more popular than Marijuana Inc. or Dirty Money…..
@49: Not to go all Liturgical on you, but Beck’s a Mormon…he thinks he’s a Christian, but most Christians would dispute that…
After you attend his comedy tour, write back to let us all know how many IQ points you lost.
some people are so funny.
when Confucius said:
“In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.”
praises rains. but when the catholic speaks, its a complete joke, even its the same idea in different explanation. some laugh and even makes fun of the person.
i pity you and forgive your pitiful ignorances.
pretty unfair dont you think.
[...] most of you probably know, Pope Benedict XVI is not just a spiritual adviser but a financial adviser as well. Last year in a letter to clients he noted that while there is something of a gray area when it [...]
[...] most of you probably know, Pope Benedict XVI is not just a spiritual adviser but a financial adviser as well. Last year in a letter to clients he noted that while there is something of a gray area when it [...]