Earlier this afternoon on a Closing Bell segment, Charlie Gasparino reported that UBS is considering, among others, Sallie Krawcheck, Bob McCann, and James Gorman for head of US Wealth Management. He did the hit over the phone, since, as you all know, the big man's been in Vegas for the better part of a week. At one point, Charlie seemed flummoxed and we wondered if we had another "what you got" situation on our hands. So, we placed a call to CG, who cleared the air. Let's just say there's a young male in the desert who should strongly consider watching his back.
His voice shaking and clearly shook up, Chaz told us that prior to the segment, he'd just gotten back from a six mile run, and "wanted to take a whirlpool." So he went on down to the spa area at the Bellagio, where he's staying, and tucked in for a soak. Ten minutes into the R&R sesh, Gaspo gets a tip about UBS, and calls into CNBC to let them know. Everything's going fine, he's reporting his shit, when all of a sudden "a towel boy comes out of nowhere and starts screaming at me." What was he saying, we asked Chazpo. "Sir, there are no phones allowed here. Get off the phone immediately, sir!" the boy screamed at CG. Startled, Charlie made a move to get out the tub, but apparently wasn't moving fast enough. "All of a sudden, this kid's on my ass," he told us. "This fuckin' guy chases me out, into the lobby-- I barely had time to put my robe on!" It was essentially a really traumatizing experience. CG's okay now, but we'd suggest towel boy do himself a favor and get out of town.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:28PM
Too bizarre to be false.
CG running half-naked through the lobby = stuff nightmares (or Bess's dreams) are made of.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:30PM
I call bullshit. No fucking way he ran 6 miles in Vegas. It's 104 degrees.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:30PM
this guy is the biggest fuckin guniea on the planet.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:30PM
perfect end to the week.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:31PM
Only the Gasbag baby
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:31PM
2- Dat's nuttin' fer Charlie. I betcha he did dat little run wit ankle weights on, and den hit da gym for 50 pullups.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 10, 2009 4:33PM
Charlie we need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
-NakedShort
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:35PM
Maybe the heat's getting to him--that speculation is a week old already, no need to break in Charlie...carry on hot-tubbing.
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Jul 10, 2009 4:36PM
Chaz is the kind of paesan' that makes me cringe and want to change my surname to something brief and WASPy...
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:37PM
this is why I read DB.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:37PM
@2, 6, sources close to the source tell me CG ran the entire six miles in under 30 carrying LK piggy-back style.
and he DID NOT TOUCH the sopressata at the Bellagio, write that down.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:37PM
I want this to be true. I really, really want this to be true.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:38PM
@11 good memory
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:38PM
Ah yes... "this kid's on my ass". For all of you ESLs out there, he meant that literally.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:39PM
That is pretty average for Chazzy. He loves to massacre his quads and hammys in the desert heat.
Posted by Bess Levin , Jul 10, 2009 4:39PM
@12 It is.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:41PM
And that kid never noticed Larry underwater. All those deep breathing exercises really do help.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:42PM
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:30PM
I call bullshit. No fucking way he ran 6 miles in Vegas. It's 104 degrees.
http://promotehealth.info/wp-content/uploads/treadmill.gif
Fucking retard.
-CGizzle
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:42PM
Account: Gasparino, Charles
Credit Card: Visa ending in "2245"
Date: 071009
Room:...........................$325.00
State Tax....................... 26.82
City Tax........................ 8.12
Gambling Tax............... 2.00
SERVICES
Concierge..................... 25.00
Missing Robe................ 45.00
Settlement: Towel Boy.. 500.00
Sauna: Hair Removal.... 125.00
Sauna: Skim off "AXE".. 95.00
Room Service
Dayglo Red Swim Cap... 15.00
Mermaid Floaties (2)..... 10.00
Nose Plugs................... 5.00
Flesh Color Snorkel...... 10.00
Bodybuild Poser Book.. 15.00
Michael Phelps Goggles 22.00
Meatball Sandwich....... 8.75
Rulebook for Marco/Polo 4.00
Limo to BunnyRanch...... 325.00
BunnyRanch Cancel Fee... 100.00
"Scream Mask" (1)........... 25.00
Air Force Amy Magazine.. 25.00
Cornhuskers Lotion......... 9.00
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:42PM
He is such a god damn jabroni and I love him for it.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:45PM
19,
Dayglo Red Swim Cap... 15.00
Flesh Color Snorkel...... 10.00
Meatball Sandwich....... 8.75
"Scream Mask" (1)........... 25.00
Well done.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:48PM
@19 I like your style.
-K Powers
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:51PM
Disappointing. The Gasparino in my mind would've head-butted the attendant with his junk hanging out while phoning in his scoop without missing a beat.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:53PM
@23 I'm a gentleman.
-CG
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:54PM
19 is a professional player.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:56PM
@19
Very nice!
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:03PM
Hi @2 it's me treadmill please get off your fat ass and use me sometime
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:05PM
The hotel that CG is staying at has the same name as an oral sex act? WTF?!? Wasn't Clinton accused of having bellagio in the White House?? Jeez!!!
~Citi first year
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:07PM
@18 - Dickweed, you ever stay at the Bellagio? The gym and the spa area are one and the same.
...he'd just gotten back from a six mile run, and "wanted to take a whirlpool." So he went on DOWN TO THE SPA AREA at the Bellagio...
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:10PM
Your logic is flawed, 29. I ran on a fucking treadmill...not up and down the strip. Don't make me beat your face with a salami.
-CGizzle
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:14PM
@29 This is rich. CG claiming someone has flawed logic.
Kind of like LD telling me I have money management problems.
It's called projection.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:14PM
@30 This is rich. CG claiming someone has flawed logic.
Kind of like LD telling me I have money management problems.
It's called projection.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:16PM
@19 FTW
This week the comments seem very, very eloquent and witty, be it Gaspo's itemized receipt, LS's skin folds or demands for a finger wrapped in today's paper, or what Amanda Drury's high collar says.
So much more fun that writing about how Dennis Kneale molests collies.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:23PM
I pounded 33's secretary in the ass, eloquently.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 5:36PM
"Texas Hold 'em" is a poker game that is not played underwater in a sauna. Just sayin'.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 6:48PM
god damn it Levin this made my Friday.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 7:09PM
@2 there's gyms for a reason, dumbass.
Posted by bateman , Jul 10, 2009 7:27PM
using your cellphone in the bellagio spa is the new killing it.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 8:57PM
Is this fleshbot or dealbreaker? I can't tell anymore...
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:55PM
@19 FTW all-time. Funniest Post I have ever read here
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2009 12:46AM
@39- really? you're that big of a prude that this post is the equivalent of pornography for you?
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2009 6:59AM
I would have expected for the gasman to beat the crap of the towel boy right there, not to run away. So I say that towel boy has nothing to be afraid of.
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2009 10:22AM
I wonder where he got the "tip about UBS"?
The story's a week old.
http://www.businessinsider.com/will-ubs-tap-bob-mccann-or-sallie-krawcheck-for-top-wealth-management-job-2009-7
Posted by guest , Jul 12, 2009 3:42AM
41 - I am commenting on the rationing of topic coverage, period. Read the post again.
My view is... If you want full on porn hit f'bot, if you want finance issues hit d'brkr. Let's be focused here... If Bess & Co. want to go hard core, then lube up or shut up and stop the soft core tease... Dbrkr is like a mullet right now - business up front / party in the rear...
Has the talent level on this site sunk so low that the discernment of a simple sentence is a task too great? Prude, ha...
=39
Posted by guest , Jul 12, 2009 10:40AM
@44 yeah but no. has your brain count sunk so low that you couldn't see that this was a post about CG the Jabroni, fashioning himself a "wall street reporter," when in reality he's calling in to cnbc from a whirlpool, and getting kicked out by the staff?
also: "Dbrkr is like a mullet right now - business up front / party in the rear..."
um, that's how DB's been since the start. always. if you don't get that, you're clearly new here, so feel free to leave.
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2009 1:37PM
that's right bitches! reported here first!
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2009 1:42PM
"did you hear I was reporting from the sauna after taking a whirlpool? reported first on dealbreaker."
chaz gaspo, 1:35PM