As was previously expected, the House of Dimon has begun raising base pay for investment bankers, just like everyone else, in move that won't really mean anything re: more clams in your pocket. First years were informed yesterday they're being bumped up to $80k. No word yet on bonus numbers, which were supposed to be announced last Tuesday. It's unclear why Dimon and Steve Black have been dragging their heels on this one, but they should know there are some junior rainmakers out there who are not happy. They won't technically be doing anything about it, but there will be be pissing and moaning amongst themselves. Oh, there will be P 'n M'ing amongst themselves.
Comp Watch '09: JPMorgan
Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 08, 2009, 10:29am
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Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:36AM
just for the complaining, all of your asses are getting pounded. report to the lobby of 277 park at noon.
-JD
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:39AM
383 for some of you.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:40AM
"junior rainmakers..".......Uh huh....yep.....sure.
PS: Enjoyed the BC comics related currency description of "clams".
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:40AM
Oh you're not happy about the delay? Go fuck yourselves.
-JD
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:41AM
That would make a great gay porn scenario. It touches a lot of the usual themes: fresh faced young boys, suits, hazing, ass pounding.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:42AM
@4 did you not get the sarcasm inherent in calling them junior rainmakers? oh, you didn't? is it cause you're a re-tard?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:46AM
""junior rainmakers..".......Uh huh....yep.....sure."
report to the short bus, 4.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:48AM
everyone here can blow me.
-j dimon
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:48AM
Why do they get bonus numbers now? What happens if Barney and Maxine go on a tear in the remaining six months and pass legislation barring that even though they have repaid TARP?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:49AM
@9 b/c this is when first year bank analysts get them. next question.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:50AM
what are first year pothead CEO emeritus numbers?
-jimmy cayne
Posted by wcburrs87 , Jul 08, 2009 10:52AM
Sweet - I can finally move out of the Metro and into Windsor Court!
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 11:00AM
@9 analysts are paid on the anniversary of their start (approximately).
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 11:01AM
@10 why doesn't anyone seem to know this?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 11:10AM
@14 - or care?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 11:17AM
At least they don't work for RBS. Last year's bonus was a tank full of Mexican Coke Sharks.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 11:18AM
@6 and @7.......Jeff Macke?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 12:47PM
1st yr numbers
Top tier - Chase 0% APR balance transfer checks (3 total)
Mid tier - WaMu..I mean Chase free checking account
Bottom tier - forced relocation to Dallas
Posted by Clown Capital , Jul 08, 2009 12:51PM
Comp watch at The House of Dimon.
Brings back fond memories. If my memory serves me correctly, I distinctly remember hearing these wonderful words...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDW0ZnZxjn4&feature=related
Which is why I eventually left.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 1:17PM
@16, they received Mexicans, not Mexican coke sharks. Big difference.
See you bags at Tenjune.
-MCS
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 1:40PM
paying analysts more! why didn't we think of this sooner? this will solve all of our problems!
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 1:58PM
What is the real reason that they're raising analyst pay? I don't think any analysts would leave JPM or GS if their base pay was $70k.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 2:00PM
@22 because the bonsues won't be as big, genius.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 2:34PM
Should we expect BofA and Citi to follow suit?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 3:00PM
@23 why wouldn't you simply pay them less?
It's not like there is a ton of good jobs for college grads...
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 3:13PM
Steve Black speaking to interns at 4...WHO'S GOT A QUESTION?
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 3:39PM
Anyone know what bonuses are for jpmc sap integration staff? Also raises...
-Taj
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 3:39PM
Anyone know what bonuses are for jpmc sap integration staff? Also raises...
-Taj
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 4:24PM
22 "GS or JPM" implies that rank similarly in the employer of choice heirarchy. No way.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 4:34PM
@25 you bump them to $80k, an extra $10k now, cut their intended bonuses by $15k, cognitive dissonance for first year junior rainmakers rationalizes this as okay, pocket the extra $5k per analyst. Then, next year, pay them $20k less than you would have originally and point to the $80k salary as justification.
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 5:19PM
"They won't technically be doing anything about it, but there will be be pissing and moaning amongst themselves."
...so, so true...
Posted by guest , Jul 08, 2009 10:13PM
Does anyone know if Analysts in Asset Management got the bump as well?