• 27 Jul 2009 at 4:56 PM

Do Not Trust FedEx To Ship Your Massive Amounts Of Weed

By Bess Levin

Picture 1817.pngYou try and send 14 pounds of weed in the mail and what happens? The bastards at FedEx stick their noses where they don’t belong and rat you out to the cops. You’d think that they wouldn’t be too good for any sort of business, be it drug-related or otherwise but apparently you’d think wrong. For future reference, move your shit with UPS, which will collect a finder’s fee but get the job done without calling attention.

Comments (40)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    fucking fedex.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:03 PM

    Quite un-American…..

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:04 PM

    @2 what? smoking dope?

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:06 PM

    The 4 C’s always work…um so I am told…so I am told.
    Car(rental)
    Cousin (Bilingual preferred)
    Cash (Sometimes as little as 10%)
    Corona (case or two)

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:06 PM

    The shipper obviously didn’t know that you need to pack the brick in coffee.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:09 PM

    FedEx is the new mexican laser coke shark

  7. 7
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 27, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Wtf does this have to do about jack sh*t besides some of “our” recreational proclivities and those of several prominent industry characters?

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    Herbs.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    @7 it’s called news you can use.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    anal_yst, sounds like you could use a good chill session.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    Not to quibble, but in New Canaan we don’t consider 14 pounds to be a “massive amount”. Yeah, that’s how we roll

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:30 PM

    get in my belly.
    -jc

  13. 13
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 27, 2009 at 5:34 PM

    @7
    1. pick up free-ish beater car (local classifieds, CL, etc)
    2. pack car with “product”
    3. hire random person to drive your “car” cross-country.
    4. Despose of the evidence (etc)
    5. $$$

  14. 14
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 27, 2009 at 5:37 PM

    @10
    That’s quite an understatement, clearly…

  15. 15
    Posted by trojan | July 27, 2009 at 5:39 PM

    circuit judge i used to know told an interesting story about a ring of guys ups-ing llello to BSD’s in the financial district. nypd busted the traffickers. DA sent a bunch of mules upstate for a long time. funny thing was, all the BSD’s who were witnessed receiving the columbian candy were simply sent a letter from the DA’s office that told them how cocaine was an illegal substance, and how they could be arrested for using it.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:42 PM

    when did dealbreaker become Fark?

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    @16 yes, db never posts on stuff tangentially related to finance, and NEVER drugs, ever. also, it’s late in the day. why do you begrudge people a little something to lighten the mood?

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:49 PM

    @15 “a friend of mine” received a similar letter but also stated that they had the option of picking up the items.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 5:51 PM

    Revised hours for the New Canaan store: now closing at 4:20
    Ralph ordered the package as research for his new Jeff Spicoli-inspired RL Poncho.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:05 PM

    UBS would have made that sh*t happen…

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:10 PM

    I second @11. In Calif. the cops don’t bother with 14 lbs as it’s deemed small enough for personal use.

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:11 PM

    @22 ubs or ups?

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:12 PM

    Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
    The Dude

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:16 PM

    @17 what is there to lighten the mood about the fucking pigs seizing a 14 pound brick. that is a huge downer if you ask me.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:23 PM

    @12 – good one.
    14lbs of herb equals about a 6-mcgriddle run for the big jc

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 6:25 PM

    @25 what are you following me?
    -jc

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 8:07 PM

    God…if you listenin’…HELP!!!!

  28. 28
    Posted by HAM05 | July 27, 2009 at 8:15 PM

    this just gets a huge effing rawr – if you cant trust the post carriers to keep things dl then who can you trust. WHO CAN WE TRUST LEVIN???

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | July 27, 2009 at 10:18 PM

    13 no no no you got it all wrong- you need a “flusher” car to drive 110 mph ahead of you and tie up the fuzz while you roll past at 55 and pay the speeding tickets later. Oh, and stay off 95 fer chrissakes.
    Jesus people- how did you get through boarding school/college?

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 2:04 AM

    too high, didn’t read.

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 3:41 AM

    UBS would have gotten one of their private bankers to deliver the dope to your door. Be it inside tubes of toothpaste or inside a teddy bear.
    By the way, is Raoul W. still a fugitive and on the run?

  32. 32
    Posted by Chuck Krug | July 28, 2009 at 6:04 AM

    @31
    Do you want some blood diamonds with your dope?

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 8:16 AM

    US Postal Service should have been called in to handle such a sensetive delivery.

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 8:43 AM

    glen cove police dept, open da daw.

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    two words,vacuum seal… Amateurs

  36. 36
    Posted by EvilBuzzard | July 28, 2009 at 8:56 AM

    They want you to bake it into brownies. Then FedEx can make 5 timesw as much money shipping those…

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 9:03 AM

    street value of 14 lbs= ?
    funny column though, thanks for the laugh. Get back to work.

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million – five grand… I’ll go out and mingle.

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | July 28, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million – five grand… I’ll go out and mingle.

  40. 40
    Posted by Red | December 5, 2010 at 11:20 PM

    Call Sami Chartouni NYC he is a major east west trafficer and can tell you how they all work. Tiny T runs it all.

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