You try and send 14 pounds of weed in the mail and what happens? The bastards at FedEx stick their noses where they don't belong and rat you out to the cops. You'd think that they wouldn't be too good for any sort of business, be it drug-related or otherwise but apparently you'd think wrong. For future reference, move your shit with UPS, which will collect a finder's fee but get the job done without calling attention.
Do Not Trust FedEx To Ship Your Massive Amounts Of Weed
Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 27, 2009, 4:56pm
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Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:02PM
fucking fedex.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:03PM
Quite un-American.....
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:04PM
@2 what? smoking dope?
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:06PM
The 4 C's always work...um so I am told...so I am told.
Car(rental)
Cousin (Bilingual preferred)
Cash (Sometimes as little as 10%)
Corona (case or two)
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:06PM
The shipper obviously didn't know that you need to pack the brick in coffee.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:09PM
FedEx is the new mexican laser coke shark
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 27, 2009 5:16PM
Wtf does this have to do about jack sh*t besides some of "our" recreational proclivities and those of several prominent industry characters?
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:23PM
Herbs.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:23PM
@7 it's called news you can use.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:26PM
anal_yst, sounds like you could use a good chill session.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:28PM
Not to quibble, but in New Canaan we don't consider 14 pounds to be a "massive amount". Yeah, that's how we roll
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:30PM
get in my belly.
-jc
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 27, 2009 5:34PM
@7
1. pick up free-ish beater car (local classifieds, CL, etc)
2. pack car with "product"
3. hire random person to drive your "car" cross-country.
4. Despose of the evidence (etc)
5. $$$
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 27, 2009 5:37PM
@10
That's quite an understatement, clearly...
Posted by trojan , Jul 27, 2009 5:39PM
circuit judge i used to know told an interesting story about a ring of guys ups-ing llello to BSD's in the financial district. nypd busted the traffickers. DA sent a bunch of mules upstate for a long time. funny thing was, all the BSD's who were witnessed receiving the columbian candy were simply sent a letter from the DA's office that told them how cocaine was an illegal substance, and how they could be arrested for using it.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:42PM
when did dealbreaker become Fark?
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:45PM
@16 yes, db never posts on stuff tangentially related to finance, and NEVER drugs, ever. also, it's late in the day. why do you begrudge people a little something to lighten the mood?
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:49PM
@15 "a friend of mine" received a similar letter but also stated that they had the option of picking up the items.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 5:51PM
Revised hours for the New Canaan store: now closing at 4:20
Ralph ordered the package as research for his new Jeff Spicoli-inspired RL Poncho.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:05PM
UBS would have made that sh*t happen...
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:10PM
I second @11. In Calif. the cops don't bother with 14 lbs as it's deemed small enough for personal use.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:11PM
@22 ubs or ups?
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:12PM
Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
The Dude
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:16PM
@17 what is there to lighten the mood about the fucking pigs seizing a 14 pound brick. that is a huge downer if you ask me.
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:23PM
@12 - good one.
14lbs of herb equals about a 6-mcgriddle run for the big jc
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 6:25PM
@25 what are you following me?
-jc
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 8:07PM
God...if you listenin'...HELP!!!!
Posted by HAM05 , Jul 27, 2009 8:15PM
this just gets a huge effing rawr - if you cant trust the post carriers to keep things dl then who can you trust. WHO CAN WE TRUST LEVIN???
Posted by guest , Jul 27, 2009 10:18PM
13 no no no you got it all wrong- you need a "flusher" car to drive 110 mph ahead of you and tie up the fuzz while you roll past at 55 and pay the speeding tickets later. Oh, and stay off 95 fer chrissakes.
Jesus people- how did you get through boarding school/college?
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 2:04AM
too high, didn't read.
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 3:41AM
UBS would have gotten one of their private bankers to deliver the dope to your door. Be it inside tubes of toothpaste or inside a teddy bear.
By the way, is Raoul W. still a fugitive and on the run?
Posted by Chuck Krug , Jul 28, 2009 6:04AM
@31
Do you want some blood diamonds with your dope?
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 8:16AM
US Postal Service should have been called in to handle such a sensetive delivery.
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 8:43AM
glen cove police dept, open da daw.
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 8:53AM
two words,vacuum seal... Amateurs
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Jul 28, 2009 8:56AM
They want you to bake it into brownies. Then FedEx can make 5 timesw as much money shipping those...
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 9:03AM
street value of 14 lbs= ?
funny column though, thanks for the laugh. Get back to work.
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 9:23AM
So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million - five grand... I'll go out and mingle.
Posted by guest , Jul 28, 2009 9:23AM
So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million - five grand... I'll go out and mingle.