Oh hell no.
To: DealBreakerFrom: [redacted at JPMorgan]
Subject: More FMF identity theft
I scanned the Fashion Meets Finance RVSP list for Dimonites and looked them up in the JPM phonebook (yeah, I have nothing to do). Anyway, many people are wildly overstating their positions and salaries. For example, [redacted] is not an investment manager, but rather "marketing support" (probably helps write the monthly employee newsletter) and likely doesn't make $200k-$300k as he claims. What a fraud.
What the? But you said? I thought? So...so we can't trust anything these shmucks tell us afterall?
Update:
To: DealBreakerFrom: [redacted at Goldman Sachs]
Subject: FMF identity theft Goldman edition
Bess, i scanned the Goldman directory for these FMF people. Only two people from that list actually work for the firm, both of which overstated their salaries drastically.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 2:58PM
redacted at jpm = jd
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 2:58PM
False identities, inflated salaries, and scandal? Quelle surprise.
Posted by highlyconfident , Jul 30, 2009 2:59PM
Stevie Cohen's is apparently inaccurate too - it was supposed to say A2M Instructor/ Enthusiast, not just coordinator.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:02PM
Poor fella, just trying to live the dream for a night.
DB quotes are the highlight of the work day.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:03PM
It's gonna turn out that half of these entries are undercover FBI agents and half of them are underage girls desperate for sex.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:05PM
@5 GS Team Law will be there fo sho
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:08PM
@6 yea, they have the time for it anyway b/c they are basically back office (still laughing from yesterday's quote).
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:10PM
@5 too soon
-todd genger
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 3:12PM
What sorta masochists are these people, putting their full name, "position" and firm on such a profoundly retarded event?
I mean I've done some incredibly stupid sh*t in my day, but come on kiddies, shooting yourself in the foot is no way to do it
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:14PM
Less Bevin! You're attending?!? Well now I HAVE to go...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:14PM
@9: it is a part of a grand scheme to keep the chaff interbreeding.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 3:16PM
I am pissed that my Colonal P. Tudor Jones RSVP got removed. His position: Balls Deep in KFC
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:16PM
Anal_yst - and exactly WHO are you to say whether what I do is or isn't right???? I didn't use my REAL name, for Christ's sake.
- Iffclay Assnessway
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:16PM
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:19PM
@13 his name is biff bassness. get it right. oh, and ftw.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:21PM
The second email is from Lloyd guaranteed. The "drastically overstated" is the dead giveaway.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:25PM
The Quack Quack signup made me shoot diet coke out my nose. It burns.
Too bad that signup will vanish within minutes.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:26PM
@16 i thought the same thing.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jul 30, 2009 3:30PM
Among the many Highbridge CapitAl mgmt employees on bloomberg, their "trader" "Kevin Brown" is not one of them. Shocker.
Same goes for the "Credit Analysts" at GS and Broker at MS. Though who would lie about being a broker
Holla back!(office).
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:30PM
Awww, crap. They made Bess pull out the Italicized 'Hell No.'
If you guys don't straighten up, there's gonna be some bloody stumps where your heads were...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:32PM
@16/18 I thought it was the gay British dude...von Trapp something.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:34PM
@ 21 rhymes with fag.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:35PM
@16 - he would have said "whom" and not "which".
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:36PM
@19 you are so on this case, mr. man!
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:41PM
I can haz herpes?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:43PM
Its cool ..dumb bimbettes will get what they deserve - rif rafs and scums of the street. And the back office fucktards wont have a hard time convincing the blondes that they are "bond" traders. Its all good.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:43PM
@25 if you attend this event, yes.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:48PM
I'm having WAY too much fun with the FnF signups. Something tells me I may be in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:51PM
Irwin R. Schyster is excellent.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:51PM
Anyone know when and where the HR Meets Accounting event is?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:53PM
@28 Now go play some Polka
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:55PM
@26 You are just jealous.
-007 of bond traders
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:55PM
why are they dissing advertising over on FMF?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:57PM
I'm a fan of Wayne Kerr at Handbridge. Reminds me of some of the names at www.ebolamonkeyman.com.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:08PM
@30... excellent. How true.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:08PM
Vetting Committee
"Fashion Meets Finance"
1548 Bollocks St.
New York, NY 10019
Dear Mr. Kneale, (aka "Han Delbeeker"--see attached form):
It has come to our attention that someone or persons unknown may be using your good name to obtain entry to our next "Fashion Meets Finane" sociaal gathering in August of this year. Our vetting committe would like you to peruse the following information and make your own decision re this matter. To wit:
*Applicant filled out form indicating employment at Dickweed Capital Management".
*Applicant was sloppy using written form as evidenced by meatball sandwich stains.
*Applicant left scent of "Axe Chocolate" permiating application.
*Applicant listed income in "gazillions".
*Applicant submitted obviously "ripped" Maybach magazine ad in "Automotive" part of application.
Please review this application as to whether or not it is truly yours.
Regards,
Fashion Meets Finance Applicant Vetting Committee
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:10PM
Name: Paul Walnutz
Co: Morgan Stanley
Position: Distressed Credit Recovery
They even put the picture of Paulie.
Someone should nuke that place once full.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:10PM
April Spinelli is very close to giving some upskirt action.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:12PM
Say what you will about the event, but I am really pumped to meet the "Million Dollar Man." Those that do not attend will truely miss out.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 4:20PM
@39 is he going to be escorted by his body guard Virgil?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:22PM
Where is my invitation?
--Maxine Waters
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:23PM
Harry Balzac, the Power Bottom at Strappon Harnesswesr is sure to be rejected. And deleted.
Butt funny while it lasted.
(See what I did there?)
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:31PM
So - when are the FnF geniuses going to lock down signups? It's getting fairly silly, and they're not deleting them so quickly any more.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:32PM
"Blanus Michaels"
Breaking Media
Admin Assist.
Greg Greg Greg...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:32PM
@42.....Harry was still there 3rd from the bottom if you use the original thread's link.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:35PM
The He-Man thing is now officially killing me.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:39PM
@46 what is "the he-man" thing?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:40PM
@46 Hi-larious. Looks like someone stepped it up a notch with animated gifs.
I'm trying really hard not to laugh out load and scare my co-workers.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:40PM
@46 If I watch that animation anymore I will be insane
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:41PM
OK, which one of you clowns signed up as Risk Manager for BCCI?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:43PM
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/Heigh.Mann@gmail.com_heman.gif
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:43PM
It appears our mixing bowl friend made bail...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:47PM
whoever threw this one up, well done.
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/viewPhoto.php?imgID=4006
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:49PM
MoneyShot Novelties and Toys
North American Marketing
1818 Butterface Road
Omaha, NE 68105
MEMO
Date 07-30-09
TO North American Sales (Omaha)
From R. E. Strainer, VP North American Sales
Subj Annual NYC FMF August Festivities
********************
Gang:
I am well aware that all of you wish to atten the next FMF in NYC. That is well and good but we can't send everyone to the party and leave our "niche" fashion business by itself as we enter out pre-holidays sales push. As such, I've had to make some rough trade decisions so here is the plan by sales group:
Lotions, Lubes and Oils: Fell free to slip out and attend the FMF in NYC. Although sales slipped a bit you've done a good job of lubing up the prospects we discussed in the spring. Your driving efforts were nothing to spit at and we appreciate them. Sales in the State of KY were great!
Restraints, Strap-ons and Ticklers: Please pick an alternate to attend and use a safe word that only management will know so as not to alarm members left dangling in hopes of going.
Leather Zippered Face Masks and Gag Balls: While sales were up among financial occupation customers and oil and gas originators, institutional and government sales were down somewhat compared to the same period y-o-y. Maybe next year, OK? Sorry. We need you here.
Let's all work hard to make 2009 a great year as we approach the finish. A smile will do wonders for your facial appearance at the FMF and remember that you are ambassadors for MoneyShot Novelties and Toys. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!!
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 4:59PM
OK, now that site has jumped the shark and has gone from sublime to ridiculous. I expect an purge anytime soon.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 5:01PM
@55 which site? FMF? nah, they'll let the new submissions stay, guarantee it. why would they pass up the chance to let ppl think stevie cohen and robin katz are attending?
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Jul 30, 2009 5:07PM
@52,53 &56
"Richard (Dick) Aupinmee" from the prestigous firm of "JO&C Associates" apparently didn't fly, and that was the next best thing I could come up with.
Over/under on when she's accepted?
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 5:11PM
@51
Can we get a damn warning before you post crap like that, that's incredible, i laughed, i cried, I got many strange looks...
Posted by highlyconfident , Jul 30, 2009 7:09PM
@51 funniest thing I have seen in a WHILE
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 7:10PM
1) Conveniently leave "Technology" off the end of my department name
2) Increase salary by an order of magnitude
3) Score some D-list girls at FMF
Livin' the dream, baby.
- Technology Intern
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 8:18PM
Me and the boys may show up at this event...
outside in the shadows.
TRB
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 8:27PM
not sure if this one counts as fashion or finance but she looks like sarah jessica parker's retarded cousin
go get your banker skank
http://twitter.com/account/profile_image/MerrieFB?hreflang=en
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 8:35PM
First - All the jokers on FMF need to take a step back and go fuk their own face
Second - Someone needs to get all these retards in a room and tell them that a fukin monkey could do their job
- Les Grossman
Posted by trojan , Jul 30, 2009 8:45PM
@analyst
sadly, strong island knows how to represent.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 9:00PM
To all who liked the He-Man animated GIF - glad you enjoyed it. I've been holding onto that for a while waiting for the perfect time to post - this couldn't have been better.
Posted by guest , Jul 31, 2009 1:49AM
There was a version of the he-man gif with the partyboy theme playing in the background, really gives it a big boost.
Posted by guest , Jul 31, 2009 9:30AM
200k at KPMG? riiiight.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2009 12:28AM
Those fools are exposing everyone's email address:
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/
Oops.