Things have been prettay prettay prettay bad of late for Ruth Madoff, who's about to have no place to live, no friends, no money ($2.3 million, whatevs), and no real reason to get out of bed in the morning, besides to get the Daily News. Today, however, comes a little pick me up and perhaps something of a prospect? Apparently Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen went to high school with Ruth and thought she was a hottie (which would maybe explain why he hated Bernie, who was in the class two years ahead):
Among the alumni of Far Rockaway High School in Queens are three Nobel Prize winners -- two in physics (Richard Feynman, Burton Richter) and one in medicine (Baruch Blumberg) -- plus a pioneer in women's basketball (Nancy Lieberman), a famous psychologist (Joyce Brothers), a financier (Carl Icahn) and, appallingly and with much regret, Bernard Madoff, Class of 1956. Apparently, even back then I didn't like him.I was in the Class of 1958, two years behind Bernie, but in the same class as his wife, Ruth. She was my friend, or so our yearbook strongly suggests, although my memory of our friendship no longer speaks to me. I remember her only as really cute, an object of desire across a classroom or another. But in the yearbook she wrote a long inscription. It seems I teased her. It seems I kidded her. She forgave me all that and ended by writing that I would "meet Bernie at the prom -- and I guarantee he will say hello."
This is an obvious opportunity Ruth could potentially exploit. Clearly Dick spent at least four years pining after the girl, cursing Bernie for stealing his would-be bride and clearly he's still into her. He couldn't actually write "Confidential to Ruth Madoff: I still masturbate to the back of your head, now that your prick of a husband is in the slammer do I have a shot" but that's the message he's trying to send. Ruth, you need a place to live and a some spending money. Whether or not he was a D&D playing dork who you wouldn't give the time of day 50 years ago, this is something you should seriously consider.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:40PM
Boner - had to get that out of the way
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:42PM
Richard Cohen might also be the only kosher salami in a 5000 mile radius that hasn't lost his shekels in bernie's black hole..
that, or he tries to lure her into his lair to take out his anger on her - supermax prison style
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:42PM
Judging by prior posts' commentators I think all the really important traders, quants and financial types have taken the week off.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:44PM
@3 "all the really important traders"
fail
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:44PM
Dennis Kneale@3 kill yourself
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:45PM
@ the really important traders, like trader joe
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:46PM
JO&C to the back of her head? Never tried that before. Sounds interesting. Thanks for the hot tip, BL!
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:46PM
I'd hit it
Posted by lieutenant winslow , Jul 01, 2009 1:47PM
evidently we have very different definitions of the term "a little pick me up"
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:48PM
@7 I think BL meant to imply that he sat behind her in class.
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Jul 01, 2009 1:49PM
"Richard Cohen might also be the only kosher salami in a 5000 mile radius that hasn't lost his shekels in bernie's black hole.."
Now, he'll lose his sheckles in the ex's black hole.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:50PM
Wow, that column is worse than Dennis Kneale calling the recovery-you-heard-it-first-from-him-and-not-the-dollar-dominatrix. What a cheap ploy to get people to read his column-- so ex-post facto.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:50PM
is two chicks cum swapping considered a ponzi?
Posted by lieutenant winslow , Jul 01, 2009 1:52PM
#13 just won.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:52PM
I doubt RC is worth more than $2.3 mil.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:55PM
@8 = Ron Jeremy
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:55PM
@15 the penthouse is getting sold and no one will rent her an apt. certainly RC's got a warm bed to offer.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:56PM
She was already giving guarantees in 12th grade. Reopen that investigation.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 1:56PM
I think she looks better than Maria B at this point.
@13, no, that's broker-tainment
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:00PM
@19 a 300 lbs gorilla looks better than MB at this point.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:00PM
I must be in a charitible mood. I'm thinking of the betrayal she must feel after investing 50 years in that relationship.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:02PM
@21 sucker
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:04PM
@21
investing what exactly?
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:05PM
@21 - you would have made a perfect dupe/investor for their schemes... well played...
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:07PM
Is MB pregnant or just putting down the grand slam breakfasts every morning?
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:09PM
highly doubt she's prego but if so, shall we take a gander as to which ceo knocked her up?
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:12PM
@26 I am pretty sure Liz Warren is the dad
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:17PM
@26: Kenneth Lay
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:19PM
So you guys think she was in on it? I'm not convinced. If for no other reason than it appears that Bern didn't like to admit defeat. Most of all to those that adore him, which would have caused that adoration to go away real fast.
As for the boys, I doubt they knew directly, but had to suspect given that they know the business and were reportedly rebuffed when attempting to learn Bernie's secret recipe. At his age, there should have been some provision to groom a successor.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:21PM
I am Dennis Kneale
Who is Bernie Madoff?
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:26PM
@29: of course she knew. Married for decades - come on. Remember, all those people getting outsized returns adored him as well and - well, we know what happended to them. If you think ALL of those people didn't know somtehing was up - well, you know, you're an idiot.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:31PM
It turned out I knew Ruth. It turned out she never knew Bernie.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 2:31PM
31- you think the Baconator knew?
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 3:19PM
Actually she wrote: "You will meet Bernie in prison (not the prom) and he will say hello becuase he is locked in a cage.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 3:36PM
I bet Ruth hates it when RC cums in her hair when masturbating into the back of her head.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 3:46PM
Real gangsta-ass niggas get the flyest of the bitches/Ask that gangsta-ass nigga Little Jake
Now bitches look at gangsta-ass niggas like a stop sign/And play the role of Little Miss Sweet
But catch the bitch all alone get the digit take her out/and then dump-hittin' the ass with the meat
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 4:24PM
Am I the only one who doesn't feel sorry for the people who lost all their money? It sucks, sure, but did they actually look into Bernie at all? No. Did they diversify their portfolio? No. Did they save it instead of investing, or at least not give BM a way too disproportionate amount? No.
Mostly they were greedy and lazy idiots who thought they were entitled to never having a down year. They actually thought that they could make money without any effort.
Sorry, but tough shit. You're all fucking adults, act like.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 4:26PM
She's still looking doable. Not bad.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 5:13PM
37 - you're spot on. Grow up, people.
38 - agreed. I'd do her, but I'm old.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 5:22PM
37 You're def not the only one. There was an entire thread yesterday, kicked off via a Joe Nocera article that basically said grow up (so much for 39's comment).
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2009 5:24PM
37 In their defense, up until a few years ago, 10% was not an unreasonable expectation. Combined with low volatility, yes, totally unreasonable. But what retail investor really understands or focuses on volatility.
Posted by guest , Jul 02, 2009 9:17PM
Is this the way Jews talk about one another? Don't you think we as a society would be much better off if you kept this kind of garbage to yourselves? I'm trying to have a meal here.