• 15 Jul 2009 at 12:05 PM

Greenlight Capital: We Are Not Doing As Well As Our Performance Might Suggest

By Bess Levin

Picture 1721.pngI don’t think we have to tell you this, but there are some hedge fund managers whose cheeks we just want to pinch. Noted porn star David Einhorny is one of them. Greenlight Capital LP, Greenlight Capital Qualified LP, and Greenlight Capital Offshore have earned 21.5%, 19.7%, and 17.3%, year to date respectively, and while some guys would writing investors to suggest they “suck on this prestige,” the Green Lantern is saying, no, no, please, we are not the BSDs our power rings might indicate. Such modesty! Doesn’t it just make you want to squeeze the li’l guy? Of course, he included printable 8×11′s of the glamour shot at left, but he’s only human, and it was the best day.


Picture 1720.png
Full letter below.


GreenLanternSecondQuarterLetter.pdf [PDF]

Comments (18)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:15 PM

    “we don’t believe that we did a good job …”

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:16 PM

    January 2009
    Dear Citadel Investors,
    For the month of December, Wellington and Kensington returned (55%) net of fees. Eat a bag of dicks.
    -Kenny G

  3. 3
    Posted by merkin capital partners | July 15, 2009 at 12:16 PM

    link fail

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    link not working…

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    Bess, what are you wearing today? I am wearing one of my favorite Banana Republic outfits.

  6. 6
    Posted by Bess Levin | July 15, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    @3/4 it works now.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    yes! I want to pinch the shit out of him!
    -stevie c

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    I went to Cornell, ever heard of it?

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    is such self-loathing typical of Cornell grads?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    @9 yes.
    -ann coulter

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    the dude’s hair piece is awful and has been since his days as an analyst at DLJ

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    Sounds like Bess has a crush…

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 1:34 PM

    You bitch. I thought I was the only one whose cheeks you wanted to pinch.
    -steve in stam

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
    From the letter to investors on Discover Financial Services trades:
    “Opportunistic purchase of a good company in a bad neighborhood. Second go at this one. It has paid to Discover.”
    -2StopShop

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    diminished expectations is the new killing it

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | July 15, 2009 at 5:37 PM

    Uh, why do you like Greenlight?
    I think their returns are

  17. 17
    Posted by Bess Levin | July 15, 2009 at 5:43 PM

    @16 Uh, did I say it was Greenlight I liked? That’s what I thought.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | August 6, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Well sure. At the beginning of the fund his dad invested his dad’s company’s pension money in Greenlight to get Dave started…..which means good old dad broke the law, but who the heck is counting? Helps to have a nice papa and a silver spoon to start your life.

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