I don't think we have to tell you this, but there are some hedge fund managers whose cheeks we just want to pinch. Noted porn star David Einhorny is one of them. Greenlight Capital LP, Greenlight Capital Qualified LP, and Greenlight Capital Offshore have earned 21.5%, 19.7%, and 17.3%, year to date respectively, and while some guys would writing investors to suggest they "suck on this prestige," the Green Lantern is saying, no, no, please, we are not the BSDs our power rings might indicate. Such modesty! Doesn't it just make you want to squeeze the li'l guy? Of course, he included printable 8x11's of the glamour shot at left, but he's only human, and it was the best day.
Full letter below.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:15PM
"we don't believe that we did a good job ..."
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:16PM
January 2009
Dear Citadel Investors,
For the month of December, Wellington and Kensington returned (55%) net of fees. Eat a bag of dicks.
-Kenny G
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jul 15, 2009 12:16PM
link fail
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:17PM
link not working...
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:20PM
Bess, what are you wearing today? I am wearing one of my favorite Banana Republic outfits.
Posted by Bess Levin , Jul 15, 2009 12:22PM
@3/4 it works now.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:29PM
yes! I want to pinch the shit out of him!
-stevie c
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:33PM
I went to Cornell, ever heard of it?
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:33PM
is such self-loathing typical of Cornell grads?
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 12:37PM
@9 yes.
-ann coulter
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 1:01PM
the dude's hair piece is awful and has been since his days as an analyst at DLJ
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 1:32PM
Sounds like Bess has a crush...
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 1:34PM
You bitch. I thought I was the only one whose cheeks you wanted to pinch.
-steve in stam
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:12PM
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
From the letter to investors on Discover Financial Services trades:
"Opportunistic purchase of a good company in a bad neighborhood. Second go at this one. It has paid to Discover."
-2StopShop
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:58PM
diminished expectations is the new killing it
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 5:37PM
Uh, why do you like Greenlight?
I think their returns are <5% annual on a 3yr and 5yr basis. Lotsa publicity... mediocre results.
Five years ago, Einhorn was trailing around a "25% since inception" tagline. I suspect this is fake and largely driven by years 1 and 2. Now it is <20%.
Posted by Bess Levin , Jul 15, 2009 5:43PM
@16 Uh, did I say it was Greenlight I liked? That's what I thought.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 4:11PM
Well sure. At the beginning of the fund his dad invested his dad's company's pension money in Greenlight to get Dave started.....which means good old dad broke the law, but who the heck is counting? Helps to have a nice papa and a silver spoon to start your life.