The Journal has published Hank Paulson's prepared testimony for tomorrow's hearing on the Hill. Apparently Bald is going to ramble on for about four pages until he finally gets to the following. Basically, what it comes down to is whether or not my definition of 'appropriate' is the same as yours. I think it's appropriate to waterboard a CEO with his drink of choice, Strawberry Hill, until he agrees to do exactly as we say. If you don't, I guess you'd characterize what I did as 'inappropriate,' which is your prerogative.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:07PM
Hank - "I worked for Goldman; the rules don't apply to us."
Posted by wcburrs87 , Jul 15, 2009 2:11PM
I got dunked on by Ken Chewis.
-Snickers Ad Rep
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:12PM
@2 nice work today
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:13PM
[6000 words]
so, yes, I threatened him. I threatened him GOOD.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:13PM
"I feel better now that I know Hank had my best interests in mind."
- BAC shareholders and all US taxpayers.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:15PM
Paulson should resign.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 15, 2009 2:15PM
I dont know about everyone else but Id like to see HP hotel bill the night before he talked to Ken
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 15, 2009 2:16PM
I would LOVE to see Paulsons hotel bill from the night before he talked to Ken
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:16PM
"...and thats when I felt his balls on the back of my neck..."
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:17PM
@7/8- agreed! where are you hotel bill guy?!
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:20PM
It depends on what your definition of "is" is.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 2:35PM
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I...
Kaffee: *Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: You’re Goddamned right I did!
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Jul 15, 2009 2:42PM
@ 6
Nice.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 3:19PM
Yes I threatened him, and what are you going to do about it? That's what I thought- nothing. That's right- I'm the BSD.
-Hank
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 3:20PM
i was phi beta kappa at dartmouth, i have an mba from harvard, i was the head of investment banking and chief executive officer at goldman sachs, i was the secretary of the treasury for the united states of america, and i am never, ever sick at sea.
so I ask you... when someone goes online to check their 401(k), and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that they have enough money to put their kids through college or that they wont have to work into their 80's or that they can afford a nursing home for their in-laws so they don't have to move in with them or that the contingent deferred sales charges on their mutual fund doesnt eat up all their profits... who do you think they're praying to?
now, go ahead and read your bible, senator, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle, but if you're looking for God, he was in conference room B in the federal reserve building on december 21, and he doesn't like to be second guessed.
you ask me if I have a God complex, senator? let me tell you something: I am God.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 3:24PM
Hank would never say such words to The Blank.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 3:28PM
The Bald is throwing himself at the bus for the Beard. The bus gets totalled while Hank remains firmly footed in the road, arms akimbo.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 15, 2009 3:56PM
This comment thread is good people, I'm impressed (knock on wood)
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 3:58PM
@15 nice work
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:34PM
@17 nice imagery.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:37PM
You'd think NoBama would be all over this to blame it on the last administration. I wonder why this has not exploded yet.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 4:46PM
@15 Good on paper. But Stammerin' Hank would never, ever, ever be able to eloquently spit out that speech in front of senators and cameras.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 6:12PM
@22 which is why we need Alec Baldwin in the cabinet. God knows it looks like he's already in the kitchen cabinet.
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 9:41PM
Haha, Hank double fakes Congress.
Tomorrow's hearing:
"HP: Gentle Congresspeople, it is good that we are looking backwards into the decisions and discussions that were held in the past that lead to this unfortunate crisis, I believe we should delve deeply into all relevant convos.
Here are my primary thoughts on this debacle and I hope you can give me great insight into this gigantic clusterfuck.
1. Ms. Waters, can you explain how you, an AA degree holding Headstart preschool teacher, amassed $2M+ in OneUnited banking stock and how that holding did not disqualify you from serving on this committee?"
"MadMax: stfuwhiteyyoubitchasswhiteboymotherfuckeriwillkillyou! WHO IS YOUR CEO MUTHAFUCKA? TELL ME THAT YOU JEW LOVAH? !@$%^&*()(*&^%$#"
"H.P. : 2. Mr. Dodd, can you please explain how you managed to secure, not one, but two FNE/FRE home loans on that Irish cottage (given that FNE/FRE don't loan outside of the USofA?) Fine, sir, I'll accept a no answer on that question, but sir? How did you secure such loans on a 2nd (or 3rd?)primary owner occupied loan on your condo in DC when those are clearly prohibited?"
"C.D. : I come from a long line of distinguished crooks on the public payroll and I resent the impliciation that I took more than the standard amount of available graft, No! No! Scratch that, I am a poor man born of a discriminated class of citizens who were not fairly represented by those of the wealthy classes! Yes, I fight for the unempowered who are just like me and my poor family, especially my poor poor persecuted indicted and convicted father." *
"H.P. : 3. Mr. Frank, I need to ask you several questions about CRA and FNE/FRE...Mr. Frank? Mr. Frank, are you okay? Mr. Frank, can you breathe, Jesus Christ, somebody call 911. Mr. Frank? Chairman, can you breathe? Is there a doctor in the House? No, I don't need a Ph.D. you assholes, I'm looking for somebody who's fucking useful."
"B.F. :ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhheeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmm, pool, boy, volleyballs, hottttttt booooooooooiiiiiiis, water NOW!"
"H.P. : Gentlepersons of Congress, I promise you that I will answer all of your questions with the same clarity, honesty, and full disclosure as your leaders have done.
Now, who has the first question for me, bitches?"
* [I say this as a 100% Irish-American but this guy makes my skin crawl.]
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 9:47PM
@15 -- quite funny. Nice, nice work