No doubt inspired, or more likely sickened, by yesterday’s food eating failure, an analyst at JPMorgan is endeavoring to prove there exists a financial services hack on Wall Street still able to complete a measly challenge without claiming his stomach lining is too sensitive to finish the damn thing. One of every item in the vending machine, unclear on the time limit (one was not specified to us, which we’re going to hope was an oversight). According to an onlooker, “I just smacked his belly and it sounded like a 55 gallon drum.”
DONE: Special K bar, Wheat Thins, Oreo Snack cookies, Pop Corn (unpopped), Lays Potato Chips, Kit Kat, Gold Roll Pretzels, M&Ms Peanuts, Doritos, Almond Joy, Cheetos, Sun Chips Cheddar, Frito Lays Original, Cheez-It, Gold Honey Wheat Braids, Fig Newtons, Oreo Cookies, Short Bread Cookies, Pop Tarts Strawberry, Famous Amos Chocolate Chips, Animal Crackers, Twizzlers, Snack Wells Crème Sandwich, Twix, Rice Krispy Treat.
LEFT:M&Ms, Starburst, Ruger Wafers Chocolate, Ruger Wafers Vanilla, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Hershey Bar, Raisinets, Welch’s Fruit Snacks, Skittles.
We’ll keep you posted.
Update: “Two of those Ruger Waffers and five blue M&Ms to go.”
Update II: DONE. We’re now told it was a 4-hour time limit (so: really that hard?), with $1,000 at stake.
I thought Joey Chestnut was MD
Unpopped pop corn?
That sounds way worse than 63 McNuggets.
Any word on how that kid’s feeling today?
How many times can he hurl?
Fruit Snacks may be his Waterloo…tough to chew, can get stuck in the teeth, and lots of volume that late in the game.
What no gum??? That’s the real killer in these things!
Of course, unpopped popcorn is pretty f’ing rough!
that’s right bitches, watch me go!
-jd
unpopped popcorn? wtf?
He’s feeling fine. He ate the unpopped corn throughout the day. He’s down to 1 pack of Ruger Wafers, 1/2 each of M&Ms and Skittles..
Unpopped? WTF? Dude’s ass is going to be like a pellet gun.
He’ll pop his cookies at the Hershey squirts.
This is a fuckin’ snack. Plebes.
-Stevie C
“unclear on the time limit (one was not specified to us, which we’re going to hope was an oversight)”
Knowing JPM, it was likely an oversight.
Fuck that. Skittles? that by itself constitutes a hurl
go! go! go! go! go!
hey- new IB branding @ J.P. Morgan, Bess
I pretty much do charity work for a living, so i’m quite familiar with the vending machine offerings.. so far, I’m pretty impressed.
The animal crackers are by far the best bang for your buck. 55 cents for 2 servings. I’ve made a lunch many times off of those animal crackers.
The Famous Amos Cookies are bangin’ but you gotta get the Oatmeal Raisin. The Chocolate Chip is lacking.
I have no idea why someone in their right mind would eat popcorn unpopped. His ass is going to be torn to shreds later.
I know who this guy is. I sht you not he’s about 5′9″ and like 180 lbs
”
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2009 3:01PM
Unpopped? WTF? Dude’s ass is going to be like a pellet gun.
”
You just made my Friday.
GO! WE BELIEVE IN YOU!!
DO IT FOR MJ!
Down to 3 wafers left and half a bag of Skittles.
Youuu can dooo it! Go Go Go!
@23 what was the time limit?
lmfao at the “Unpopped popcorn” he has to eat
Down to 3 wafers left and half a bag of Skittles.
What division is the kid in?
“The animal crackers are by far the best bang for your buck. 55 cents for 2 servings. I’ve made a lunch many times off of those animal crackers.”
Who let the poors on here?!
DONE!!!!!!!!!
@26 by kid do you mean champion?
“Dude’s ass is going to be like a pellet gun.”
welcome to my Friday night.
-ping jiang
Re: Bang for your buck
Animal crackers, but you can’t forget about the Rold Gold. Those bitches fill you up and cost about $0.85 in my machine.
applause
@18 … shit us not? 5′8” and 180 is not that unusual .. maybe a little on the heavy side nothing crazy
I appreciate the effort but a couple of fun size snacks and this kid is still not man enough to wipe the sweat from Oyster Boy’s chin.
Post Challenge Photo:
http://twitpic.com/aob4y
This better not have been funded with TARP monies.
“this kid is still not man enough to wipe the sweat from Oyster Boy’s chin.”
who is?
@36 looks like Gaspo from back in the day, before he started cutting his hair so tight and clean.
@37 – No, just monies from the increased credit card rates and fees on MW’s constituents
“This better not have been funded with TARP monies.”
nice
Awesome dude!
Without question the Vending Machine Challenge is my favorite.
If I’m not mistaken this is the first successful attempt. Right?
SPODE
Now MDs are holing him down with a sonogram machine trying to pop the damn popcorn!
Now MDs are holding him down with a sonogram machine trying to pop the damn popcorn!
Unpopped pocorn ?
That dudes gonna be “dropping a lot of kids in the pool” tomorrow, sooner if the raisins from the oatmeal cookies kick in.
Unpopped popcorn ?
That dudes gonna be “dropping a lot of kids in the pool” tomorrow, sooner if the raisins from the oatmeal cookies kick in.
@45/46 what if the raisins from the oatmeal cookies kick in?
@47 oh dear!
NakedShort @36- “It’s OK Greg, things will be better tomorrow.”
And check out the white guy, you can see his crack. Bess brought that to my attention.
SPODE
@47 – thereby speeding up the digestive/alimentary/evacuation process, provided they are not offset by the cheese-related products.
NakedShort @36- “It’s OK Greg, things will be better tomorrow.”
And check out the white guy, you can see his crack. Bess brought that to my attention.
SPODE
SPODE totally missed the crack; that pic is a win on so many different levels.
@Naked- And how about those white suede shoes. That picture is incredible, right click, save, desktop.
SPODE
@42
First successful completion I’ve seen chronicled on DB.
9,642 calories is a lot for 4 hours..
9,642 calories is a lot for 4 hours..
Hey @54,
Why don’t you go over to Fashionista? They would really like you. Seriously. Do it.
The Prince of Stamford
4 hours seems long
Get tuu daa chopppa!!
this is resselant!!!
hats off
@36 – twitpic FTW! well done sir.
Chuck Norris can def. do this as well
summer analyst at BMO in Toronto did in May but with 45 items, including popped popcorn, 1 pack of rolaids, and 4 packs of halls
Goddamn I love that picture @36. If I didn’t have any pants on and someone was putting their arm around me I’d probably get real nervous too.