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We honestly did not mean to make this Lenny Dykstra Day but the glory that is Nails demands it. This next one, brought to our attention by one of your own, is a track from LD’s greatest hits, wherein Big D makes the modest suggestion that your quality of life would improve immensely by flying private. The fact that his Gulfstream II was impounded in February makes it a bit bittersweet, but, as previously stated, LD is not bankrupt and will make it back. Since he was let go of his gig at TheStreet.com by faux friend Jim Cramer, (pictured above with Nails in happier times), we are putting it out there that there is a columnist gig for Len here at DB. I know we make the offer to a lot of people, usually jokingly, but after reading this contribution to literature we are dead serious. This will be a paid position, and perks are included but not limited to all the dip LD could ever desire.
Private Jets Take Hassle Out of Flying
12/02/08 – 09:21 AM EST
I know that I don’t have to tell any baseball fans this, but I thoroughly enjoyed my time playing in the major leagues. In fact, I loved every second of it. Who wouldn’t?
But like many professional athletes, I had to adjust to life after the major leagues. You’ve read about how some athletes find this to be a horrible struggle, out of the limelight, not really sure of how to spend their days.
I was lucky in that I had businesses that I set up for myself, and after I trusted a broker who lost $1.6 million of my hard-earned money, I learned how to handle my own investments. I was fulfilled away from the field. But I will tell you that even with minding my businesses and my investments, I had a few shocks to adjust to.
One of them was taking a commercial flight.
I know that may sound a little snotty, but certainly you know how I feel. Does anyone enjoy flying commercial these days?
Flying on a regular airline is especially difficult and expensive if you have a family. The hassle of getting to the airport, checking your luggage, waiting to get through the security line, and then finally making it to your seat.
Even when I flew first class, this was no joy. After paying big bucks for first class, you still have to deal with every person who sits in the back of the plane hitting you on your shoulder and elbow with their luggage, purses and whatever else they may be carrying as they pass by.
After all this hassle, I just came to the realization that there had to be a better way to get to where I wanted to go. So I looked into taking a private jet.
Once I did it, I loved it and swear that I will never go back to flying a commercial tube. Now, before you get huffy and think: “Big time baseball player enjoying his private plane,” just take a breather. A private plane is expensive, but it may be worth your while. At least, it’s an option that you may want to consider.
I would have never known how wonderful it is to fly a private jet if I hadn’t tried it out. That’s what I want you to do.
If it’s for you, then wonderful. I’ve saved you some hassle, and you’ll find that you have more time to work on your business or relax. And if taking a private jet, is not your thing. Well, that’s OK.
But you never know. Maybe I’ll see you on a private jet sometime. (I’ll be the guy in the suit and baseball cap.)
Read the rest here.