Since Jim Cramer won't defend (and take the blame for) Lenny Dykstra's run of bad luck, Nails will just have to do it himself. He did so this afternoon. One thing you can be sure of: LD is not alone. Tons of awesome dudes have gone bankrupt and then pulled themselves out it to do great things. Unfortunately, slavery has already been abolished, so we're going to have to come up with something even better for our main man.
Although I am saddened and a bit embarrassed that I had no choice but to resort to this action, at least I am in good company. . . .Two of our greatest presidents, Thomas Jefferson (filed several times) and Abraham Lincoln, were able to restructure their lives through bankruptcy and went on to do great things such as helping to establish the University of Virginia and abolishing slavery.
Ulysses S. Grant went bankrupt after leaving office when a partner in an investment-banking venture swindled him. (I can certainly identify with this one.)
William McKinley filed for protection while serving as Ohio's governor in 1893. He was in debt to the tune of $130,000 (an insurmountable sum in those days!) before some friends eventually helped to bail him out. Three years later, he occupied a desk in the Oval Office.
Other prominent men who made the list and later went on to huge successes:
- Mark Twain
- Donald Trump (2 timer)
- Henry Ford
- William Crapo Durant (founder of GM)
- Walt Disney (up to bat several times)
- Burt Reynolds
- H.J. Heinz
- Milton Hershey
- P.T. Barnum
- Lenny K. Dykstra (coming soon!)
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:06PM
I'm obsessed with this guy
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 09, 2009 4:08PM
After every interview I see of him I am 100% convinced he has alzheimers
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:08PM
Ah yes, on my list of great Americans, Burt Reynolds follows closely behind Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:11PM
Nails, how many of the guys on your list used to snort speed before Phillies games?
2 years, Dykstra stenciled across the back of a minor league jersey that is stretched way to far, coaching third base. Make it so.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:13PM
One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just isn't the same.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:14PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo77x4VeoQE
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:15PM
50k in assets and he claims he is still rich....he just "fills out the forms"...BAHAHHAHAHAHA
Lenny, you are a fucking DEADBEAT!...oh and you are BROKE!
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:15PM
actually looks like he's on pain killers
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:17PM
I will suck cock for $10.
LD
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:17PM
He can identify with having a partner in an investment swindle him? Wait, who? Who's this mysterious partner that's swindled him, that would prompt him to say such a thing? Who's the mystery man that's implied to be responsible for this whole mess?
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:19PM
lenny dykstra -- forever a philadelphia phillie.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:19PM
@3...enjoyed your comment immensely!
Here are more folk who started their books with Chapter 11:
http://www.popcrunch.com/bankrupt-65-famous-people-who-lost-it-all/
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:22PM
July 9th 2009
4:23pm
"Hey Nails. Larry here. Heard you were in a bit of a financial bind so I got a sweet way for you to make alot of cash quick. Just got off the phone with some chick named Ruthie. Apparently she was married to some famous Jewish guy who ripped people off for a living. Anyway, she said she's cool with anal and for a little extra she said she'd be in for the money shot if you can wear your old Phillies jersey. Your call bro! Hit me back..."
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 09, 2009 4:27PM
"Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' Slugger! whadya think of that ass fuck!?"
-Nails
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:29PM
I am taking some time today to enjoy myself.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:34PM
I will teabag anyone for $15
LD
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:34PM
I wonder if Cramer walks down the street these days, fingers gesticulating wildly at no one or thing in particular, muttering unintelligible things to himself, heaving deep sighs punctuated with an occasional, hiss-like scream of "Fuck!" under his breath from time to time? Ya think?
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:36PM
Go play with the rabbits Lenny
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:36PM
I think part of Lenny's problem is that he ran head first into the center field wall a few too many times in his playing days. There is something seriously wrong in this guy's head. The problem for Lenny's "comeback" is that his name is mud and no one in their right mind would ever do business with him again. Based on all of the things I have read about him lately he totally deserves the financial and legal screwing he is about to take. Give him enough money to rent a one bedroom apartment in Reseda plus some cash for groceries and send him on his way. Lenny, you're a complete douche.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:37PM
He is one hot piece of man ass.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:38PM
HAHA! Amazing to see this washed up piece of human garbage place himself in the same list as some of the greatest men in history. What a joker. The only solution for this sleazy turd is a final one.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:39PM
L.D. = baseball / investing Gary Busey
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:40PM
21- seriously. No way is he in the same league w/ Hooper.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:44PM
Guest Post #10: According to Lenny, nothing is his fault, he is an honest businessman and it is everyone else who is trying to screw him. Well, Lenny, too bad that everyone is not as stupid as you so no one believes you. Yes, and according to Lenny's bizzaro world logic, all 24 of the pending lawsuits against him are completely baseless.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:47PM
Anyone with the name Crapo is destined from a young age for bankruptcy just as anyone named Jeeves is destined to Butlerdom...
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:47PM
This is Lenny's brain. This is Lenny's brain on a plane. This is Lenny's brain in bankruptcy. Just say no.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:49PM
Headline:
"Final Nails in Dykstra's Coffin"
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 4:58PM
Tomorrow NY Post Headline:
"Debt Nails Dykstra"
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 09, 2009 5:04PM
@25 - He was a freaking valet, not a butler! Get it straight you newt fancying twerp!
Posted by trojan , Jul 09, 2009 5:16PM
i'm pretty sure Nails has as many illegitimate children from his AAA days as Tommy "John" Jefferson
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 5:30PM
P.G. Wodehouse was not a Nazi sympathyzer.
George Orwell
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 09, 2009 5:35PM
@31 - Worse. He worked at HSBC.
Posted by guest , Jul 09, 2009 9:36PM
Trump is a failure and nothing more than the front edifice of the financial and real estate bubbles.
But damn, his hair is dope.
Posted by trojan , Jul 09, 2009 11:54PM
does Lenny Nails Dykstra sound like porn to anybody else?
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 1:02AM
"Two of our greatest presidents, Thomas Jefferson (filed several times)"
I don't think there were bankruptcy laws in place during most of Jefferson's lifetime. He may have been deeply in debt, but to say he "filed several times" is I think inaccurate.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 4:25AM
@32 fill me in on HSBC's dirty history please.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 10, 2009 7:13AM
@36 - Just speak to some of the miserable bastards and bastardettes that work there now. No wonder Wodehouse quit and decided to try to make a living as a writer.
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Jul 10, 2009 9:05AM
Wow! Mabee Iff I filled for bankruptcee, I woodn't be suck a fooktard!
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Jul 10, 2009 9:07AM
@3 - I think the character Burt Reynolds played in "Boogie Nights" qualifies him as a great American.
Posted by guest , Jul 10, 2009 9:11AM
Are we talking about Ellen or Rosie here?