11:00 Music hold. Classical, with a hint of Lil Jon, which is LB's fave, and has been getting tons of play in his Top 25.
11:01 Dane Holmes, head of investor relations welcomes you, invites everyone to help themselves to a hundo.
11:02 Reading of the press release
Let this be a lesson to you all: Goldman's second quarter earnings "reflect the importance of diversifying."
11:07 Real estate hurt, kinda bad.
11:12 Compensation expenses came out to $6.6 billion-ish; headcount was down 1 percent to 29,100. Each and every one of you are missed, but LB and his bitches gotta get paid.
Q&A
Guy Moszkowski, BAC, is up first, because he pays off the operators and is up first on every call: It seems your bid offers have improved, is that fair?
GS: They were flat-ish.
Glenn Schorr, UBS: You've been able to issue at tight spreads but not tight enough spreads.
GS: We're not forced to issue debt if we don't want to. We'll do it at small amounts over time, we'll get tighter as the world gets better. Don't push us.
Glenn: Are you nervous about regulations and whatnot?
GS: No, you know we own every bitch's ass in DC. You know that, boy.
Um, the next question was supposed to be from Meredith Whitney but it's from some dude named Howard at Credit Suisse. What's the hold up with Big Momma?
I miss Howie's question, something about OTC derivatives, because I'm legitimately nervous/excited about what happened to the lady of the hour/what she's got planned.
Big Momma is back, claiming the technical difficulty is that she had herself on mute which, I'm not sure who she thinks she's dealing with, but we don't buy for a second.
Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisors: I initiated my first buy call in the history of Meredith Whitney Advisors yesterday, and I initiated it on your ass. How did that make you feel?
GS: It was good, uh, you know we always like people to like GS--
Whitney: NO-- how did it make you feel? Did it move you? Did it groove you?
GS: Meredith, I'm not sure--
Whitney: Whatever, I know you liked it, next question. Did you get the signed headshot I sent you? Have you decided the best location to place it in the building? I'm thinking Lloyd's office, or the main lobby. For those of you at home, here's a free one. Print it out, paste it up. You'll be the envy of all your friends and colleagues:
Mike Mayo, Calyon Securities: Can you quantify the change in backlogs from Q1 to Q2?
GS: It was down.
Chris Kotowski of Oppenheimer is trying to ask a question but someone on the Opp end of the call is cracking himself up and making it hard to hear. If this has anything to do with former colleague Mer Whit, you can all S-a-D.
Douglas Sipkin of Pali Capital (actually) wants to know when Goldman is moving into its new building, and if they need any boxes or bubble-wrap, which is better for moving bodies, cause he knows a guy. Apparently it's going to be Q4 of this year, so plan to be busy that day because you can be sure they're gonna ask.
11:50 Is L-Blanks thinking the same thing as us? That unless someone's going to man up and let Max Waters take his place on the line it's time to whip out the:
Do it, LB. You have the power.
12:01 We're done here.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:03AM
Classical? Oldies?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:07AM
Live-Prairie Dogging while holding to Live-Blogging?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:08AM
This is Lloyd Blankfein: we made a shit ton of money. Everyone have a great day.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:08AM
Great, Dane, just great.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:09AM
Please pass the curry if you would. Thank you very very much.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:09AM
shouldn't the head of investor relations be a hot chick? or is this the secret to goldman's success? chicks w/ dicks?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:10AM
@6 worked for me.
-SC
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:10AM
Vik@5 get back to work.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:14AM
Dane, show us your tits.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:15AM
"being a good steward of capital means will will cut a bitch to make a dolla"
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:17AM
why does Guy Moszkowski always sound so nasaly?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:20AM
question from meredith:
"LB, how much of these profits are to be attributed to my 'buy' call on you guys yesterday?"
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:20AM
I'm rich, BITCH!
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:20AM
God these pricks are boring the ass out of me.
-LB
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:22AM
@12 nice
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:22AM
Does Meredith ask if her promotion fee hit her account yet?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:24AM
@12 are you saying they don't have me to thank/blow for the favor?
-mdubs
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:24AM
Big Momma still checking if the money hit the account yet.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:28AM
Big Momma is lying about the mute. She's been bought.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:28AM
Kerfuffle
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:29AM
Im 99.9% certain that Big Momma is packing a tree trunk under that dress.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:30AM
Big Momma waiting for the email from Goldies with the layup question she is supposed to ask
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:32AM
is big momma the dollar dom's new nickname? i like it.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:33AM
Big Momma ftw
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:33AM
big momma:
" a bit more enthousiasm pls or i will come over there and sit on you."
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:36AM
Ohshutup! She did not say that, did she?!? That momma got balls!
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:38AM
big momma here, did you boys like that? god, I am the best conference call participant ever. nobody does it better than me. who wants a rally today? I have the power.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:39AM
i gotsa knows ... did anyone ask "who is yer ceo"?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:40AM
I want to make some sex with MW.
Shafeef
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:42AM
MAYO
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:42AM
@29 MW= Maxine Waters?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:43AM
She's sporting a lot of jaw in the pic. I hope it's not incipient pituitary disease.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:43AM
@31 you must be a god damn genius, gump.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:48AM
Shafeef? Is that you? Its me, Mustaffa. Remember?
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 14, 2009 11:55AM
when'd mayo go to Caylon?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:55AM
why can't ONE of these pussies ask a good question? what are they afraid of?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:58AM
GS = Kenny Powers
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 11:59AM
@analyst-- march.
https://www.clsa.com/about-clsa/media-centre/2009-Media-releases/top-ranked-us-banking-analyst-mike-mayo-will-join-clsas-u.s.-broker-dealer-affiliate-calyon-securities-usa.php
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:01PM
Big Momma here. Kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone.
-Big Momma (aka the artist formerly known as the dollar dominatrix)
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:01PM
Pass the dradle, bitches. Its Moisha Time!
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:03PM
MW makes me embarassed to be an equity research analyst
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:05PM
@41 again, kiss my ass and suck my dick. And it's "Big Momma." Get it right, peasant.
-Big M
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:06PM
When are we going to hear some self-righteous indignation from the Whte House over Goldman's profits?
I forgot you don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:07PM
Suck my tits and cup my balls, infidel.
-Big MW
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:07PM
@43 uh, you won't simpleton. the wh is not going to touch this. where the bitching will come from is congress.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:08PM
@44 haha
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:12PM
Tweak my nips and twist my teats, plebe.
-Big MW
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:14PM
I feel weird looking at that headshot for more than 5 secs and have to physically look away.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:14PM
38 I heard him on BB this morning and didn't make the connection that CSI is Calyon
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:14PM
Mount my ass and clamp my balls, peon.
-Big MW
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:15PM
@49 csi is calyon securities, which is what it says.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:16PM
@48 good, it's working.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:18PM
Herd my ass and suck my teats.
-Big MW
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:26PM
My penis is biggerer than my husband's.
Big MW
Posted by Last Man Standing , Jul 14, 2009 12:42PM
Bess, your knowledge of Rap is appalling. It's Lil Jon, not John. He's Jonathan Smith.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:46PM
@36 because they don't wanna get a taste of what happens when LB rocks out with his glocks out.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:47PM
@56 what happens then? Danza slap?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:51PM
@41
you mean you weren't embarassed to begin with?
a guy who use to work in equity research.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 12:52PM
mike mayo on the rebound and takin NAMES
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 1:01PM
I think MW looks hot in that pic. Scary hot. Like she'd fuck you and then kill you in your sleep.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 1:05PM
What is the spread on number of Danza slaps that MW has issued/received?
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 1:16PM
i think the real question here is how MW sent that headshot through the phone...
Posted by mrpink , Jul 14, 2009 1:18PM
time to return to 2006!
Models and Bottles, bitches!
Hamptons Summer '09!
It's not too late!
-mrp
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 1:21PM
At 29- I take it english is not your first languauge.
Posted by Bess Levin , Jul 14, 2009 1:21PM
@62 I take it you've never seen Ghost Dad.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 1:52PM
@Last Man Standing (55) Jonathan=MOT?
Posted by Last Man Standing , Jul 14, 2009 2:54PM
He doesn't come across as MOT, doesn't have that jewish look. But then, neither did sammy davis jr.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2009 6:01PM
she has man face
Posted by guest , Jul 15, 2009 6:21AM
@64
his name is shafeef, what do you think einstein?