Speaking of dying in an electrical fire, the third "Fashion Meets Finance" event is coming up. This one, thrown in celebration of the recession supposedly being over, is taking place at Nikki Beach on August 6th. For those who buried the memory of just what this gathering entails, FMF is based on the idea that "women in fashion need men who can facilitate their pre-30 marriage/retirement plan, and men in finance need women who will allow them to leverage their career in their dating equity." Does the pressing issue of $0-ish bonuses throw a wrench in things? The rètards who organized the event say no.
2008 was a confusing time, but we are here to announce the balance is restoring itself to the ecosystem of the New York dating community. We fear that news of shrinking bonuses, banks closing and the Dow plummeting confused the gorgeous women of the city who understood that their shelf life is quick and fleeting like a senator's South American love affair. The uncertainty caused panic which caused irrational decisions - there's going to be a two year blip in the system where a hot fashion girl might commit to a pharmaceutical salesman (this is so much worse than the expected guy selling mortgages at JP Morgan Chase convincing a fashion girl he's actually in finance).Fashion Meets Finance has returned to let the women of fashion know that the recession is officially over. It might be a year before bonuses start inflating themselves again, but it will happen. Invest in the future; feel confident in your destiny. Hold on. It will only be a couple more years until you can quit your job and become a tennis mom.
Who can you expect to be in attendance? Dennis Kneale, for one, who enjoys attending conferences of like-minded tail. The rest of the RSVP list is here. A lot of (alleged) JPMorgan employees, a Morgan Stanley MD, and a Citadel "associate" playing it fast and loose with the top buttons.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:27AM
Don't they mean a 'Governer's South American' love affair?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:28AM
A little late. Aren't we?
Noted Economist Dennis Kneale has called the end to the recession over a month ago now!
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:31AM
@2 which was noted here. now, people are following him, as they should.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:32AM
the girls at the last one were absolute dogs. the guys were hoboken bank tellers.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:33AM
Savvy models are buying low, and insisting on anti-a2m provisions in the prenup.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:33AM
I will be there! Count on it.
-Beaker
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:34AM
There's going to be some MD's pissed off at their associates and analysts for being on there . . .
Hey - anyone notice Ted Dibiase near the bottom? Calls into (some) question the reliability of the list.
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jul 30, 2009 11:35AM
Bess: the accent grave in "rètards" is everything about why I love your writing.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:36AM
Anybody know what it takes to become an 'Auto Finance Documentation Analyst'?
Posted by Chuck Krug , Jul 30, 2009 11:37AM
Nice to see that Rico Bonjohnson of Grand Slamma Gamma Capital LLC is coming.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:38AM
How about Kevin Brown from Highbridge Capitol (sic) Management?
Looks like JD wasn't kidding when he said government was JPM's 6th line of business...
Posted by InfiniteGuest , Jul 30, 2009 11:38AM
2nd at Perkins.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:41AM
I am on my way to Kinko's to print out my fund's cards...worked out fine for that guy last year, what's the downside?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:42AM
@13
Make sure to print out some fake ATM reciepts while you're at it...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:42AM
The Harlem Chamber of Commerce Fashion Committee be representin!
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:44AM
In Firefox, go to the RSVP list, press Ctril + a few times to zoom in the pics and the text. Much easier to browse. I think I qualify as an "unemployment insurance instrument collection specialist."
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 11:46AM
Think this pretty much sums this whole thing up:
Bobby G
dbags anonymous
head of all dbags
$500,000+
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:46AM
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/fakeemail@yahoo.com_3283597079_2e6da41a8d.jpg
under 30????
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 11:46AM
Does anyone know where I can get a Maybach keychain to put my '89 Camero keys on prior to attending the event?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:47AM
@19 You get them at the door when you sign in.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:47AM
@18 also note the wedding ring?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:48AM
Wish my name was Bonjohnson. Or Johnsongrande. Something like that.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:49AM
I like this guy "Aristocracy & Board Member"
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:50AM
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/pjgachjournalist@gmail.com_pj%20mac.jpg
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:51AM
-@23
and a real looker too - http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/viewPhoto.php?imgID=3332
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 11:51AM
@24 she is crouching over to hide her FUPA; bank on it
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:52AM
From the No Handbridge Needed Dept:
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/jcirera86@yahoo.com_n35402111_3607%5B1%5D.jpg
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:54AM
I haven't laughed or cried this much since Yentil. You are all on a roll and should be proud.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 11:57AM
@27 massive squash tits there. You are going to need the Army Corps of Engineers to stabilize the T Levees during a TF session.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 11:57AM
@27
You got any syrup I can put on those flapjacks?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:57AM
This is how I met my first husband, Mr. Porker Stansberry.
Marney Stansberry
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:58AM
@26: what's a FUPA? not sure I want to know right before lunch but I figure I'd ask anyway...
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:58AM
WTF is a Camero?
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 11:58AM
Fat Upper Pussy Area
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 11:59AM
Robert James
Managing Director
Morgan Stanley
Salary: $100,000-$149,000 ????????????????????????????
Posted by highlyconfident , Jul 30, 2009 12:00PM
@7 The list is credible, The Million Dollar Man was there last year recruiting for Money Inc. Nice business cards. Girls were impressed.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:00PM
I'm gonna put my seed inside everything there that moves...then fix myself a pastrami on rye.
-CG
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:05PM
What kind of gold digging could POSSIBLY go on here?! All these idiots are in ops. To be fair though, the girls are pretty JV also -- bunch of girls in JV jobs in fashion/PR. Pathetic. I guess 2s attract 2s.
Better chance on 'Seeking Arrangement'.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:07PM
OK, well if Zoolander is showing up then I guess it is pretty legit.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:09PM
Anybody else really horny after reading this?
CG
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:11PM
Dear Lord: Thank you, thank you for brightening my day and putting this guy on the RSVP list!
"Rico Bonjohnson.....Grand Slamma Gamma Capital LLCPortfolio Manager......Under $50,000"
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:11PM
Heard Bruno was going/
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:18PM
analyst, are you going?
Posted by Porker Stankleberry , Jul 30, 2009 12:26PM
I'm in! Picture and all.
And I can't believe they're so stupid as to let people sign up, unmoderated.
Oh wait - yes I can.
Posted by NegativeConvexity , Jul 30, 2009 12:26PM
ME: Young-ish , attractive-ish, blond-ish female.. Quintessence of high fashion with staggering knowledge of split strike conversion investment strategies..
YOU: [handsome, charming, articulate]*, Wealthy, Knows how to treat a women and enjoys paying for her sons' frequent fishing trips.
See you at FMF, daahhling..!
-Ruthie
*not required
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:27PM
rétard, stemming from the french le rétard should be spelled as such an hence with an accent aigu, not grave.
-learn your fuckin french
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:36PM
@46 learn how to suck your own dick
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:44PM
@ 46: wtf, dude, this is all in good humor.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:48PM
46,
This is why you lose wars.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:49PM
hahaha! look at whos on the guest list. the one between Stephanie from Goldman and Rashia from Cube
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:50PM
I didn't think Qunicy Dickles was going to make it this year. I heard handbridge numbers were good this year.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 12:52PM
@46 you just dont get "it"
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 12:54PM
I always thought the French word for retard was "French," no?
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:00PM
@52 that's why they call "it" je ne sais quoi, innit?
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 1:03PM
@54 C'est vrai, invité
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:31PM
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/kopolovichshelley@gmail.com_575139-1248182807.jpeg
The posting says "sugar come check out my penthouse." The mystic tan and highlights say "dude come check out my chocalate star."
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 30, 2009 1:34PM
What a great guest list. I actually cried from laughing. Stevie Cohen, the guy from Handbridge Capital, etc. Good work all!
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:36PM
Which one of you assclowns put:
Stevie Cohen, A2M Coordinator / Founder?
Thank you for the laugh!!
Posted by highlyconfident , Jul 30, 2009 1:38PM
I did.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 1:40PM
@43
Absolutely not. Even if the list was chock full o' leggy model types I wouldn't wanna be in the same neighborhood. Only thing worse than hot vapid whores and those who chase them is not-so-hot of the same (on both sides).
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 30, 2009 1:45PM
@Anal_yst - Ugly vapid whores are also worse than hot vapid whores.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:47PM
There are some good attendees coming. See bottom of list
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:47PM
@58 awesome
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:52PM
Both Stevie "A2M" Cohen and Warren Buffet (sic) have been accepted. What a thorough screening process.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 1:52PM
which one of you little shits added this?
Stevie Cohen
SAC Capital
A2M Coordinator / Founder
$500,000+
Accepted
Posted by highlyconfident , Jul 30, 2009 1:52PM
Glad to see the BLANUS analyst was accepted ... too bad for Stefan Urquelle.
Posted by NakedShort , Jul 30, 2009 1:56PM
A. Drury is on the list!!!!!
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 30, 2009 2:17PM
I feel like Dealbreaker Paul Tudor Jones movie night would have a much better crowd
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 2:19PM
@65 - a little late to the party?
-58
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 2:20PM
Mi Madre Basemento, LLC... Nice work on that one DB. Laughed so hard I snarfed my iced tea out my nose.
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 2:24PM
@ 47,48,49 & 52.
Don't worry, the retard @ 46 is full of it; the French word for "lateness" is retard, and the state is "en retard"; the 'e' in both noun and verb neither take any accent so tell that guy to fuck off. Oh, the other part of this is hopefully of value -cultural addition- for 32: up here, we call "FUPA" GUNT which is 1/2 gut and 1/2 cunt, don't know if you like that one, but hey, thought I'd try and add some value... The politically correct call it "mooseknuckles", most Cdn girls have it.
-SealClubber
Posted by guest , Jul 30, 2009 3:15PM
Do not snark or drink ice tea at work
LK
Posted by guest , Jul 31, 2009 10:20AM
I'm in the mood for some bestiality - where are the Noel horses?