Speaking of dying in an electrical fire, the third “Fashion Meets Finance” event is coming up. This one, thrown in celebration of the recession supposedly being over, is taking place at Nikki Beach on August 6th. For those who buried the memory of just what this gathering entails, FMF is based on the idea that “women in fashion need men who can facilitate their pre-30 marriage/retirement plan, and men in finance need women who will allow them to leverage their career in their dating equity.” Does the pressing issue of $0-ish bonuses throw a wrench in things? The rètards who organized the event say no.
2008 was a confusing time, but we are here to announce the balance is restoring itself to the ecosystem of the New York dating community. We fear that news of shrinking bonuses, banks closing and the Dow plummeting confused the gorgeous women of the city who understood that their shelf life is quick and fleeting like a senator’s South American love affair. The uncertainty caused panic which caused irrational decisions – there’s going to be a two year blip in the system where a hot fashion girl might commit to a pharmaceutical salesman (this is so much worse than the expected guy selling mortgages at JP Morgan Chase convincing a fashion girl he’s actually in finance).
Fashion Meets Finance has returned to let the women of fashion know that the recession is officially over. It might be a year before bonuses start inflating themselves again, but it will happen. Invest in the future; feel confident in your destiny. Hold on. It will only be a couple more years until you can quit your job and become a tennis mom.
Who can you expect to be in attendance? Dennis Kneale, for one, who enjoys attending conferences of like-minded tail. The rest of the RSVP list is here. A lot of (alleged) JPMorgan employees, a Morgan Stanley MD, and a Citadel “associate” playing it fast and loose with the top buttons.
Don’t they mean a ‘Governer’s South American’ love affair?
A little late. Aren’t we?
Noted Economist Dennis Kneale has called the end to the recession over a month ago now!
@2 which was noted here. now, people are following him, as they should.
the girls at the last one were absolute dogs. the guys were hoboken bank tellers.
Savvy models are buying low, and insisting on anti-a2m provisions in the prenup.
I will be there! Count on it.
-Beaker
There’s going to be some MD’s pissed off at their associates and analysts for being on there . . .
Hey – anyone notice Ted Dibiase near the bottom? Calls into (some) question the reliability of the list.
Bess: the accent grave in “rètards” is everything about why I love your writing.
Anybody know what it takes to become an ‘Auto Finance Documentation Analyst’?
Nice to see that Rico Bonjohnson of Grand Slamma Gamma Capital LLC is coming.
How about Kevin Brown from Highbridge Capitol (sic) Management?
Looks like JD wasn’t kidding when he said government was JPM’s 6th line of business…
2nd at Perkins.
I am on my way to Kinko’s to print out my fund’s cards…worked out fine for that guy last year, what’s the downside?
@13
Make sure to print out some fake ATM reciepts while you’re at it…
The Harlem Chamber of Commerce Fashion Committee be representin!
In Firefox, go to the RSVP list, press Ctril + a few times to zoom in the pics and the text. Much easier to browse. I think I qualify as an “unemployment insurance instrument collection specialist.”
Think this pretty much sums this whole thing up:
Bobby G
dbags anonymous
head of all dbags
$500,000+
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/fakeemail@yahoo.com_3283597079_2e6da41a8d.jpg
under 30????
Does anyone know where I can get a Maybach keychain to put my ’89 Camero keys on prior to attending the event?
@19 You get them at the door when you sign in.
@18 also note the wedding ring?
Wish my name was Bonjohnson. Or Johnsongrande. Something like that.
I like this guy “Aristocracy & Board Member”
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/pjgachjournalist@gmail.com_pj%20mac.jpg
-@23
and a real looker too – http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/viewPhoto.php?imgID=3332
@24 she is crouching over to hide her FUPA; bank on it
From the No Handbridge Needed Dept:
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/jcirera86@yahoo.com_n35402111_3607%5B1%5D.jpg
I haven’t laughed or cried this much since Yentil. You are all on a roll and should be proud.
@27 massive squash tits there. You are going to need the Army Corps of Engineers to stabilize the T Levees during a TF session.
@27
You got any syrup I can put on those flapjacks?
This is how I met my first husband, Mr. Porker Stansberry.
Marney Stansberry
@26: what’s a FUPA? not sure I want to know right before lunch but I figure I’d ask anyway…
WTF is a Camero?
Fat Upper Pussy Area
Robert James
Managing Director
Morgan Stanley
Salary: $100,000-$149,000 ????????????????????????????
@7 The list is credible, The Million Dollar Man was there last year recruiting for Money Inc. Nice business cards. Girls were impressed.
I’m gonna put my seed inside everything there that moves…then fix myself a pastrami on rye.
-CG
What kind of gold digging could POSSIBLY go on here?! All these idiots are in ops. To be fair though, the girls are pretty JV also — bunch of girls in JV jobs in fashion/PR. Pathetic. I guess 2s attract 2s.
Better chance on ‘Seeking Arrangement’.
OK, well if Zoolander is showing up then I guess it is pretty legit.
Anybody else really horny after reading this?
CG
Dear Lord: Thank you, thank you for brightening my day and putting this guy on the RSVP list!
“Rico Bonjohnson…..Grand Slamma Gamma Capital LLCPortfolio Manager……Under $50,000″
Heard Bruno was going/
analyst, are you going?
I’m in! Picture and all.
And I can’t believe they’re so stupid as to let people sign up, unmoderated.
Oh wait – yes I can.
ME: Young-ish , attractive-ish, blond-ish female.. Quintessence of high fashion with staggering knowledge of split strike conversion investment strategies..
YOU: [handsome, charming, articulate]*, Wealthy, Knows how to treat a women and enjoys paying for her sons’ frequent fishing trips.
See you at FMF, daahhling..!
-Ruthie
*not required
rétard, stemming from the french le rétard should be spelled as such an hence with an accent aigu, not grave.
-learn your fuckin french
@46 learn how to suck your own dick
@ 46: wtf, dude, this is all in good humor.
46,
This is why you lose wars.
hahaha! look at whos on the guest list. the one between Stephanie from Goldman and Rashia from Cube
I didn’t think Qunicy Dickles was going to make it this year. I heard handbridge numbers were good this year.
@46 you just dont get “it”
I always thought the French word for retard was “French,” no?
@52 that’s why they call “it” je ne sais quoi, innit?
@54 C’est vrai, invité
http://www.pocketchangenyc.com/fmf/photos/kopolovichshelley@gmail.com_575139-1248182807.jpeg
The posting says “sugar come check out my penthouse.” The mystic tan and highlights say “dude come check out my chocalate star.”
What a great guest list. I actually cried from laughing. Stevie Cohen, the guy from Handbridge Capital, etc. Good work all!
Which one of you assclowns put:
Stevie Cohen, A2M Coordinator / Founder?
Thank you for the laugh!!
I did.
@43
Absolutely not. Even if the list was chock full o’ leggy model types I wouldn’t wanna be in the same neighborhood. Only thing worse than hot vapid whores and those who chase them is not-so-hot of the same (on both sides).
@Anal_yst – Ugly vapid whores are also worse than hot vapid whores.
There are some good attendees coming. See bottom of list
@58 awesome
Both Stevie “A2M” Cohen and Warren Buffet (sic) have been accepted. What a thorough screening process.
which one of you little shits added this?
Stevie Cohen
SAC Capital
A2M Coordinator / Founder
$500,000+
Accepted
Glad to see the BLANUS analyst was accepted … too bad for Stefan Urquelle.
A. Drury is on the list!!!!!
I feel like Dealbreaker Paul Tudor Jones movie night would have a much better crowd
@65 – a little late to the party?
-58
Mi Madre Basemento, LLC… Nice work on that one DB. Laughed so hard I snarfed my iced tea out my nose.
@ 47,48,49 & 52.
Don’t worry, the retard @ 46 is full of it; the French word for “lateness” is retard, and the state is “en retard”; the ‘e’ in both noun and verb neither take any accent so tell that guy to fuck off. Oh, the other part of this is hopefully of value -cultural addition- for 32: up here, we call “FUPA” GUNT which is 1/2 gut and 1/2 cunt, don’t know if you like that one, but hey, thought I’d try and add some value… The politically correct call it “mooseknuckles”, most Cdn girls have it.
-SealClubber
Do not snark or drink ice tea at work
LK
I’m in the mood for some bestiality – where are the Noel horses?