JPMorgan Reports Second-Quarter 2009 Net Income of $2.7 Billion (JPM)
"JPM today reported second-quarter 2009 net income of $2.7 billion, an increase of 36% compared with net income of $2.0 billion in the second quarter of 2008. Earnings per share were $0.28, compared with $0.53 in the second quarter of 2008. Current-quarter earnings per share reflected a one-time, non-cash reduction in net income applicable to common stockholders of $1.1 billion, or $0.27 per share, resulting from repayment of TARP preferred capital." Full press release here.
U.S. Regulators to BofA: Obey or Else (WSJ)
Under threat of management being fired, Bank of America has been ordered to do exactly as the government says. This time not by Hank Paulson! BAC was told in April it must, among other things, "overhaul its board and address perceived problems with risk and liquidity management," with deadlines for getting it all done fast approaching, or Ken Lewis is out of a job.
Harvard Law Tells Students: Don't Panic Over Jobs (Bloomberg)
"If you are looking in D.C., consider Baltimore or Richmond...If you're looking in Chicago, try Milwaukee and St. Louis, too...if you're looking in New York, try Long Island...if you're looking in LA try East Compton."
Obama Bill Seeks To Shine Light On Hedge Funds (NYT)
The plan aims to "counteract any incentive for the largest firms gambling with their size," Michael Barr, U.S. Treasury assistant secretary for financial institutions said.
Plan to unveil City high-flyers' pay (FT)
"The pay and bonuses of hundreds of high-flying City traders and dealmakers will have to be publicly disclosed under a Treasury-backed plan to curb excessive and risky remuneration."
Getting Trumped (NYP)
Pretty upsetting news: Donald Trump's attempt to get a judge to take his libel case wherein Hairpiece accused an author who said his net worth was between $150 million and $250 million and not the $5 billion to $6 billion Trump claims was thrown out in court.
Citi Close To Secret Deal With Regulator (FT)
The proposed agreement requires, among other things, that Citi be Citi, but just a better, less fuck-up-y Citi. Ways it could do this: strengthen board and governance, improve asset quality, better manage expenses and provide more information to regulators on its capital and liquidity. Not really sure why this has to be done in "secret," but SheBair and Vikram are known to love speaking in code and pretending they're starring in a Russian spy movie so, whatevs.
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:03AM
so BAC is on double secret probation?
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:03AM
@1 yes.
-Dean W
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:04AM
what's wrong with East Compton?
-maxine w
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:08AM
@max- nothing. I had my first gig there right out of law school, too. no complaints.
-2pac
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:25AM
@4-2pac I thought you were dead?
-- Snake Plissken
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jul 16, 2009 8:31AM
I forgot about the gentrification of North, South, and West Compton.
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 8:40AM
Anyone have numbers first year cube decoration allowance?
- John Thain and Todd Thomson’s love child
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 9:13AM
Mr Super Trader says: "All the girls on Fox News Business channel are blonds ... "
Me: "I'm not a big fan of blonds"
I look round and the tasty blond intern is giving me a dirty look.
Oh well. gimme somethin' to shoot.
-- Snake Plissken
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 9:16AM
Hairpiece has a network?
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jul 16, 2009 9:23AM
Hairpiece shouldn't feel bad; as a consolation prize he gets to pick the lt. gov of NJ.
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 9:28AM
when did FBN start advertizing on CNBC? WTF?
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 9:32AM
try Long Island?!?!
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 9:38AM
@11 As long as you pay me I don't give a fuck what you're advertising. Isn't that the mantra for all advertising in the US? Almost anything goes ...
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 10:06AM
If you're looking in St. Louis, consider East St. Louis. If you're looking in Seattle, try Canada. If you're looking in Miami, try Cuba.
If you're looking in New York, go fuck yourself.
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 10:20AM
The Don and Bernie are both from the same Fantasy Land address. Bernie is just a lot smarter and better and making money for himself. The Don may be a little crazier and is only dangerous to himself and anyone stupid enough to lend him money. He should sue LDyke for accusing him of filing BK 6 times in defense of the his own BK.
Posted by guest , Jul 16, 2009 1:00PM
AT 14- Best comment of the day.