Our First Test Of Gastrointestinal Fortitude This Summer!

Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 16, 2009, 1:19pm

Is set to go down at Phoenix Partners Group, where a summer intern will attempt to consume 70 chicken McNuggets in 60 minutes. Once completed he must hold the food down for an additional half hour. He is allowed to drink as much water as necessary during the challenge. If successful, he'll score $2,500 in addition to 10 percent of all losing wagers. I don't think I have to remind you people that, to date, for the most part, when it comes to these tests, you've all been phenomenal failures. The most recent attempt was by a RBSGC employee, who endeavored to consume 40 vending machine items in less than an hour, with $400 at stake. He didn't run out of time, but after 36 "puked in someone's 82%-paid-for-by-the-UK-government garbage pail," and couldn't find it in himself to rally. Before that, it was a BlackRock analyst who had HOURS to eat a few mini-sized snacks from the vending machine, and, of course, blew it. Basically, the only men among you are Oyster Boy, and the kid who ate three cans of cat food at Wachovia. I don't think I have to tell you, we need this.

Update: A little color from the front lines:

He's a string bean. He'll be a college freshman in the fall. He's trying to pace himself -- one/two McNuggets every minute. There is a lot of sell volume at the 70 level. Buyers are hard to find until you hit the 60. Some odd lot artist from Barclays tried to buy 65 for a lousy $50. Wtf -- round lot orders only please Barclays!

Update II: Okay, he's housed 34 with 32 minutes to go. Apparently the McNuggets are starting to congeal. According to an on-looker, "he's a willowy lad, but I think he might have the balls to pull it off."

Update III: 8 nuggets left, 7 minutes to go. "He's looking pretty ill."

Update IV: Failure. Final tally: 63, i.e. the last 7 minutes were spend consuming one nugget and staring at the others through tears. According to a superior, "He's in the bathroom. I think we need a new intern."

For those of you commenting you could've done it or a similar feat in less than ten, let's see your clippers.

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