Is set to go down at Phoenix Partners Group, where a summer intern will attempt to consume 70 chicken McNuggets in 60 minutes. Once completed he must hold the food down for an additional half hour. He is allowed to drink as much water as necessary during the challenge. If successful, he’ll score $2,500 in addition to 10 percent of all losing wagers. I don’t think I have to remind you people that, to date, for the most part, when it comes to these tests, you’ve all been phenomenal failures. The most recent attempt was by a RBSGC employee, who endeavored to consume 40 vending machine items in less than an hour, with $400 at stake. He didn’t run out of time, but after 36 “puked in someone’s 82%-paid-for-by-the-UK-government garbage pail,” and couldn’t find it in himself to rally. Before that, it was a BlackRock analyst who had HOURS to eat a few mini-sized snacks from the vending machine, and, of course, blew it. Basically, the only men among you are Oyster Boy, and the kid who ate three cans of cat food at Wachovia. I don’t think I have to tell you, we need this.
Update: A little color from the front lines:
He’s a string bean. He’ll be a college freshman in the fall. He’s trying to pace himself — one/two McNuggets every minute. There is a lot of sell volume at the 70 level. Buyers are hard to find until you hit the 60. Some odd lot artist from Barclays tried to buy 65 for a lousy $50. Wtf — round lot orders only please Barclays!
Update II: Okay, he’s housed 34 with 32 minutes to go. Apparently the McNuggets are starting to congeal. According to an on-looker, “he’s a willowy lad, but I think he might have the balls to pull it off.”
Update III: 8 nuggets left, 7 minutes to go. “He’s looking pretty ill.”
Update IV: Failure. Final tally: 63, i.e. the last 7 minutes were spend consuming one nugget and staring at the others through tears. According to a superior, “He’s in the bathroom. I think we need a new intern.”
For those of you commenting you could’ve done it or a similar feat in less than ten, let’s see your clippers.
I would do that for half the money…damn my cheap ass firm
go! go! go! go!
that is a challenge?
Critical question is he allowed to use dipping sauce? If so can he choose more than one flavor?
Don’t they come in packs of 6? Are the remaining 2 for extra credit?
Greg you suck.
Oh this is a Bess post? Ha, Bess you’re hilarious! Love it!
@5 oh, so we have a college boy in the house?
-ronald mcdonald
@6 let it go, Greg
I hope he doesn’t read a Greg post during his attempt, we may have a “reversal.”
Anybody else think pacing yourself and eating 1-2/minute is the worst strategy in history?
Finally some humor
That bid was $50,000 worm!
-Bob Diamond
@10: yes I think he should do 5-10 every 5 minutes.
Mmm a nice 3,220 calorie hour.
@1 LOL!
I would do it for $500
~livin’ in retail hell~
anyone want some CIT paper…I got plenty of it…
honestly is this hard? I could nail 20 in under 5 mins no freaking sweat.
Of all things, THIS is what we need live blogging for. None of that Paulson crap.
Let us know what happens
I thought it said Gasparinointestinal.
@13 – Studies have shown that strategy to be more effective over @10′s
@17 apparently bess is doing both
@10: Agreed. You have to wolf down as many as you can before the stomach tells the brain “I’m full.”
Still, I say this guy blows chunks all over the table at 50…
How the fuck is this a challenge?
@23 let’s see you do it
There must be streaming vid of this somewhere.
First GI test on July 16th?! C’mon, there must have been some before today. Let’s hear about some others.
@19: Only applies if it involves massive amounts of strombol
challenge? that’s fuckin lunch.
-cg
Sonia Thomas scoffs
Chicken Nuggets
80 Chicken Nuggets
5 Minutes
Sonya Thomas
http://www.ifoce.com/records.php
OFF THE International Competitive Food Eating website
Chicken Nuggets
80 Chicken Nuggets
5 Minutes
Sonya Thomas
http://www.ifoce.com/records.php
Bess, whaddya say you throw in some scratch and organize a monthly interoffice GF throwdown?
Sotomayor eats twice that amount of nuggets for lunch. Whats the bid deal?
@30 whoa– we think alike
/29
Cow Brains
57 (17.7 pounds)
15 minutes
Takeru Kobayashi
Lame. Last year at my old fund i housed 55 nuggets in 10 minutes
Lame. Last year at my old fund i housed 55 nuggets in 10 minutes
Any Sauce? Sweet & Sour? BBQ?
Lame. Last year at my old fund i housed 55 nuggets in 10 minutes
@10 – agreed, I think the strat should be to eat quickly, why give it time to expand in your stomach? what kind of chop shop is this kid working at? and why would he do this – what an @ssclown, I guess he’s not looking to get hired back.
You should have seen the 100lb analyst at Bear Energy attempt to suck (and i do mean suck) down a dozen glazed donuts in 30 minutes for $1000. She stopped at 9 1/2 and was paid $300. Then there was the power trader with little man syndrome who wolfed down six stick of melted butter for $500 and ralphed 30 min later. The pot was $25,000 for a chick who’d shave her head on the trade floor. No dice.
1 Problem- The challenge is pointless. I have a friend whom I watched eat 80 nuggets in just under 1hr. Let’s make this interesting- I have a champion over here who is ready for the challenge.
@35,36,38. It must have fucked up your head, only need to hit post once dumbass
@39: Speaking of chop shop and strategies — how about putting all 70 nuggets in a blender and just drinking the whole thing? How hard could that be?
@35,36,38. It must have fucked up your head, only need to hit post once dumbass
@35,36,38. It must have fucked up your head, only need to hit post once dumbass
@42, 45 way to take your own advice champ
@41 email dealbreaker and let’s get it on.
@35,36,38. It must have fucked up your head, only need to hit post once dumbass
@ 35, 36, 38
I heard it was 49, too bad they weren’t cheesesteaks
@42,45,46 way to follow up an insult to perfection. bet you feel really chodish now
lets see 2760 calories, 174g of fat (~250% dv), 420mg cholesterol (~140% dv)…
someone get this kid a cardiologist, STAT!
@52 Mark Haines eats this much every sitting. No big deal.
Bernie has to eat 3 dicks in 15 minutes, or till shower time ends, while taking it in the ass…
@54 ha, nice.
@53 this is a snack for me. a weak snack.
-MH
Well, how’d slim fare?
@57 see update IV
@31: excellent idea. How about the First Annual Oyster Boy Memorial? Open to all contenders over the age of 18. Location TBD. Charge an entry fee and a more modest spectator fee. All proceeds to the winner.
Maybe we can persuade Charlie Gasparino to make Italian meatballs for the contest food?
Hey guys ,)
FAILURE! Let that be a lesson to him. Pacing does not work. One needs to eat as much as possible up front, before the stomach begins to send chemical signals to the brain to shut off the consumption.
I am going to surpass this in like 20 mins at churrascaria tonight. bam roasted
FAIL!
What a pussy.
-J. Chestnut
BLARRRRRRF!
Bess, great Big Daddy reference. Classic Buscemi.
@66 It’s one of my personal faves.
OFF THE International Competitive Food Eating website
Chicken Nuggets
80 Chicken Nuggets
5 Minutes
Sonya Thomas
HOly shit, are you fucking kiding me?
THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!
@cluzo
Apparently this kid was fresh out of high school. Which makes me envy the kind of pull that his family has.
this is why he’s an intern, still clueless. everyone knows that you don’t realize your full until 15 minutes after the fact. thus, he should have stuffed said mcnuggs down his throat as quickly as possible. damn fool!
this is an epic fail here people.
@34 blender idea won’t work. I put three burgers in a blender and tried to drink in college.. almost chucked after only one-half. Texture is wrong.
The key to success – exercise for several hours e before going to work. I biked up to Bear Mountain last Sunday and ate three shakeshack double cheeseburgers, fries and a beer when I got back, no problem. 70 chick McN would have been a breeze.
@72 “I put three burgers in a blender and tried to drink in college”
that’s fucking disgusting.
Exactly. Speed is life in this sort of competition. But I have rep for interns since I’m back in school: we’re not entirely stupid, people. Just use small words and speak with a slow, gentle tone when you address us.
Crap, my #’s were off, multiply them by 1.16, this stringbean is gonna blow the F’ up over the next 2 days
@analyst- from 3k calories? there are 3,500 calories in a pound. even if he doesn’t have the metabolism associated with being 18 (which, given that he’s described as a ‘string bean,’ he probably does), he’ll be fine.
@anal- do you have fat shame?
@anal he can go for a long run. You ate that many calories just doing high school sports.
This is a joke. I do this every day on the way to work.
-m bartiromo
@73 Yes. The colour was particularly bad too, kind of off-grey. Another icky detail – had to add touch of beer to successfully blend because burgers were too dry.
@72. It’s timing issue. I am guessing the late stage McNuggets got all greasy and nasty. Bite into a bit of grizzle and its lights out. 70 fresh McNuggets would tough, but 20-30 tired, lifeless McNuggets is nigh impossible. Exercise or not.
@80 Wow…my lunch just came regurgitating back. Thank you for that.
Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass’ stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife’s tits.
@79 FTW
boom ba ba boom
Gasparino has the hands to pull it off…
@83/trojan – well played. Stand By Me is a classic.
@76/77/78
By “explode” i didn’t mean with fat, I meant he’s gonna epically sh*t his brains out.
Too bad there’s none in NYC (suburbs anyone?) but I’d like to see the Fuddruckers Challenge, not too bad, its more for time:
1 lb burger with 4oz pump cheese, lettuce, tomatos, 1 order chili cheese fries, 1 large milkshake (choice of flavor). That should be somewhere around the 3,000 calorie mark as well, but much more delicious than the single-food challenges.
@ Novice (74) http://dealbreaker.com/2009/04/post-94.php
@86 gasparino doesn’t eat with his hands, he uses a feed bag.
@90 this is true.
-cg
@5 late to the party mcdonald’s sells 20 packs b1tch
@92. Thanks, now please get back under my desk.
THIS GUY DEFINITELY KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT
Dissapointing. Chick on my team ate 40 nuggets in 30 minutes and maybe weighs 120 lbs soaking wet. She’s up for a video conference one-on-one challenge. Bess – can this site handle streaming video? Chick is hot so pay per view possibilities.
I attempted to eat 3, 500 gram jars of peanut butter in 30 minutes for $1000.
Ate the first in 6 minutes, then got halfway though the second over the next 12. And then quit. Went home that day, and laid down on the couch. Thought I was going to die.
Final Tally: 4550 calories and 390 grams of fat(600% of dv)
sonya thomas:
http://money.cnn.com/2005/07/01/pf/eating_to_live/sonya_thomas.jpg
go figure.
@ 45, 46, 49- Forgot how to use a computer?
WTF? I eat this much without being challenged……….pussy
100 !