Picking up where the expired Trader Monthly left off, Dealbreaker is compiling our own who’s who list of buy-side all-stars (which you will be able to select for your DB fantasy team at a later date). We’re taking nominations now. Info we’ll need on your draft picks:
- Age
- Current Firm
- Previous Firm(s) if any
- Position
- Sector/Asset Class
- College
- Hometown
- Other things you’d like us to know

Remember Robin Katz, from yesterday? Of course you do. Anyway, like we said, girlfriend’s looking for a) $50,000 bail to get her out of Riker’s and b) a new job (her dream is Oppenheimer but will entertain other offers), on account of JPMorgan Chase having a problem with the financial adviser creating an extra ATM card in the name of one of her clients and helping herself to $100,00 or so over the course of a year. To the end, and as unofficial headhunters for Katz, we’d just like to put it out there that say what you will about her crime, but could it really have been so bad, given that her victim still doesn’t know about it? The Post got in touch with Dorone Illan Farber, who apparently has no idea about any of this.

Farber, a broker for Hilliard, Farber & Co., a Wall Street company owned by his uncle, loves cards and placed 128th in the 2008 World Series of Poker. He won $4,216.
When asked by phone yesterday about the pilfering of his bank account, he told a reporter, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Oh, and a new pic of Katz eating a strawberry has been procured (we’re partial to the domestic one, and will use it exclusively).

August looks set to be the month of Mad Max. The derivatives diva is a bit irritated that lobbyists are starting to win the battle against the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency by targeting politicians who rely on Rolling Stone to teach them about the evils at GS.

“We think they’ve hired three lobbyists for each one of us,” Rep. Maxine Waters said at the rally, adding that lobbyists were “running up and down these halls” persuading lawmakers who don’t work primarily on financial matters.

As a result, Maxie has vowed that she will be ramping up her speaking engagements around the country next month. She will be spreading the message that only through the CFPA will people rest easy knowing that the woman previously famous for threatening to nationalize the US petroleum industry has their back when it comes to preventing unsuitable investment proposals.

Not sure what exactly they’re taking issue with (obviously there’s much to choose from), or why this guy get a free pass.
Update: Our photographer informs us the signs read “Stop the injustice at Stella D’Oro,” forcing us to ask, why does Lloyd Blankfein hate cookies?
Update II: Brynwood Partners owns Stella D’Oro, and wants to sell it to Lance, Inc., a North Carolina-based manufacturing and marketing firm, sans the Bronx plant. The cookie makers are upset about this, and believe that Goldman has the power to stop the deal from going through.

In the words of TBP himself, the little driveway incident wasn’t so much theft as a rescue mission.

I was disappointed at the state of disrepair my grandmother’s house had fallen into, with broken windows, overgrown yard and a deteriorating condition…. I was sad, and felt a desire to protect what cherished memories I could, most notably the cement that I etched my name into the sidewalk as a youth….I knew it was city property and, in hindsight, regret that I did not work with the appropriate city officials to seek their permission

But TBP offered up a lot more than just a heart felt apology to the current owner of grandma Pickens’ place.

If it helps, I’m more than willing to return to Holdenville and etch my name in new cement, if they deem it appropriate

If not, then they’ll just have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night and discovering their house is cruising at 35mph on a trailer headed towards the Texas Panhandle.

So, AIG was supposed to be paying senior executives millions in bonuses today, but Reuters is now reporting that the plan has hit a bump in the road, that bump being Kenneth Feinberg. AIG, of course, put in a request with the Compensation Cop for permission make it rain like weeks ago but Kenny hasn’t given them the go-ahead just yet. What’s the hold up some antsy employees, shooting off e-mails to Ed Liddy, Subject: “I Gots To Get PAID,” would like to know? Apparently some BS about having to convince Feinberg they deserve it, will be good this time, and have “struck the right balance to discourage excessive risk taking and reward performance.” In happier dolla dolla billz news, Morgan Stanley has set aside 72% of revenue for employee pay, prompting Brad Hintz to note, “It was a very good quarter to be a Morgan Stanley employee. I’m not so sure it was so good to be a Morgan Stanley shareholder.” Oh yeah, he went there.

Forget throwing down seven or eight figures to give to the silver haired guy who promised returns of 10-15% annually; the real opportunists found South African Barry Tannenbaum. BT used his family’s presence in the pharmaceutical industry as a launchpad to lure investors by promising returns of at least 15% every 12 weeks through the purchase of raw materials to be sold to drugmakers. Those lucky enough to partner with Tannenbaum when he was “making” 3%/wk through his opportunistic investing in AIDS drugs are now wondering where their collective 2 billion rand wound up going. As the roughly 400 investors look for payback, the pharma fraud takes issue with any comparison to King Ponz.

“Your attempt to compare me with Madoff isn’t only odious, but is blatantly and patently incorrect without any factual foundation and sensationalist,” Tannenbaum said in a July 8 e- mail.

He is right; not even Bernie played the ‘helping children with AIDS in Africa’ card.

And obviously, we dig it. ABC had a little chat with the TARP Inspector General (which you can listen to here), on the matter of that $23.7 trillion estimate. As you’re aware, Barofsky said earlier this week that the total tab could be way higher than previously expected, which the government via Steve Liesman almost immediately shot down, claiming the numbers were inflated, had been pulled out of Barofsky’s ass, and just generally got in a huff (without offering their own number. You’re not going to box them into that, they’ll do it on their own terms, pal). The General came back this morning to suggest that “perhaps their criticism is that we dare to do math,” and, claws still dangling:

“I think that the Treasury Department ought to read the report before they make comments, at least the spokesperson’s office…Our methodology is laid out in black and white in the report…As far as the numbers being inflated, where do you think we got the numbers from? We got it from the Treasury Department, we got it from the Federal Reserve…If these numbers are inflated, it’s because they inflated them when they put them out in the public, not because of us.”
“This recent attack on my report is really, in many ways, an attack on basic transparency — of not wanting the American people in a certain way to see exactly what’s going on in their government as included in our report…with respect to this program, they’ve not met their claims that this is going to be ‘unprecedented transparency,’ as President Obama suggested there would be.”

Geithner/Liesman, your rebuttal?

The Erin Andrews reference is obvious but what is a reverse peep-hole PR blitz? If we’re working with Seinfeld rules here, then there’s a repairman at the Francis residence right now rigging things up so that when you get to the door, you get to see what’s going on inside, whatever that may be. Is that…what we’re getting at here? And will it be MF on the other side, or is this some sort of hazing ritual for the pool-boy?

I’m not asking if you’d want to, I’m asking if you could. For many of you it won’t come to that, and for those receiving record bonuses this year, the question isn’t so much could you live in a cave but when will I be able to move into the sweet manse I bought from a Mexican drug lord? But not everyone will be so lucky and we need to prepare you for a reality that may be just around the corner by asking, could you hack it? Daniel Suelo can and seems to be pretty happy doing so, by choice, for the almost decade. If the answer is fuck to the no, there’s no shame in that, and remember, if you’ve been saving, you can always pitch a tent in Brooklyn.
In related news, the heir-apparent to Berkshire Hathaway, Ajit Jain, will be living not in a cave but Marc Dreier’s old pad, which he outbid 45 people to land for $8.2 million. The pad overlooks the Queensboro Bridge and came with a signed photo of Dreier and Diana Ross.
Could You Survive Without Money? Meet The Guy Who Does [Details]

With a 23 percent return for the taxpayer! Look for the check in the mail, don’t spend it all in one place! The Salt of The Earth had this to say on the occasion:

“This return is reflective of the government’s assistance, which benefitted the financial system, our firm and our shareholders. We are grateful for the government efforts and are pleased that this additional money can be used by the government to revitalize the economy, a priority in which we all have a common stake.”

Goldman Sachs Pays $1.1 Billion to Redeem TARP Warrants [CNBC]