Last week TheStreet.com pulled an article that dared to mention the fact that Lenny Dykstra had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and jokingly (?) suggested you “short Dykstra rookie cards.” Today we’re told the site has censored another story on Nails’ and his financial trubs. This one was not taken down entirely, but instead edited to remove any (essentially innocuous, compared to what they could have said) references to L-Dykes. This was the original copy:
Robert Marcin
Insana, Nails, Meredith
7/13/2009 2:38 PM EDT
If I heard Ron right, he was “doubling down” on homebuilders and banks with proceeds from defensive tech, staples and health care. It’s an aggressive call, but both sectors had been hit hard in the recent correction and offered decent entry points. It’s the averaging down that’s the problem.
I didn’t think Meredith was all that positive. Sure, there are gimmicks the banks can use to help EPS. And, the capital raises necessary to fund the deficits are huge and come with fees. But so bad it’s good is not an investing theme in my opinion.
How much money has been lost on the oil drop tax cut theme? Another gimmick trade that can work for days but doesn’t have legs. And speaking of no legs, what the heck happened to Nails? Not a lot of kudos there.
The new version, behind a subscription wall, is merely called “Insana, Meredith,” and lacks the last two lines. So– kinda shady! We get that TSC-founder Jim Cramer is attempting to distance himself from former employee and friend LD, and the bold call JC made back in March 2008 that Lenny-boy is one of the greatest investors of our time. But this is getting ridic. Also? JC could be making some money here. Who in financial journalism knows Nails better than Uncle Jim? Who has the early drafts of this column? Who’s got the outtakes of this photoshoot? This is sort of thing we, and I don’t think we’re alone here, would actually pay to view on TSC. In fact, if we weren’t cornering the market ourselves, we’d suggest that they convert the entire site to exclusive coverage of the big man.
It looks like we’re taking the fraud lawsuits up a notch to the sovereign level. CNBC is reporting that a $24 billion class action lawsuit has been filed against the nation of Antigua (2007 GDP: $1.2 billion) in connection with Sir Allen’s dealings. The lawsuit alleges that in light of the size and scope of the fraud, the Antiguan government simply had to been in on it. If that is really the standard being set today, the SEC might want to make a couple deposits into its ‘Madoff legal reserve’ fund.
From JDubs’ (actual) Twitter account, a terrifying update from wife Suzy. Interesting that CNBC has yet to mention the health scare, when they’re more than happy to give us hourly updates on Art Cashin’s recurring urinary tract infections. In other Jacky-boy news, there is no life-balance, and if any of you (Dennis Kneale) were thinking of taking a few years off to raise kids and breast feed, you can kiss your career good-bye.
Great news for ripped off Madoff investors and school children alike! For the last few months, both groups have been dying to get in touch with the guy, either to tell him how much he sucks or to continue what was a pretty lively pen-pal relationship before the shit hit the fan. Unfortunately, there was some skittish-ness about sending mail to a correctional facility and the lines of communication dried up. Now, thanks to the good people at MadoffMail.com, we’re back in the B-boy zone.
Whether you were one of his victims or not, now’s your chance to tell him how you feel. Send your letters, drawing, poems, photographs, posters, collages, doodes, and other Madoff correspondence to madoffmail@gmail.com. On every six-month anniversary of Madoff’s prison term, we’ll send your submissions to Madoff’s prison cell in a MadoffMail Care Package.
[via P6]
Some investors who were “victims” of a Ponzi scheme in Texas may have found a way to turn their losses into fraud-squared gains. Derrich Pollock, whose financial background included stints working in an auto supply store and selling vitamin supplements, took in about $6.2 million from investors and ran his Bernie-like scheme. However, he also took out $9 million in insurance policies on himself which went to investors upon his death. When Pollock died in a plane crash in 2007, investors stepped up to the plate to collect.
But when local securities regulators had a closer look at Pollock’s empire, they discovered he wasn’t quite the stock genius you’d expect from somebody with an auto parts background. Between the remaining assets and the life insurance payments, investors (some of whom allegedly knew Pollock was running a Ponzi scheme) have already received 105% of what they invested. Now Pollock’s wife, who filed for bankruptcy, is going after some of the investors for their winnings. Ruth Madoff may have a way to avoid taking the subway after all.
Widow of man who ran Ponzi scheme wants investors to return their profits [Austin American-Statesman]
Barney Frank is scheduled to appear on The Daily Show tonight. Jon Stewart and Co. presumably have a rough idea of what they want to ask the guy at this afternoon’s taping, but on the off chance they’re still trying to come up with some good brain busters and are perusing the internet for material, is there anything you’d particularly like Stewart to throw BF’s way? What it’s like to work alongside Maxine? Salacious details of his craziest night on the strip? Rationale behind telling Fannie and Freddie to chill with the lending standards? Grooming habits? Play by play of what looks like it was quite the rousing game of water volleyball this weekend?
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So much unhappiness wafting from the House of Dimon these days! As you all know, the fall of Bear didn’t just result in Jimmy Cayne finding it necessary to economize with a switch to crack-laced joints. It also meant a whole lot of lucky Bear guys– the ones who didn’t get fired– taking their off shoes, unbuckling their belts and putting their feet up on the desk at the House of Dimon. The legacy JPM-ers tolerated the new additions at first, thinking it wouldn’t be long before the BSC-ers got the boot. Unfortunately, things didn’t exactly turn out that way! Specifically they’re talking about wanting to take Jeff Urwin, former Bear co-head of investment banking and current Head of Investment Banking Coverage in the Americas at JPM, out in a body bag. Since the guy who could conceivably sign off on that, Doug Braunstein, is not taking calls at the moment, we’ve been asked to put out the word, on the off chance he’s blowing off steam on DB.
Bankers at JPM are seriously disgruntled. We’ve endured Jeff Urwin for over a year now, but no one expected him to last this long. He’s created an enormous amount of bureaucracy – everything from making bankers track the hours of their day like lawyers to disciplining bankers who don’t have more than 250 clicks on certain internal websites. Creating all of these bullshit systems and internal bureaucracy just allow him to justify his existence. To add insult to injury, Big Brother hasn’t seen clients in over a decade and wouldn’t know how to sell a life vest to a drowning man. Senior bankers, including myself, are fed up, but Doug Braunstein seems to be oblivious. We’ve been asked to cut costs in every way possible, but I see this big piece of fat called Jeff Urwin that could certainly be cut.
Without having performed out standard on-site diligence to observe Urwin in the zone, we’re going to put out an early suggestion that he’d probably score mucho brownie points with the team by doing something as simple as bringing back lucite plaqutes.
We may finally have a game of corporate default poker in which everybody at the table knows the rules and what they can and can’t do. Player 1, CIT Group, continues its campaign to be considered a systemically critical institution warning that its failure could create a crisis for 300,000 retailers. Player 2, the FDIC, has stated that the firm’s TGLP application is resting comfortably in the ‘NFW’ pile. And Player 3, Turbo Tax spokesman Tim Geithner, commented on the CIT situation today saying he is “actually pretty confident in that context we have the authority and the ability to make sensible choices”. Clearly this will end in tears for somebody but, for once, lovers of the blame game will know exactly where to point the finger. It’s time for Barney Frank to step up to the microphone and issue the ‘shuffle up and deal’ command.
Update: In what has become the barometer for whether or not a situation warrants any real concern, Goldman recently issued a statement pointing out that it has “no material exposure” to CIT. You can now exhale.
I bet a lot of you probably thought that Lenny Dykstra wouldn’t be happy with the fact that he’s several pounds, concussions and meth binges removed from his fighting weight, and that anyone who’s ever done business with the guy is now claiming he owes them big money. Well think again, derelicts! Nails, pictured here chewing on his favorite combo of dip and Twizzlers, absolutely loves it. He knows every single claim is unfounded bull, filed by crooks (WaMu especially, and by extension, Jamie Dimon). Here are some thoughts LD shared on the matter this weekend. On a personal note, now, more than ever, our offer of a columnist gig for the wordsmith, who seems to have only gotten more poetic with each blow to the skull, stands:
“F—— derelicts,” Dykstra snaps about his growing list of hostile ex-business partners. “Where’s a real respected businessman in our society who’s suing me? We don’t see one, do we?” Of his creditors, Dykstra says, “Look at these clowns…I love it, baby…Pile it on, bro.”
As for countersuits, which will be filed just as soon as L to the D and his lawyer figure out how fill out the forms, Nails warns: “It’s gonna be a big old … right hook, and it’s gonna take a lot of people down.” On a related note, Kevin Coughlin, a former executive at Dykstra’s magazine, “The Players Club,” has diagnosed LD as exhibiting signs of “a classic psychopath,” which Coughlin, showing no appreciation for the fact that this condition allows the big man to call out a fucking derelict clown when he sees one, seems to imply is a bad thing.
As the second quarter creative accounting season gets set to kick off, the SEC has identified another tangent to focus on. In addition to the Steve Jobs health conspiracy, the SEC has decided that now is the time to take a hard line on climate change. Having closely scrutinized all the major contributing factors to the economic freefall last year, Mary Schapiro’s troops are starting at the top of the list and looking at the critical failure of companies to disclose or even mention the impact of climate change on their business. One of the SEC commissioners, Elisse Walters, aptly summed up the senselessness of this initiative by pointing out:
“We have a lot of internal education to do,” she said. “This obviously is not an agency populated with climate experts, and we’re going to talk to everyone who is knowledgeable in the area, who’s willing to talk to us. We’ll educate ourselves, and then we’ll decide — the staff will decide — what to put before the commission or not.”
Bernie never would have been able to get away with his little scheme had the SEC been looking into his power bills.
SEC Turnaround Sparks Sudden Look at Climate Disclosure [NYT]
