In Maxine Waters’ most recent step towards her Holy Grail of legislating Goldman out of existence, everyone’s favorite Representative from the IOU state wants CDS banned for good. Drawing on her many years of experience as a derivatives guru, Mad Max now thinks that financial stability can only be achieved by putting the kibosh on credit default swaps.
Credit-default swaps are one of many contributing factors to the current economic crisis. Preventing all credit-default swaps is essential to bringing stability to the market and preventing a similar crisis in the future.
If only she believed that preventing the financially illiterate from proposing derivatives legislation was essential to bringing stability to the market and preventing a similar crisis in the future.
Larry Kudlow: “I’m against…nymphomania.”
Update: Perhaps Kuds is just trying to prove to sponsors he’s a family man, after Charles Schwab put it out there that it’s not down with CNBC smut?
According to multiple sources, Charles Schwab, a regular sponsor of the 5pmET Fast Money program (as well as others) pulled its sponsorship from the program after a preview segment made it seem like Schwab was associated with the sex documentary, “Porn: Business of Pleasure.” Melissa Lee, anchor of Fast Money, also hosts the “Porn” special.
Chuck Schwab Not Hot For CNBC Porn Doc [Mediaite via CWS]
Related: Melissa Lee Is The First Thing Bill Griffeth Thinks Of When He Thinks Of Porn
It turns out there is a limit to the list of well-run companies that government agencies are willing to bail out or prop up. CIT Group has been trying to convince SheBair and her underlings that they are worthy of FDIC backing for new bond issuance under the Temporary Liquidity Guarantee Program. However, so far CIT’s application has fallen short of the lofty standards set by FDIC guarantee recipients such as GMAC and SheBair would prefer to worry about selling her house rather than CIT’s deteriorating financial condition. The rating agencies have even done their part to unintentionally throw some salt in CIT’s wounds. GMAC qualified for the FDIC’s training wheels with C/CCC (Moody’s/S&P) ratings, but Ba2/BB- rated CIT did not.
FDIC Said to Withhold CIT Debt Guarantees Due to Risk [Bloomberg]
Specifically in Healthcare, where the Swiss need a Director and a whole bunch of associates, since he who shall not be named (Ben Lorello) took off for the powerhouse that is Jefferies and brought his minions with him. UBS says it wants someone with “outstanding extracurricular achievement,” though we have it on good authority HR is keeping its expectations very low, and is simply looking for a mammal. Apply today!
Title: Investment Banking Director – Healthcare
Location: United States – New York
City: New York
Function Category: Investment Banking
Business Divisions: Investment Bank
Job Type: Full Time
Description: Directors who join the Investment Banking Department’s Global Healthcare Group are provided with a broad-based investment banking experience. Directors will be generalists in the group so afforded the ability to work across the full compliment of heathcare subsectors including large cap pharma, specialty pharma, biotech, HCIT, hospitals, REITS, pharma marketing/retailing/wholesale/distributing, facilities, and managed care/health insurance/HMOs. You can expect to actively participate in a variety of transactions ranging from advisory work in Mergers and Acquisitions to debt and equity offerings, both domestic and cross-border. Directors can be involved in every aspect of transaction analysis and execution from start (pitch/marketing) to finish (close/pricing).
As a Director in the Investment Banking Department you would be responsible for pitching to clients for business and the day-to-day management of corporate finance transaction processes, including:
• raising debt finance
• accessing equity markets
• assisting clients to restructure their balance sheets as appropriate
• financial analysis and valuation of various strategic outcomes
• resolving issues of a financial nature
• quality checking and taking responsibility for the work of junior colleagues
• negotiating engagement letters, confidentiality agreements and other agreements
• drafting press releases and management presentations for public offers
• application of financial accounting rules
• application of detailed valuation/financial modeling skills
• applying working knowledge of relevant local and international company law, stock exchange, take-over and other regulations
• responsibility for drafting discrete elements of and whole documents
• develop interaction with clients and other professionals
• preparing timetables and transaction management documents etc.
Continue reading »
AIG Asks Compensation Cop Kenneth Feinberg Permission To Pay Bonuses (AIG)
“Dealing with AIG is expected to be one of the thorniest tasks for Mr. Feinberg.” Which is not to say that dealing with Citi won’t be like taking a kabob stick to the urethra, it just won’t also have spikes and be administered at the same time as the testicle clamps.
Ex-Goldman Programmer Detailed His Code Downloads to FBI Agent (Bloomberg)
“I have uploaded files to svn.xp-dev.com on multiple occasions over the last couple months,” Aleynikov said in the FBI statement.
In France, A Victory For Lance (WSJ)
The Frogs used to hate old One Ball but they’re warming to him now. “The thing I respect about him is, he sets himself a goal, and keeps going. He trains like a madman–more than the French,” said Sénéchal Béranger. Of course, OB’s biggest critic has not changed his opinion just yet, though perhaps they’ll bond later this summer over juicing stories.
Goldman Sachs Reverts to Pre-Lehman Risk Mean as Profits Surge (Bloomberg)
2007 bonuses–or better– comin’ at ya!
Egypt seizes explosives cache in Sinai (Reuters)
Egypt has seized 700 kg of explosives in a mountainous area near its border with Israel, according to a security source.
Is Citi Making Nice With Regulators? (NYT)
Will the recent reshuffling of top management ingratiate the bank to regulators? It’s a start, though a foot massage and pedicure for SheBair, administered by Pandit while he talked about the FDIC chair in Korean to his colleagues at the nail salon, would’ve sealed the deal.
Sky Capital Hit Brits (NYP)
Ross Mandell and colleagues took 400 or so British retail investors for a ride during their decade-long scam.
SEC Calls for Calif. IOUs Treated as Securities (NYT)
Securities and Exchange Commission recommended Thursday that the IOUs, which carry an annual interest rate of 3.75 percent, be regulated by the Municipal Securities Rulemaking Board as a form of municipal debt.
$$$ Citadel Sues Former Workers Who Started Firm That Hired Sergey “Dancing Feet” Aleynikov [Chicago Business]
$$$ City whizkid/Deutsche Bank employee ‘was completely normal‘ just hours before jumping to his death from roof-top restaurant [Daily Mail]
$$$ Analyst Says AIG’s Equity May Vanish [Dealbook]
$$$ Bernard Madoff “is doing OK,” said lawyer Ira Sorkin [TDB]
$$$ “We are embarrassed and disappointed by our 2008 performance, and we feel an obligation to you to turn this around,” wrote Mr. Feinberg. “But we just don’t know when and how much pain we must take before that happens.” [WSJ]
The count is now set for what will be the world’s largest game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. A total of over 15,400 claims made it in by the July 2nd deadline to get a piece of what is left of King Ponzi’s empire.
15,400 File Claims in Madoff Ponzi Scheme [NYT]
Team Fed is truly out in force today. In addition to Elizabeth Duke’s warning to TARP banks, and Fed Vice Chairman Donald Kohn’s caution on reduced Fed independence, Minneapolis Fed president Gary Stern gave the least ambiguous message that the White House is on the wrong path as he addressed the administration’s plans to handle the too-big-to-fail issue.
“While regulatory reform is appropriate at this juncture, the Treasury proposal fails to come to grips with” the danger posed by the failure of a large firm, Stern, 64, said today in the text of what may be his final speech as a policy maker. The plan “will leave the financial system susceptible to future bouts of resource misallocation and serious instability,”
To eliminate any confusion arising from what he meant by Treasury’s proposal failing, Stern added
“There is little reason to think that these steps will, individually or collectively, succeed in reining in” the too- big-to-fail problem,
One can only hope that this is the beginning of the ‘Save the Beard’ campaign from Team Fed as they ratchet up their efforts to keep the White House’s chief narcoleptic right where he is.
Stern Says Financial Plan Opens Way for ‘Instability’ [Bloomberg]
Since Jim Cramer won’t defend (and take the blame for) Lenny Dykstra’s run of bad luck, Nails will just have to do it himself. He did so this afternoon. One thing you can be sure of: LD is not alone. Tons of awesome dudes have gone bankrupt and then pulled themselves out it to do great things. Unfortunately, slavery has already been abolished, so we’re going to have to come up with something even better for our main man.
Although I am saddened and a bit embarrassed that I had no choice but to resort to this action, at least I am in good company. . . .
Two of our greatest presidents, Thomas Jefferson (filed several times) and Abraham Lincoln, were able to restructure their lives through bankruptcy and went on to do great things such as helping to establish the University of Virginia and abolishing slavery.
Ulysses S. Grant went bankrupt after leaving office when a partner in an investment-banking venture swindled him. (I can certainly identify with this one.)
William McKinley filed for protection while serving as Ohio’s governor in 1893. He was in debt to the tune of $130,000 (an insurmountable sum in those days!) before some friends eventually helped to bail him out. Three years later, he occupied a desk in the Oval Office.
Other prominent men who made the list and later went on to huge successes:
- Mark Twain
- Donald Trump (2 timer)
- Henry Ford
- William Crapo Durant (founder of GM)
- Walt Disney (up to bat several times)
- Burt Reynolds
- H.J. Heinz
- Milton Hershey
- P.T. Barnum
- Lenny K. Dykstra (coming soon!)
In Maxine Waters’ most recent step towards her Holy Grail of legislating Goldman out of existence, everyone’s favorite Representative from the IOU state wants CDS banned for good. Drawing on her many years of experience as a derivatives guru, Mad Max now thinks that financial stability can only be achieved by putting the kibosh on credit default swaps.
