Typically Mad Max’s response to any question starting with,”who is responsible for trying to defeat this piece of legislation which will save our country” includes some variation on ‘current Goldman employee’, ‘ex-Goldman employee’, or ‘friend of a current or ex-Goldman employee’. But not this time. Maxie was after Rahm-bo this morning for recruiting a few too may right leaning Democrats when he was in the Congressional leadership and now the Blue Dogs are to blame for holding up health care reform. After unloading on the Dogs, Maxine did find the time to neatly summarize how to solve the housing crisis by focusing on abrogating contracts and the need for negative interest rates.
Archive for July 2009
Eliot Spitzer says no, and reiterates that the entire operation in a Ponzi scheme. While we’re on the subject, know who else can’t be trusted? You think you’re paying top dollar for them to keep quiet and then they run their mouth to anyone who’ll listen. You can bet I’ve learned my lesson. Port Authority, no names, only way to do it.
A “new” article-by-numbers is out today discussing the fact that the recession is affecting people’s love lives. Naturally, John Carney would like to know if that translates to less on the job fucking. Carney’s conducting an actual survey, not just fact-finding for his personal amusement, so let’s do him a solid with some hard data. If the matter of getting things going isn’t an issue, are you more likely to err on the side of caution these days, out of fear that security tapes of you fornicating on the desk might put your job security at risk? Or are you more likely to say, fuck it, let’s do this? The dearly departed Keith Hahn loves to regale me with tales of a former colleague of his who “used to take down people in the JPM trading floor bathroom like nobody’s business.” But that was circa 2005 when you could do practically anything. For the Dimonettes in the group is that venue still fair game? Is there less on-site banging but more one-man QT in the handicapped stall, especially around bonus time? Are our favorite southern CT shemales f-blasting each other on big money days? Are there any firms where this sort of behavior is a-okay, as long as no one’s getting hurt (possibly one of the more outside the box thinking hedge funds)? In these difficult times, are some employers going to so far as to facilitate interoffice action, with mood lighting and aphrodisiacs? Or is it pretty much explicitly frowned upon? Let’s get into this.
At some point over the weekend, Trader: The Documentary made its way on to YouTube, after it went out of circulation in the 90s and Paul Tudor Jones bought up all remaining copies. Those of you who listen to every damn word we have to say watched it yesterday, and probably got a kick out of PTJ’s vintage shades and pet turkey who Jones thought of as a dog. But it wasn’t just entertaining– it was educational. For the more observant ones in the bunch who were paying close attention, the flick was filled with tips on how to get a competitive edge that, when put to use, could make you a mult-billionaire one day, too. For example, start every trading session with a couple Buds. And also, prominently display pics of scantily clad/nude ladies in your domain. Whoever tickles your fancy should do just fine, though if you want to do it “just like PTJ,” someone please identify the lady above at this time. She looks familiar, but we’re having difficulty putting our finger on it, and Jones has yet to return calls for comment.
To the dismay of several hedge funds and many private investors, the value of at least one failed institution is still zero. SRM Global and RAB Capital Plc, which own 11.5% and 8.2% of the outstanding shares of the charter member of the UK’s nationalized portfolio, Northern Rock, lost an appeal today to get a valuation that looks like something other than a bagel for their collective 82 million shares. The same savvy investors that refused to sell their shares as N-Rock’s stock plunged during the second half of 2007 now contend that, according to their valuation models, they deserve more than £4/share for the government funded rescue. RBS shareholders finally have a group of people that can make them feel good about themselves.
Are you among the happy 46 percent? What will you be doing to celebrate? Not as lucky? Feeling like you just threw away the last four to six months of your life? Want to get angry? Want to make someone pay? Let it out, here.
Earlier: Let’s Get Together And Have A Good Cry, Courtesy Of The CFA Institute
Every so often we like to check in and see how the victims of the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time are coping in the aftermath. Bernie’s doing great, making friends and earning the respect of his fellow criminals on the cell block. Ruth is house hunting. Mark is being a dick on Nantucket. Kevin Bacon is hurting, but will likely dance again one day soon. And how ’bout those Noels? Walter, Monica and the five girls, all of whom were pretty negatively affected by the scam, owing to the fact that 4/5 of their husbands went to work for daddy, so when the bitch went down it went down hard. Are they hiding out in some undisclosed southern Connecticut bunker? Are they sitting around a 1-bedroom apartment over a pizza place they all moved into cursing the day Bernie Madoff came into their lives? Are they filling out applications at Beamers? No! They’re partaying on a yacht. Vicky Ward reports that Andrés Piedrahita, husband of Corina, and the FFG exec responsible for bringing in all that sweet Colombian cash recently bought himself a boat and has never been better.
Look no further than the website of luxury yacht sellers Camper and Nicholsons to see pictures of “Oxygen” the new €22,000,000.00 custom-made boat that Piedrahita, took possession of in June. He is now cruising the Adriatic with wife Corina Noel and their children. I am told he has plans to cruise around the Dalmatian coast and Corfu.
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