Former oilman and current amateur wind farmer T. Boone Pickens has graduated from losing investor money legally to flat out theft. In his younger years, and sensing his own greatness, TBP liked to do things like signing his name in wet concrete on his grandmother’s driveway. Now, like most sane 81-year olds, TBP is going from driveway to driveway reclaiming his early artistic works in concrete for nostalgia’s sake.
It turns out several weeks ago three little gnomes showed up at grandma Pickens’ place armed with cement saws and pry bars and removed the 3×5 section of the driveway with the signature. With the stolen driveway firmly in hand, a TBP spokesman calmly explained why the billionaire has turned into the repo man in his old hood.
“He carved his name in that cement 70 years ago, in his grandmother’s driveway,” the statement said. “It means a lot to him, and is now with his childhood home which has been carefully restored and relocated to his ranch in the Texas Panhandle to help commemorate his Oklahoma roots.”
Now when he breaks his gaze from the colony of windmills that will define his current legacy and looks down to the ground, he’ll be reminded of exactly who to blame.
Homeowner wants oilman Pickens charged with theft [Washington Post]
What the fuck is this drivel? Please for the love of everything holy, just stop.
suck it boone
it has a picture, i’ll give you that
@1 clearly this it not that bad of a post. Relax.
@4 Agreed.
Gregums,
Mommy is a little sore from last night. Would you be a dear and bring me home one of those doughnut cushions for me to sit on and maybe a bag of ice. Another box of magnums would be great too, sweety!
Love and kisses,
Mom
Does this mean I can go steal the bathroom stall wall I carved my initials on at the old Enron building on Smith Street in Houston? It meant a lot to me plus all the graffitti about Fastow, Skilling and Lay were hilarious.
~Superb Oil Trader Whom You All Admire
I think Greg’s article clearly shows there is a market for reclaimed cured cement.
- Columbus, Ohio entreprenuer
@1 It’s a Greg post. What do you expect? Always a high drivel content.
I shot a pearl necklace onto Greg’s mom. I’d like to keep that if I could.
i wrote my name on your wife, I’ll come pick her up later tonight.
You know, CNBC turned into a hard core porn channel so gradually I didn’t even notice
-Marge Simpson
RoseBud…………Ugh…….
Greg – I think you missed the story that Boone is abandoning the wind farm project and is back to pushing natural gas.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Business/story?id=8030740&page=1
Boomer Sooner Motel
12314 N. Hinckley
Holdenville, OK 74848
Guest: Pickens, T.B.
Room#: 5 – (Hot Water)
Payment: MasterCard ending in “8181″
Rate: $39.95/day
Taxes: 4.00/day
Room Service Charges
Chik-o-Quik Bucket Chicken………….$ 12.00
JackHammer Rental………………………. 45.00
Black Ski Mask…………………………….. 8.00
Rosetta Stone Software (Spanish)……. 1,440.00
Movie: “Hellfighters”………………………. 8.00
Damage: Ripped Out OU Section Phonebook. 10.00
Wind Energy Logo-ed Pinwheels (25)…… 15.00
1 Pr. Leather Work Gloves…………………………. 8.00
Movie: “Swift Boat Bravery”……………………….. 8.00
1 ctn Aluminum Foil for “Hat”……………………. 4.95
Movie” Oklahoma!”………………………………….. 8.00
Lyrics to Beatles “Come and Get It”……………… 4.50
Damage: Gideon’s -8th Comdmt underlined…. 10.00
Damage: Graffitti “MesaMesaMesa”…………….. 50.00
Special “Tumbleweed” Room Adornment……. 15.00
Rental: Portable Air Compressor…………………. 35.00
Rental: Small generator…………………………….. 25.00
Meat Ball Sandwich………………………………….. 6.50
Audio: Talking Book………………………………… 15.00
Movie: “Deputy Dawg”…………………………….. 8.00
Rental: “Holdenville Driveway Inspector’ Unifm.. 15.00
Long Distance: 1-212-902-1000………………. 10.00
Wake Up Call: 3:00 AM…………………………….. N/C
@15 do it for every post today, please!!!
@15 I gather you appreciate a good Meat Ball Sandwich.
When I am a $24 quadrillionaire, I will transplant the decaying disgusting tree that I climbed as a child in Hawaii onto my skyscraper’s roof in Manhattan.
It is the tree that the neighborhood bully threw my bike into when I was 8 years old.
It is the byzantine tree I hid up inside within its gnarled swampy towering shoots as I was pelted by water-gun and slingshot fire provided by the neighborhood kids.
It bears scratches and broken nodules testament to my nostalgic past – I feel warm and fuzzy inside already, dreaming of my life goal of tree transplantation. It will be like that tree on the castle in Lord of The Rings: Return of the King.
@15 -
I salute you; not just for this post, but for the creation of an entirely new genre. Rest assured that I and countless “guests” will slavishly imitate this form ad infinitum.
jdeU2J A round of applause for your article post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.
sD26hB Major thankies for the post.Really thank you! Keep writing.