Or elicit a “no fucking shit,” I can’t decide which. This morning there are two of them, both about Dennis Kneale:
1) Apparently Kneale’s on-air “meltdown” and rant against “digital dickweeds,” who suggested DK’s bold claim that the recession was over was dead wrong (and whose commenters* later noted that DK should be put in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds, that he was functionally retarded, and that he bears a resemblance to Beaker) was manufactured. Specifically by his producer, former Fox guy Jerry Burke (the one who told DK the outburst was poetry, and the best thing he’d ever done on the show). But…but I thought…but didn’t Dennis say…didn’t he tell a reporter this wasn’t “about standing out”? And now you’re telling us the truth is that the whole thing was a stunt “to draw attention and drum up buzz“? So it was all a sham? I mean, it makes sense, given that Dennis had been in the slot for 14 weeks and no one was really paying attention, and if you consider that CNBC talent is contractually obligated to not let 15 seconds go by without starting a fight over something, anything, with fellow colleagues or guest, lest they receive an electric shock to the nipple but….but this means we were lied to? And…used? And might never be able to trust anything that comes out of Dennis’s mouth again?
2) DK (allegedly) gets drunk and gropes the wives of underlings.
*Some people–Dennis– have trouble differentiating, and you guys should be getting credit for your contributions.
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On 1), I’m in the “nfs” camp.
On 2), also not terribly surprising. Start with collies and work your way up.
3) dennis kneale gets drunk and gropes collies
Gaspo: How long it takes to find a bra? What’s going on in there? You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I’m back in two seconds…
you know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups.
Dennis Kneale: I-I know about the cups.
Gaspo: You got the A, B, C the D. That’s the biggest.
DK: I know the D is the biggest. I’ve based my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest.
@3 very good
4) dennis kneale gets drunk and molests collies
Dennis Kneale, for a guy whos apparently been around “Wall Street” for at least a decade, knows surprisingly little about any aspect of it. Hell, there’s journalists like 2 years outa school that put his knowledge to absolute and utter shame. Seriously, this guy makes Cody Willard look like Jeremy Seigel
i definitely buy the wife groping thing. gross.
If Milton Waddams and Beaker hooked up for a night of mad passionate sex – the resulting bastard love-child would be Dennis Kneale.
in all seriousness, dk is an asshole and an embarrassment to CNBC, which, given that they employ chaz, is saying something.
was the tits-cabrera, erin burnett, maria bartiromo jello-wrestling thing a stunt too?? say it ain’t so!
I am confused. Isn’t DK a clothing/accessories brand?
I’d like to see Charlie the G smack this wimp around on air.
Pfluger
Dennis Kneale meep meep meep inapropriate collie touching meep meep meep I’m an idiot meep meep meep
Dennis Kneale only blows one thing and it aint minds.
DyL RaT
Manusnackture fights with CNBC.
-Snickers Add Manager
Jeff Immelt: It’s come to my attention that you’ve been getting hammered and grabbing the tits of other men’s wives. Is that correct?
Dennis Kneale: Who said that?
Jeff Immelt: The tits did.
Dennis Kneale: [pause] Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
Jeff Immelt: You’re fired!
Dennis Kneale: Well, you didn’t have to say it like that.
@14 good
@15 also good
@16 great
Forehead the size of a drive-in movie theatre, but he’s a good shit so we don’t bust his chops too much.
Picture:word association.
Dennis Kneale : Queef
I am Dennis Kneale?
Roginsky, you painted clown, seriously? If this keeps up she is going to go on air with teased hair and an 80′s prom dress by next week.
You know what I think is really classy? Brass collar stays. I switched to those about a year ago and theyre boss.
@ 19 FTW, for bringing back one of the best words every invented.
@ 19, I queefe in your general direction. _meredith Whitney
Dennis Kneale gets collies drunk and encourages them to molest him
Dennis Kneale was at a Furry convention in Pittsburgh last week and molested everything.
You people do see where this is going right? Another DK show about how the blogs are manufacturing lies about the “alleged” lies…recycled journalism kinda like Gregs stuff.
Dennis Kneale is molesting me right now, anything you want me to say to him?
Perez Hilton
Employee’s Husband: Because I’m looking for him. That’s why. He stopped short.
Gaspo: What do you mean?
Employee’s Husband: In a car, with my wife. He stopped short. You think I don’t know what that’s about? That’s my old move! I used it on Maria forty years
ago! I told everybody about it! Everybody knows! [Demonstrates] Hmmph! I
stopped short.
Gaspo: Really, stopping short. That’s a good move.
E’s H: You’re not kidding it’s a good move!
You guys are all fools playing into CNBC’s hand, drumming up buzz. DK’s calm and nihilistic chuckles are emanating from his lair at this moment he’s quite amused at how he riled you all up so.
DK = Troll, DB = Troll feeder.
Also, Bess is on CNBC payroll, only a matter of time until she dumps DB and gets a spot on CNBC throwing witty comments at Santelli, Cramer, and Gasparino.
@NakedShort
Agreed, beats the hell outa any plastic
SEND HIM BACK TO POWER LUNCH OR SEND HIM POWER PACKING!!!
Senior Staff Meeting at Forbes HQ, morning after alleged incident.
Jeff Immelt: Dennis, on behalf of everyone present, I must say that I’m sure you’re aware of the allegations against you are very serious. You do realize you could go to jail for this, it’s indecent assault.
Dennis Kneale [pounding his chest]: Take me to jail. TAKE ME TO JAIL. Lock me up. LOCK ME UP. Throw away the key. THROW AWAY THE KEY. I don’t care if i have to fuck someone else in his ass. You never been in the shower with another man and you see the suds runnin’ down the crack of…oh wait … [starts forced laughter] ha ha ha i was foolin’ y’all … those were jokes … [continues forced laughter] heh heh whoa whoa…
I knew that shit was a fraud. Either that or he chose two of the least funny comments to highlight (patting myself on the back as I was the one who called this yesterday).
Beaker is like Krudlow’s minnie-me. Belching supply side lunacy at every opportunity.
Beaker is truly an example of the “shit floats to the top” theory. How does a guy with a face for radio and the mind of a retail stock jock get hours of air time when we could be starring at those enormous tits all DAY!!!!!!!!!
the face say muppets christmas, but the neck screams of our favorite ex-prez of hahvahd.
I was the alien with the high forehead in the second series of Star Trek.
DK
I am resisting my urge to perform amateur surgery on his chin.
@38 which is more offensive, the chin or the forehead?
If Bess goes to CNBC I’ll be hurt, but I’ll understand. I just pray that Cramer doesn’t welcome her by saying “Bess Levin is one of the greats in this business.”
It’s like watching Streetsigns.When Jim “Busted by John Stewart” Cramer’s segment comes on, I happily change channel.So, why would I watch DK when there’s CNBC Asia with it’s intelligent and hot on-air female talents?
Cramer’s and DK’s shows are useless.Fox and Bloomberg have better shows than those by 2 dickheads