• 23 Jul 2009 at 11:03 AM

The Hits Just Keep On Coming For Stephen Baldwin

By

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On Tuesday, the awful news came out that Stephen Baldwin joined Lenny Dykstra on Team Bankruptcy. Alec and Billy seem to not give a rat’s ass about their brother’s financial situation, offering nothing in the way of a bailout. Stephen’s good friend and tenant, a heroin dealer, was recently arrested and will not be able to lend Baldy any proceeds from his crack slinging business. And now, we’ve learned that Stephen was forced to give up his spot on the reality TV show, “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” after being attacked by wild animals. That’s right, people– Baldwin says he exited the show after receiving more than 125 insect bites in eight days.
According to Baldy, the bites were so bad that he had “an extreme allergic reaction that caused him to lose sleep and 22 pounds.” What we’re getting at here, is that Baldwin is really in a bad spot. He’s clearly in no position to work, at time when he could really use the money. It’s time to get charitable. It doesn’t have to come from your checkbook, though that would obviously help. Something as small but meaningful as rubbing on some Calamine lotion to reduce the swelling would mean a lot. He’d do the same for you.
*Which sounds really bad if you’re a celeb or pussy but at some the more hard-core hedge fund in the bunch is merely a standard exercise for non-performing PMs or when the big guy just wants to have some fun.

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    Comments (29)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:08 AM

      Dennis Kneale does molestation:
      http://gawker.com/5320682/how-cnbc-dennis-kneale-begged-for-blogger-bile

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:10 AM

      Baldy is Exhibit A on why we need a nationalized mental health insurance plan.

    3. 3
      Posted by Becky Boot Fan | July 23, 2009 at 11:10 AM

      Maybe Alec would lend him the money, if he could put up with 100days of hazing and lose another 20lbs, ala Ari/Lloyd.

    4. 4
      Posted by Anal_yst | July 23, 2009 at 11:10 AM

      Sounds like Spidy’s excuse to get off that show aka a complete load of horsesh*t

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM

      Maybe if he started selling coke to Charlie Gaspo he could be back in black.

    6. 6
      Posted by AndrewInGreenwich | July 23, 2009 at 11:12 AM

      Melessa Francis is showing some of those 34C sweater puppets today….

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:13 AM

      @anal_yst shut the fuck up dick, you ever been eaten alive by bugs?
      -SB

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:14 AM

      Why no mention of Daniel Baldwin helping out? his career is strong to quite strong at the moment, no?

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:19 AM

      @6 She wishes those were C’s. B’s tops! We need a seperate story on this. Bess, hooker it up.

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:19 AM

      Floyd Stankfein will hire him as his personal monkey butler for a tidy sum.

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:20 AM

      @10 this is true.
      -LB

    12. 12
      Posted by highlyconfident | July 23, 2009 at 11:21 AM

      Now that he’s shed that weight he should be good to go for more box office smashes like
      The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:21 AM

      @9 there already was a story on MF’s bra, the other day. try and keep up.

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:22 AM

      fattie needed to lose 20 lbs. he should be thanking those bugs.

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:24 AM

      Funny he never mentioned this “extreme allergic reaction” on the show. Sounds like a little revisionist history. That’s right. I watched it. You got a problem with that?

    16. 16
      Posted by Bess Levin | July 23, 2009 at 11:25 AM

      @8 because I forgot there was another one.

    17. 17
      Posted by Becky Boot Fan | July 23, 2009 at 11:28 AM

      McManus:”Gimme the fuckin keys, you fucking cocksucker mother fucker…blaaaaaaaaah!”
      Cop:”Knock it off, get back!”

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:30 AM

      @13 Some of us enjoy a good boobie story more than once a week…why don’t you and the rest of the rope smokers stick to yahoo finance.

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:33 AM

      Despite his incredible fuckedupness and ongoing personal trainwreck, SB gets “Hollywood-type pussy” and as successful as all DBers are, we don’t.

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:41 AM

      Could he do a worse job than Greg? Let’s give the poor guy a shot

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:46 AM

      Thx 18.. 13 GFY.

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:46 AM

      “Where’s your messiah now?”

    23. 23
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:49 AM

      @16 just kidding, that one is a train wreck compared to Stephen…and was probably the live-in dealer’s best customer

    24. 24
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:50 AM

      “Despite his incredible fuckedupness and ongoing personal trainwreck, SB gets “Hollywood-type pussy” ”
      are you a fucking idiot? the washed up bloated “actor” pulls no such thing.

    25. 25
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 11:51 AM

      Mark Haines: How long it takes to find a bra? What’s going on in there? You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I’m back in two seconds…
      you know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups.
      Gaspo: I-I know about the cups.
      MH: You got the A, B, C the D. That’s the biggest.
      Gaspo: I know the D is the biggest. I’ve based my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest.

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 12:02 PM

      This guy looks like he has one too many chromosomes.

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 12:34 PM

      So I can get paid to receive a few bug bites AND lose 20 pounds? Sign me up!
      -9.6% of Americans

    28. 28
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 12:41 PM

      @19 Would you fuck him? Because that’s the Hollywood-type of poon he’s getting, if any.

    29. 29
      Posted by guest | July 23, 2009 at 1:45 PM

      thats weird I always thought he was an MD at Citi…

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