First we get word that Ponzi-Boy, besides being in desperate need of a haircut and some manscaping, is having a pretty okay time in prison. He’s got a job (engraving desk and door nameplates– maybe he’ll do yours!), he’s working out, and most importantly, he’s making friends and earning respect. And now, there’s a possibility Berns will have a bill named after him. Could you ask for more? It was introduced by Republican Assemblyman Jim Tedisco last night and would force “wealthy” inmates (Tedisco wants this to include those who are worth $200,000 or more) to foot the bill for their time behind bars, instead of putting it on the taxpayer. It’s not necessarily something you’d die to have your name tacked on to but it’s a start and from here branding opportunities are really limitless (Jimmy Cayne is apparently working on a strain of weed named for the Big Guy), with the Ponz-Master, of course, taking a cut. Action figures, cologne, a line a meat sauces if you want to think inside the box, but obviously we don’t, so dream big.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
no, thank YOU bernie!
-paine w
What does SPODE mean?
meat sauce is right…
he looks so damn hot in that pic it almost makes me forget he ruined my life. ALMOST.
-ruthie
he actually looks really tan and fit there.
-h’mo banker
break me off a piece of that.
-jimmy ‘no homo’ cayne
Considering it costs (depending what prison, what program, and whom you ask) what, $20-$30m/year? So yea, that makes sense, maybe if you’re in for a year or two, but they better bump up that threshold by an order of magnitude for longer sentences.
Just waiting for the “invoice guy” to post up a bill
@analyst- don’t avoid the question. would you buy a bottle of bernie m’s musk?
8 = the invoice guy
Isnt Bernie now worth
@naked- uh, because he’s a sociopath, hello?
Yet another moronic proposal by a socialist politician. Let ALL criminals pay for their stays, not just the ones with loot.
Wouldn’t that just lead to shorter prison sentences for the wealthy. Presumably judges would have to factor in footing the bill for their stay as part of the punishment.
Thank YOU, Kidder Peadbody!
Mr. Leeson
I dont understand the system.
When ones rich…doesnt it mean he has no business sitting behing the bars.
What kinda country have we become ? putting rich people in gaols ?
@naked
I’d also pondered the same, but @12 hits it on the head. This guy (and likely the Noels and the other schmucks involved) might not be capable of feeling anxiety (guilt, etc), but who knows.
Perhaps he could package some Rugelach-flavored (raspberry, chocolate, raisin…maybe even a sampler) astroglide with a DIY anal suture kit and market it as “Bernie’s A2M Prison Friendship Kit”
Worth 200k? Mexican strawberry pickers in tract homes are worth 200k.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF PRISONS
BUTNER CORRECTIONAL CAMP
Statement of Charges per Publ. Law 112-02999 (“Wealthy Inmate Assessment Act of 2009)
Prisoner: Madoff, Bernard
Cell # : A-265
Basic Charges: July 2009
Cell rent………… $150.00
Linens ………………8.00
Meal plan (kosher)…..225.00
Commissary items:
Soap on a Rope……………$5.50
Rita Hayworth Poster……….9.99
Sword Swallowing for Dummies..8.00
Meat Ball Sandwich…………3.25
Fines (Disciplinary Infractions)
Unauthorized Use of Engraving Equip
(Plexiglas etching entitled
“Ruthies’ Muff”)………..$50.00
(plus materials)
I wonder how long its going to take before Bernie gets some prison ink and makes his first shank.
@ FTW! “soap on a rope” haha.
Dennis Kneale Collie Molestation Act of 2009
In the works bitches!
-Nominate me
@20 Thanks! Always entertaining!!
–@8
20 wins.
19 is truth.
@20 – it should be
Rope, Soap on a…… $5.50
Anyone else reminded of Brazil?
Unconstitutional to say the least? Isn’t this why we have sentencing guidelines? How about if you pay a little extra and that reduces your sentence? I guess that the Republicans know how to conduct class warfare too!!