• 22 Jul 2009 at 12:10 PM

Things Looking Both Up And Down For A Freed Jeffrey Epstein

By Bess Levin

Picture 1784.pngOn the one hand, the massage enthusiast has officially been let out of prison today, after spending the last year of his life locked up for soliciting minors to stand awkwardly next to him while he jerked off into a towel (it was actually his assistant/social director who lined up the girls but details). So that’s got to feel pretty good. On the other, he’s got a bunch of lbs to lose (Bubba told him he’d regret the Hersey Bars, Peanut Butter Squeezer, and Li’l Chub Sausage) in order to get back to his fighting/tail chasing weight, some legal battles to deal with, including a recent suit that he made a “sex slave” out of a 15 year old, and an allegation by John Carney that Epstein is running a Ponzi scheme.
Earlier: Jeffrey Epstein, Comin’ At Ya

Comments (11)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    I think Carney meant a scheme about something else and spelled it incorrectly as “Ponzi”.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    Isn’t the whole jerking off into a towel thing pretty much status quo for the Equinox steam room?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:16 PM

    @1 I wouldn’t have blown something like that up.
    -jc

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    What’s a Hersey Bar?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:18 PM

    bess, he didn’t eat the pb squeezer, just spread it on his nuts a little bit.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    All this talk of nuts and pb is making me tungry.
    Bawney Fwank

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    http://i44.tinypic.com/11kfp1f.jpg

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    @2
    Yes it is.
    -CG

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    welcome home Jeffrey

  10. 10
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    This guy is my hero

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2009 at 9:40 PM

    Keep your under 18 y/o nieces and sisters
    away from Jeff

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