Understanding Cliff Asness: “I was a lonely Ph.D student in a cold-water flat on the South Side Of Chicago”
By Bess LevinComments (61)
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
he is such a tortured soul!
Dealbreaker, this is Cliff Asness. You scumsucking, motherfucking assholes! Just who the fuck do you think you are, you cunt bag sons of bitches?
“I was a lonely Ph.D student in a cold-water flat on the South Side Of Chicago. I was studying at the library one night, when a shadowy figure approached me. A black man. A beatnik. He made my promises. He seduced me. We shared beautiful moments together and, yes, we fucked. And then he left me, cold, in the dead of night. If that was TMI, I’m sorry, but maybe now you’ll understand what it means to be CA.”
@2 I know you’re not Cliff but that’s a good, but slightly degraded, approximation. Bravo!
I love you Becky Quick. I know your lazy brown eye winks only at me.
Cliffy should STFU and tend to his present, tortured, a$$ bleeding.
Just Sayin’
cliff asness@3 is that why you wrote your letter? Unafraid in Greenwich? was that a desperate attempt to show the man who broke your heart he can’t hurt you anymore?
oh god, since it’s Friday, let’s bring it back:
Posted by guest, Dec 04, 2008 4:37PM
This is Cliff Asness (for real, if you’ve read anything by me you can probably tell from the below):
All these inside references, yet so much ignorance and/or lies. Obviously some of these posts are bitter rants by people not here anymore, and obviously some are just ignorance and cruelty. Either way they are still lies.
Forget me, you are collectively maligning a lot of very good, very nice people you either don’t know, or worked with and now enjoy lying about anonymously. Andrea F, Michael K, David K, Ronen I, John L, Jacques F, etc. All nice/productive people you have no right to lie about. Yet who cares about right and wrong when there are anonymous cowardly posts to be made!
Well, I don’t coddle or fear little men like you (or vicious animal liars like this Beth Levin creature – Beth, was “lair” a nice fair journalistic integrity neutral word?).
For good people we had to let go I feel very bad. For investors who are in our products that are having a tough time I feel very bad and intend to fix it. Frankly, for anyone who is in a tough spot I feel bad.
But for liars, and bitter former employees who were let go because we decided we needed you less than the people you now lie about (I’m not yelling at everyone who is not here anymore, just the cowards posting), and little men who get off on anonymous mendacity on the internet, —- YOU and the keyboard you wrote in on. Sorry I can’t be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post.
I’m Cliff Asness and I approved this message. Who are you anonymous little liars? Why don’t you come see me some time? Sign your name liars, I dare you. Then let’s chat.
Nah, internet’s a great place for anonymous ignorant fools who feel like tough guys in the know when they post their verbal vomit. Enjoy your fun while it lasts. When we go back to doing great for clients what are you going to do for fun? Well, whatever, I’m sure it will be dishonorable and cowardly.
- Cliff
p.s. Beth Levin, regarding your old post, one doesn’t fire their secretary because they know terrible secrets. That’s why one would keep their secretary. Neither reason applies here. I have no terrible secrets, sadly I’m that boring. You make up lies, and you can’t even think straight enough to make your lies make sense. And, btw, you claim we’re going under because of this “sign” (letting my secretary go). Well, we’re not, not close. But, in that same article I believe you said we’re “bleeding out the ass”. Frankly, when a “lady” of the 4th estate writes that, you can bet it is a sign her pathetic website is not long for this earth.
Does Cliff like to swear?
What the fuck is wrong with BQ’s left eye?
@9 you shut your fucking mouth when I’m talking to you!
-C
His head is shaped like a radish which is an early indicator of chronic anal bleeding syndrome.
Free for all Fridays! Fuckin’ a
I can’t stop wondering if BQ has a Brazilian…
Beth Levin you vicious animal I’m going to rip you a new asshole!
-cliff
Well I’ll be mother fuckered. I went to UGay too and I was doing some momentum earlier this morning. Now I am home in my underpants.
Hooo-ray!
PS: UBS can suck it and no I cannot perform fellatio on myself
do you think cliff beats off to nazi prison porn?
Becky Quick – bleached her anus in preparation for the Assnes interview.
fuck your mother, @4, it was me.
-cliff/2
I cant believe he is actually trying to go retail with his line of mutual funds. I guess you get desparate when CalPers pulls their assets.
Wow, reading that I can understand why Beth changed her name. Close up shop, start all over, start fresh, with a new name. Just like a failed hedge fund.
@22 her name was and always has been “bess.” the rabid, probably rabies-infected, hedge fund manager that is cliff asness got it wrong.
Maxine at it again!
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aKm1E6vW7Brc
Cliff, I’ll suck your cock for $10. Actually $5. No, $10.
-Lenny Dykstra
LD here again: $5. Final offer
-nails/25
I was this dude’s freaking room mate! We looked at 16-year old Brazilian chicks all day!
-BHO
Becky Quick: drunk
Me:loaded up on coke and viagra
Cliff:Who cares?
I’m so 2004
I did it all for the nookie
Come on
The nookie
Come on
So you can stick it in your
yeah
Stick it in your
yeah
So Bess didn’t change her name? Wow, now that was clever.
@8: ahhh, it never gets old. Never.
What a come-down – to go from institutional glad-handing for your $100 mil to pounding the pavement with your hand out, ready to bend over for $10K. Enjoy it, Cliff – hope you can finally get to build that Conyers Farm house you were planning.
Graham and Dodd were academics. Dumbass.
“I was a lonely Ph.D student in a cold-water flat on the South Side Of Chicago when my girlfriend Pat told me she was pregnant. I was dumbstruck, ‘How could this happen to me? This doesn’t make any sense’ I thought. I was so young, so full of prospect. Looking back I was so upset with myself for making what seemed like life altering mistake, when in the end everything turned out just fine… on a completely unrelated note, that was the first time I was arrested for having a dead tranny in my trunk.”
-the Cliffer
@5: the foxy Quick’s lazy brown eye jumps over you, dog
@3
You promised you’d never tell anyone! I own your ass now, just like I did then. Goodbye carried interest exemption.
-Barry
Schadenfreude (pronounced /ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/, German pronunciation: [ˈʃaːdənˌfʁɔʏ̯də])
actually cliff, I think “lair” was more than fair.
-beth
cliff@4 but not the last, right?
my favorite line: “Sorry I can’t be more eloquent, you deserve no more and will hear no more from me after this post.”
I was a lonely Ph.D student
in a cold water flat where
my Daddy was a cop
on the South Side of Chicago
Back in the USA
Back in the bad old days
In the heat of a summer night
In the land of the dollar bill
When the town of Chicago died
And they talk about it still
Then I heard Nails cry…
Come over here Becky, I’ll show you some momentum….quickly, back and forth, up and down, stronger longer….G8- I8
-Cliff
@41 i just laughed for a minute. thanks.
Im gettin jacked, Im breakin myself
I cant believe they taking cliffy’s wealth
They took my rings, they took my rolex
I looked at the brotha said damn, whats next?
Becky needs her teeth fixed up before she gets the left eye realigned.
…a regular Beck&Decker Pecker Wrecker she is.
Im tweaking
Into a whole new era
C-funk
Step to this
I dare ya
Funk
On a whole new level
The rhythm is the base
And the base is the treble
enough with the idiot lyrics. You must be unemployed you stupid fucking turd.
- cliff
@47 nice
I tried watching that clip but all I heard was “Who are you anonymous little liars? Why don’t you come see me some time? Sign your name liars, I dare you. Then let’s chat.”
Is he also short?
Those AQR guys always bitching they have some much to overcome…sometimes a lonely cold water south side Chi-town apartment. Other times they bitch about a bad umpire in a softball game….
I was a lonely PhD student in a coldwater flat on the south side of Chicago. Fortunately, I spent 18 hours a day in under the torturously antiseptic lights of the A-Level, desperately scratching away at problem sets while trying not to look out of the corner of my eye at the Morlocks flitting between the movable stacks. Once a day I rose to spongebathe in one of the spacious A-Level stalls. Then I’d take the stacks elevator (express, baby!) up to the 2nd floor to use the glory hole in the men’s restroom there. That’s where all the undergrads study.
@52 sounds like we got a booth grad in the house!
@23 kill yourself
@Bonds (35)
F.T.W.
Had to throw out my underwear after that one. Worth it.
Lenny
Call me please
Tiger
http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/intel/07/12/21_stripes_lgl.jpg
everyone hates Cliff ….
FUCK CLIFF ASNESS and his cronies
these guys no less about markets than a freshman intern at your local schwab branch
Is there any momentum left once you enter the Assness?
I’m totally not surprised that he was and still is lonely. His personal characteristics guarantee that. His wife must have a fabulous pre-nup to put up with him.
Aqr up huge this year and laughing at you gross jealous hatred. Hahahahaha.
61 = biff