Ever watch CNBC, previously around around lunch (before he was put on what appears to be a permanent time-out) or, for reasons you cannot explain, past 8PM and wonder what happened to this bespectacled fellow, screeching about the recession being over and “digital dickweeds” and god knows what else and thought, what happened to this guy in childhood, or adolescence, or a previous life that made him the way he is today? It has to have been something horrific, right? You can’t just be born like this, can you? It turns out the answers are yes and yes.
In a NYO profile of Kneale, we find out a whole bunch of stuff about DK, including the fact that his father that his father was hit by a car and killed, when Dennis was 14 years-old. The tragedy changed a young Kneale, who became “more outgoing and pugnacious.” A bully, basically. A nerdy, nerdy bully. “When [a sudden death] happens, you’re like, well, fuck,” Kneale says. “There’s nothing you can do anymore that’s going to even come close to that. It’s like, ‘Bring it on. What have you got?’” Other things we’ve learned about DK today:
* His mother always told him, “Don’t say something if you can’t say it to somebody’s face.” She probably meant something more along the lines of what most mothers tell their children, i.e. if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all, but Dennis interpreted Mother Kneale’s words to mean if you’re in front of them, or they can see your lips moving through the tube, fire away.
* DK very much took this bit of wisdom to heart, which I guess would explain the rationale of being proud, decades later, of the fact that he wrote a scathing take-down of his high school’s chorus concert with his own by-line. “I wrote the mean review on the record,” said Kneale. “Not anonymously.”
* He really, really hates people who write anonymously online, because it often creates victims of vicious, masked attacks. Like this girl, who truly was made a victim, and like Dennis Kneale, who is not a victim, but believes people taking issue with the claim the “recession is over” are attacking him.
Mr. Kneale traces his genuine distaste for anonymous online criticism to a cover story he edited at Forbes in the fall of 2007, titled “Hiding Behind the Net.” The article, by Victoria Murphy Barret, revolved around the tragic story of a teenage girl who crashes her father’s Porsche at high speeds on the highway, crushing her to death. Afterward, a mob of anonymous Web users posted police photographs of the girl’s mangled remains on various Internet sites, along with commentary mocking the carnage.
“And Google is allowing that to happen?” said Kneale. “Because, oh, well, that’s the blogosphere, they’re anonymous. You know what? How dare you? How dare you hurt people like that?”
* He could be even more obnoxious, if he wasn’t holding himself back. “I have a high obnoxious quotient. I try and reign it in.”
* He’s being produced by people who think he’s a genius. “After [the night DK called a bunch of bloggers 'digital dickweeds'], Mr. Kneale’s producer told him that his outburst was poetry, the best thing he’d done on the show.”
* None of this is for publicity. Pay no attention to the fact that most people were unaware DK was doing the nighttime thing until the hernia-inducing meltdown, when in fact he’d been in the slot since April. Mr. Kneale said his beef with anonymous bloggers was not some phony yelp for attention. “This is not an attempt by me to stand out,” said Mr. Kneale.
* This gig is still probationary. “Now they’ve kind of forgotten that it’s just a tryout,” said Kneale. “Don’t tell them. … It may not last.”
Mr. Dennis Kneale molested my collie and didn’t even say please. He has no manners whatsoever.
how are the google hits on “dennis kneale idiot” coming?
I ain’t hiding.
LOOK ME UP, DENIS! HELP ME GET A JOB WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!
Wonder when the next Townhall meeting will be at HQ.
Kneale I want my goddamned collie back. You still owe me for her vet bills, douche.
Meep, meep, meep
WTF?
The geeky visage sez “KICK ME!”;
The whiny, voice -racking use of the term “dickweed” on live TV cries “I was the wedgie king of my junior high”…
The geeky visage sez “KICK ME!”;
The whiny, voice cracking use of the term “dickweed” on live TV cries “I was the wedgie king of my junior high”…
@7/8 nice
i really, really hate this guy.
“he could be even more obnoxious”? challenge
5:1 this thread gets more posts than even the thieving banker-chick with the huge floppies from yesterday
@5 exactly.
@12 nah, that chick was loathsome and slutty. DK is just loathsome.
Off topic, but does Gasparino Twitter? Because it sounds like a magical combination.
Kudlow needs to order a Code Red on his malformed cranium.
his father wasn’t hit by the car, he threw himself in front of it after one of Dennis’ temper tantrums.
Dude looks like a muppet
Dennis Kneale sports a less that fashinsble 1″ cock. Despite his diminutive stature and his ‘road-runner’ good looks, he does put his member to good use on pets of the canine persuasion.
Just make sure you lock up your doggies whenever he’s around.
The producer’s comment that the outburst was the best thing he’s done sounds like an indictment to me.
@17 FTW!!!!
@22 yep.
I have an idea. Let’s put Dennis on the air with 8 guests simultaneously. Then we’ll put everyone on mute except Dennis and tell him to scream at everyone. It’ll be brilliant!
Dennis Kneale…blah blah father died…dickweed blah blah…Forbes Technology Editor blah blah… gayest recession call ever…YAWN
I like that he tries to garner sympathy with that story about the dead girl. fucking prick.
CNBC is on past 7 pm?
/unaware
Christ, that picture of his face is painful to my eyes.
@17… eessh, little harsh
@14, stole a 100k… could have gone ahead and gotten a nose job? THAT would have been money. Could have danced her debts off.
Dennis Kneale is infested with asslobsters.
@26 that girl’s mangled body/car wreck was more intended as a metaphor of his time on CNBC
I can’t believe I gave birth to this guy.
-Mother Kneale
@29 it’s the cumulative response to all the nonsense i’ve heard him say.
-17
Dennis Kneales down to…molest collies.
DK,
The anon bloggers may anger you, but you really have no legal standing to go after them.
So live with it.
I think that the green shoots are what one should expect after eating at CG’s house.
I tolerate Larry the K’s green shoot nonsense only b/c he worked at the Fed, worked for Moynihan and worked at the OMB; in other words he has at least some credibility.
However I cannot take seriously a journalism major who’s opus is membership in the The Independent Florida Alligator Hall of Fame.
You’d think that, as a card carrying HoF reporter, he’d take seriously his obligation to strive for responsible journalism and avoid opinionated rhetoric.
Dennis Kneale, what a complete idiot douche.
@2, that makes it 36,301.
Hats off to the Observer for another A list interview.
Dennis, was this picture taken before or after the plastic surgery?
His face and neck just kind of melt into one entity in the vicinity of the chin for normal people.
The bottom line is that Dennis plays the “stupid anonymous bloggers!” card because he has no other way to slam what he perceives as attacks on his character (they’re actually attacks on your intelligence, and your retarded, baseless claims, a la “the recession is over”).
feel free to cite this comment in tonight’s show.
If I knew that Dennis Kneale would have used my story to carry a torch for his journalistic ambitions and eventually appear on television I would have driven a little more cautiously.
-Dead Girl
anyone else think he was the poster of the previous comments he cited from DB? they were not of the usual flavor, seemed a bit Knealey
@41 fucked up but good
He has a face made for print journalism.
@42 huh? you’re saying DK planted comments calling him a dbag on dealbreaker?
@45. no, the comments he selected were not incredibly clever, little on the lame side.
-42
i continue to marvel at the irony that people who (anonymously) post on this website call other people geeky. and that includes bess. if she exists why no pictures?
Me & Dennis did A2M at neverland ranch in the early 90s.
-Michael Jackson
@47 and dennis kneale has arrived!
DK needs to be put in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds
@47 bess doesn’t “anonymously” post you dumb fuck.
@47
Bess is real. She’s from joysee. She doesn’t want any pics because of stalkers like you.
I love it. Here he is, air-punching the ““frig-tard” nobodies, and cretins” when what we’d really like to see is him live up to his mother’s credo, ‘Don’t say something if you can’t say it to somebody’s face,’”
Let’s see you say some things you’ve been wanting to say to our Charlie. Let’s see what happens when Gaspo comes jumping out of his octobox at you more furiously than a high school choir director.
Yeah, Dennis, that’s right. It’s easy to pick a fight with anonymous bloggers whom you’ll never see face of, but try doing it to someone you know exists. You’ll get your janettavakoli knocked right out of you, Buster.
@53
stop it, tears are flowing…
@47 it’s not irony you’re marveling at (nothing ironic about what you’re describing), retard. go prepare your green shoots monologue.
Janet is the name Dennis uses in drag
Dennis Kneale if you are reading, this is a college kid posting…. if you rushed for our frat we’d make you eat donkey shit for 5 days and have the freshmen beat the shit out of you for the rest of rush month, and still not let you in b/c you are a looser.
@57. Well, I’m not interested in your gay frat anyway, thank you very much! I have never once chosen to rent my friends (or had many for that matter) and would not start today. Especially from some anonymous douche who has so little intellect that he cannot even spell the word ‘loser’
Dennis
Dennis, the safety word is “papaya.” Say it on air or the beatings will continue until morale improves.
@5 – I just shat myself
He also knows nothing about finance. Did anyone notice the other night when he and three other conservatives were debating the (incredibly meek) liberal that he said:
“Do you even know what VaR is? It’s Variable Risk that these banks are taking.”
I love ironic condescension; VaR stands for Value at Risk…
@61. yeah, that was a gem!
no comment.
@57/Dennis….. I have enough intellect to know the recession isn’t over. On the flip side, I can’t take you seriously, you majored in the joke curriculum known as journalism at a joke institution called The University of Florida.
@61 are you serious? god. fucking asshole.
VaR = veiled assinine rationalization.
@65… Very serious. No one called him out on it because: A) None of the liberals they pick to be on CNBC know anything about finance (except David Min, who can rip anyone, including Kudlow, to shreds) and B) The one person who disagreed with him was outnumbered 4:1.
-61
Bang a chocollie with Dennis Kneale!
Snickers Ad Manager
@64 Listen, fucktard. First, you’re not going to ever know the recession is over until many months after the fact. So, if you’re waiting for the NBER to tell you what to think you might want to take a nap in the meantime. Secondly, I can’t take you seriously either. Maybe it’s your association with people who would make someone each shit while having underlings beat them up. At the end of the day, know this: I have a career and you’re exiting college in a cratered economy. Maybe I’ll let you suck my 1 inch dick (if this site is to be correct) to pay the bills. And you want to bash UF? Where did you go? FSU?
Dennis Kneale is German for “whale’s vagina”
@68 HILARIOUS! I’m just sad that you posted so late and not that many people will get to read that gem (and of the ones who do, I’m afraid a bunch won’t understand). Well done though…
@69/Dennis….
1. I go to one of the most prestigious schools around
2. I’ll be working for my dad’s fund, and watching Bloomberg during the day.
Wow. What a cartoonishly long forehead he has.
Either that or he’s a Low-Clops.
@72. Note: SUNY-Albany is only prestigious in Albany. To your second point, do you ever get the feeling daddy gave you the job offer in an attempt to soften the blow that you would never make in life on your own? Again, Maybe I’ll let you suck my dick if things don’t work out. You’d probably be good at that. You know, with your frat rushing days and all.
DK
That face could scare maggots off of roadkill at a mile away.
@75 looks like someone from a Wes Craven movie
He looks like the grandmother of my co-worker in that photo
“CAR PEOOOPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
- Jeff Macke falling into a bottomless pit, never to be seen or heard from again
Is this the same guy that does the cell phone commercials?
that explains his glory holing without a rubber in the meat packing district
bring it on baby, SIDA and all
The only thing obnoxious about this man is his forehead. Ahh!
http://gawker.com/5320682/how-cnbc-dennis-kneale-begged-for-blogger-bile
#61, and anyone,
Is there a YouTube clip or the like of that “VaR means Variable risk” moment?