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Warren Buffett: “First stimulus package was sort of like taking half a tablet of Viagra and having also a bunch of candy mixed in”

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First off, what? a) not even sure what that means b) not nearly dirty enough, given the high standard previously set by the Oracle of O when it comes to marrying folksy business wisdom and aberrant sex fetish. We’ll give him a pass, and assume if the interview had been conducted by Becky Quick, his shit would’ve been up to par. Secondly, would it have killed the guy to name-check See’s? Basically every interview since the 1880’s begins “reached from home while sipping on a Cherry Coke, Mr. Buffett yadda yadda yadda.” Now that times are tough, he’s too good to shill? You’re better than that, B. Next time, tell the pretty lady your favorite “Viagra and candy” recipe is half a sex pill, handful of peppermint twists (you like the cooling properties), and a dash of salted nuts, and that the company is working on a line of Pop Rocks for those times you’re looking for a novelty B to the J.

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89 Responses to “Warren Buffett: “First stimulus package was sort of like taking half a tablet of Viagra and having also a bunch of candy mixed in””

  1. guest says:

    I’d hit it

  2. guest says:

    that guy’s the man. always has been.

  3. guest says:

    How about – The first stimulus was like a reach around at summer camp after a long day of playing grab ass.

  4. guest says:

    Half of a Viagra tablet is all some men need.

  5. guest says:

    Or – The first round of stimulus was like pulling a rail off Charles Gasparino’s cock?
    -Brody McVee

  6. guest says:

    I would like to receive some Buffet stimulus.
    Porker Stansberry

  7. guest says:

    @5 that works
    -cg

  8. guest says:

    UBS Telecom 4evah

  9. guest says:

    @8 stfu with that comment which you leave on every post. and btw, WB, don’t act like you haven’t tried a mix of Viagra and a DQ Blizzard.

  10. guest says:

    Pop Rocks BJs really are the best.

  11. guest says:

    I like to crush up viagra pills and sprinkle them in the coffee pot and water cooler at the office.

  12. guest says:

    @11 which firm?

  13. NakedShort says:

    @12 which “firm” you kill me!

  14. merkin capital partners says:

    All this guy does is talk his own book.

  15. guest says:

    Only half a tablet??? Jesus!! No wonder I’ve been to the emergency room so many times!!! I thought you took a Viagra for each time you wanted to do it per night!!
    ~The Forehead Slapper

  16. guest says:

    “half a sex pill, handful of peppermint twists (you like the cooling properties), and a dash of salted nuts”
    I’m trying that tonight.

  17. guest says:

    @14…No shit!!
    ~T. Boone

  18. guest says:

    The turtleneck says “I’m a sophisticated lady” but the pants around his ankles scream “get on this.”

  19. guest says:

    @18 nice

  20. guest says:

    Elaine: “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things….”

  21. KevinB says:

    @13 – FTW!

  22. NakedShort says:

    @18 correction the turtleneck says “Im a sophisticated lady” the glasses say “with these goddamn cataracts as bad as they are I cant afford to take another errant cum shot in my eye”

  23. guest says:

    Hey!! Don’t knock the turtleneck. If you’ve ever lived in Omaha, Nebraska, you’d know it is a municipal law that, when enjoying your basement, you have to wear a white turtleneck under either (a) a Cornhusker sweatshirt or (2) a V-neck sweater. And you have to make fun of people from Iowa.

  24. guest says:

    Iowa = idiots out walking around

  25. guest says:

    @23 he’s from Nebraska, not Iowa, shit for brains.

  26. guest says:

    @22 you’re right, stand corrected

  27. guest says:

    @25 – He is an American, stupid.

  28. guest says:

    I think my secretary has a clitoris erection from the coffee viagra.

  29. guest says:

    I can’t decide if I want to fuck or eat a bunch of sugar.

  30. guest says:

    Bertha is my viagra
    -Mark Haines

  31. guest says:

    Speaking of Viagra and pants already the ankles… how many lines of blow and dead hookers have LK and CG gone thru out in Vegas?
    The turtleneck always gets the ladies to let their guards down just a touch. That and the roofies.
    – MCS

  32. guest says:

    Speaking of Viagra and pants around the ankles… how many lines of blow and dead hookers have LK and CG gone thru out in Vegas?
    The turtleneck always gets the ladies to let their guards down just a touch. That and the roofies.
    – MCS

  33. guest says:

    @25…WTF?

  34. guest says:

    God, what I wouldn’t give too tap Buffet’s sweet sweet ass.

  35. guest says:

    @4 it helps to have a stick of butter & a roll of nickels handy if you really want to do it right.

  36. guest says:

    @25. you idiot.

  37. guest says:

    Fate dealt a fat pervert a good hand.

  38. guest says:

    I don’t watch much TV.
    Who is that hot one doing the interview?

  39. EvilBuzzard says:

    This 2nd stimulus concerns me. What if the erection lasts longer than 4 hours?

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