So! We’re told that the Wall Street sequel opens with a pre-crisis Alan Greenspan quote that will attempt to make Big Al look bad, before cutting to a shot of Gordon Gekko getting out of jail (unless Oliver Stone decides he’s cool with the NC-17 rating in which case we’ll get a solid minute of an AG look-alike digging up and fucking the corpse of Ayn Rand). Which will it be? There are so many gems to choose from. We like the lesser known ones, plucked from private conversations, such as the time Greeny suggested to Ben Bernanke a few years back that he take out an adjustable rate mortgage that resets after three years on a house the Beard couldn’t otherwise afford, or confessing to Barbara Walters that the one image that made him consistently happy no matter when he thought about it was her “big tits” or the one-liner to brother from another mother, Angelo Mozilo, “This shit is about to get heavy,” but it’ll probably have to be a more well-known quip. Any ideas?
Which Of Alan Greenspan’s More Quotable Quotes Will Bite Him In The Ass On The Big Screen?
By Bess LevinComments (45)
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“I got your froth… RIGHT HERE!!!!”
The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake.
“Something Wicked This Way Comes…..”
“stick it in my ass”
The OJ of finance. He won’t stop looking until he finds the real killer of the economy.
“…always regretted not getting that gender reassignment surgery…”
I know it’s pretty, Ayn… but I didn’t take it out for air.
AG
“C’mon Andrea, you know the spot. Right between the skid mark and the Calvin Klein label.”
“Five dollar foot-long,” if that picture is anything to go by.
@8…Stop it. My boss will see me laughing.
“Normally I’d use a condom, but then I thought; when would I ever be in Bangkok again?”
@10 Just got caught with a “What’s so funny? IM.
As long as they get Yogi Berra to play him, I don’t give a shit.
@13 or Joe Paterno
“Regulate this, Ayn.”
“Hi honey, do me a favor and hide the good silverware. Bill and the Cankle Lady are coming for dinner.”
This fuckin’ movie, oh,
“I guess I should warn you, bitches, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you’ve probably misunderstood what I’ve said. Now, suck it!”
“Boy, that Andrea Mitchell feels like irrational exuberance in my dong”
I love that picture. It’s like crazy grandpa wants to give me a big old high five.
“As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.”
“Every night you come into my room
And pin me down with your strong arms
You pin me down, and I try to fight you
You come inside me
You fill me up
And I become the Night Man…”
“My name is Alan Greenspan. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 82 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don’t know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.”
Looks like that pic was cut out of an ad for Six Flag’s.
“Angelo, now put on this Babushka and cry in Russian while I…”
Any word if Barbra Walters auditioned for the part of Ms. Rand?
From Wiki:
Quincy Magoo is a wealthy, short-statured retiree who gets into a series of sticky situations as a result of his nearsightedness, or myopia, compounded by his stubborn refusal to admit the problem. Affected people (or animals) consequently tend to think that he is a lunatic, rather than just being nearsighted. In later cartoons he is also an actor, and generally a competent one except for his visual impairment.
You Want details? Fine. I drive a Buick Regal. V8. What’s up? I have a ridiculous place in co-op city. I have every spreadsheet you could possibly imagine. And best of all kids, I am incontinent.”
@27…of course he’s incontinent. This is the USA. He’s not in Iceland or Asia or some other continent. Us, Canada and Mexico make up the North American Continent. Dipshit.
~AIG Energy Trader
“More flags, more fun!”
We have a surprise winner in the bidding for the naming rights for Mandy’s knockers. The Alan Greenspan Irrational Exuberance Tunnel of Love at Amanda Drury’s Two Bags Park.
“You got a shitty job, you’re not quite as tall as me, nobody really respects you. Now me on the other hand, I got the glory, the fame, the money, the jewels, the cash, the Denali, gettin drunk on the reg, fuckin good times on the reg, yachts on the reg, sex on the reg… basically all the shit most men fantasize about”
What happened to Six Flags’ Asian- American dude who did the “More flags; more fun- Six Flags!!” mantra last year?
~Walter Sobchak
@31…you gonna pay me when you copy my shit? Think about it ….unless you played for Houston which would end the thinkin’ shit right there..
~Kenny Powers
I own you. And I own your children’s children.
Greenspam
“Home loans, home loans all about….
Mortgage brokers ran out of ink…
Investigators soon jumped upon us….
And the banks began to shrink…..”
~S. T. Coleridge
Ancient Mariner Capital Advisors, LLC
Alan Greenspan
“I have a belly button.”
Two quotes, which the movie will have to juxtapose somehow, deserve immortality.
1. From his book, “I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil.”
2. From the book tour. With whiny voice. “But that’s not what I meeeeannnnt.”
@38 excellent.
-big al
Rand used to call him “the undertaker” so I vote for Oliver Stone bringing the nuttiness (in typical fashion) via a sex with the dead scene.
“The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it”
“Housing always goes up in value over time.”
∞-¥
quant-quant
@38 – Best comment of the day.
“Paternity test DNA sample: Willard, C… 450.00″
Gold. Pure Gold.
I laughed so hard, I cried.
Timmy Roubini: My dad said you ruined the economy.
Alan Greenspan: You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not gonna like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. All right, anybody who wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, ’cause I’m not watchin’.