So! We're told that the Wall Street sequel opens with a pre-crisis Alan Greenspan quote that will attempt to make Big Al look bad, before cutting to a shot of Gordon Gekko getting out of jail (unless Oliver Stone decides he's cool with the NC-17 rating in which case we'll get a solid minute of an AG look-alike digging up and fucking the corpse of Ayn Rand). Which will it be? There are so many gems to choose from. We like the lesser known ones, plucked from private conversations, such as the time Greeny suggested to Ben Bernanke a few years back that he take out an adjustable rate mortgage that resets after three years on a house the Beard couldn't otherwise afford, or confessing to Barbara Walters that the one image that made him consistently happy no matter when he thought about it was her "big tits" or the one-liner to brother from another mother, Angelo Mozilo, "This shit is about to get heavy," but it'll probably have to be a more well-known quip. Any ideas?
Which Of Alan Greenspan's More Quotable Quotes Will Bite Him In The Ass On The Big Screen?
Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 21, 2009, 4:30pm
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Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:25PM
"I got your froth... RIGHT HERE!!!!"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:32PM
The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:34PM
"Something Wicked This Way Comes....."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:34PM
"stick it in my ass"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:35PM
The OJ of finance. He won't stop looking until he finds the real killer of the economy.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:37PM
"...always regretted not getting that gender reassignment surgery..."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:38PM
I know it's pretty, Ayn... but I didn't take it out for air.
AG
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:39PM
"C'mon Andrea, you know the spot. Right between the skid mark and the Calvin Klein label."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:39PM
"Five dollar foot-long," if that picture is anything to go by.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:40PM
@8...Stop it. My boss will see me laughing.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:41PM
"Normally I'd use a condom, but then I thought; when would I ever be in Bangkok again?"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:43PM
@10 Just got caught with a "What's so funny? IM.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Jul 21, 2009 4:45PM
As long as they get Yogi Berra to play him, I don't give a shit.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:47PM
@13 or Joe Paterno
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:48PM
"Regulate this, Ayn."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:50PM
"Hi honey, do me a favor and hide the good silverware. Bill and the Cankle Lady are coming for dinner."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:50PM
This fuckin' movie, oh,
"I guess I should warn you, bitches, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said. Now, suck it!"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:50PM
"Boy, that Andrea Mitchell feels like irrational exuberance in my dong"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:53PM
I love that picture. It's like crazy grandpa wants to give me a big old high five.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 4:56PM
"As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a gangster."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:00PM
"Every night you come into my room
And pin me down with your strong arms
You pin me down, and I try to fight you
You come inside me
You fill me up
And I become the Night Man..."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:01PM
"My name is Alan Greenspan. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 82 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:03PM
Looks like that pic was cut out of an ad for Six Flag's.
Posted by wcburrs87 , Jul 21, 2009 5:05PM
"Angelo, now put on this Babushka and cry in Russian while I..."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:05PM
Any word if Barbra Walters auditioned for the part of Ms. Rand?
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:08PM
From Wiki:
Quincy Magoo is a wealthy, short-statured retiree who gets into a series of sticky situations as a result of his nearsightedness, or myopia, compounded by his stubborn refusal to admit the problem. Affected people (or animals) consequently tend to think that he is a lunatic, rather than just being nearsighted. In later cartoons he is also an actor, and generally a competent one except for his visual impairment.
Posted by lieutenant winslow , Jul 21, 2009 5:10PM
You Want details? Fine. I drive a Buick Regal. V8. What's up? I have a ridiculous place in co-op city. I have every spreadsheet you could possibly imagine. And best of all kids, I am incontinent."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:15PM
@27...of course he's incontinent. This is the USA. He's not in Iceland or Asia or some other continent. Us, Canada and Mexico make up the North American Continent. Dipshit.
~AIG Energy Trader
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:16PM
"More flags, more fun!"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:18PM
We have a surprise winner in the bidding for the naming rights for Mandy's knockers. The Alan Greenspan Irrational Exuberance Tunnel of Love at Amanda Drury's Two Bags Park.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:24PM
"You got a shitty job, you're not quite as tall as me, nobody really respects you. Now me on the other hand, I got the glory, the fame, the money, the jewels, the cash, the Denali, gettin drunk on the reg, fuckin good times on the reg, yachts on the reg, sex on the reg... basically all the shit most men fantasize about"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:25PM
What happened to Six Flags' Asian- American dude who did the "More flags; more fun- Six Flags!!" mantra last year?
~Walter Sobchak
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:31PM
@31...you gonna pay me when you copy my shit? Think about it ....unless you played for Houston which would end the thinkin' shit right there..
~Kenny Powers
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:46PM
I own you. And I own your children's children.
Greenspam
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 5:51PM
"Home loans, home loans all about....
Mortgage brokers ran out of ink...
Investigators soon jumped upon us....
And the banks began to shrink....."
~S. T. Coleridge
Ancient Mariner Capital Advisors, LLC
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 6:03PM
Alan Greenspan
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 6:04PM
"I have a belly button."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 6:24PM
Hotel Irrationale
1939 47th Street
New York, NY 10019
Guest: Greenspan, A
Room: Suite 220
Rate : $595.00 plus app taxes
Current Charges to Room:
Install Diving Board.................... $2,200.00
200 lbs "Jello Pudding"............... 399.00
Garden Hose.............................. 12.00
Inflatable Pool............................ 18.00
Paternity test DNA sample: Willard, C... 450.00
Flying Nun Hat........................... 38.00
Book: Spreadsheets for Dummies"........ 25.00
Industrial Nosehair Clippers................. 45.00
Codpiece (2)........................................ 84.00
Ballet tights......................................... 14.00
Movie: "All That Jazz"......................... 8.00
Custom T-Shirt "Black Monday Baby!!"... 25.00
Stuffed Sock Puppet Trophy............ 48.00
Teflon Smoking Jacket......................... 199.00
Presidential Pardon: No Dissertation....... 2,500.00
Foam Finger w/"Ayn Rand #1" logo........ 18.00
Book: "Objectivism-Logical Positism's Bitch"...35.00
Waterproof writing paper........................... 9.00
Quill pen with waterproof ink..................... 12.00
Meatball Sandwich.................................... 15.00
Trash compactor...................................... 115.00
Services: Palm Shaving............................. 32.00
Damage: Removal 230' Duct Tape on Wall... 95.00
15 Boxes white wine.................................... 150.00
Book: Knife Throwing for Fun and Profit..... 22.00
Replica suit of armor and chain mail......... 950.00
Abraham Lincoln costume........................ 88.00
Book: "Managing Financial Groupies"....... 28.00
Installation of "Shakey-Bed" device.......... 450.00
$2,000 in quarters.................................. 2,000.00
Replica US space helmet.......................... 250.00
Game: "Twister" (inc delivery chg)........... 18.00
2 gal Kayro Syrup.................................... 12.00
4 sacks absorbant granuals..................... 15.00
1 can "Pam" skillet spray.......................... 8.00
Posted by NotNasser , Jul 21, 2009 7:11PM
Two quotes, which the movie will have to juxtapose somehow, deserve immortality.
1. From his book, "I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil."
2. From the book tour. With whiny voice. "But that's not what I meeeeannnnt."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 7:15PM
@38 excellent.
-big al
Posted by Joseph di Jersey City , Jul 21, 2009 7:15PM
Rand used to call him "the undertaker" so I vote for Oliver Stone bringing the nuttiness (in typical fashion) via a sex with the dead scene.
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 7:46PM
"The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it"
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 7:50PM
"Housing always goes up in value over time."
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 8:28PM
∞-¥
quant-quant
Posted by guest , Jul 21, 2009 9:05PM
@38 - Best comment of the day.
"Paternity test DNA sample: Willard, C... 450.00"
Gold. Pure Gold.
I laughed so hard, I cried.
Posted by guest , Jul 22, 2009 3:12AM
Timmy Roubini: My dad said you ruined the economy.
Alan Greenspan: You know what? I can already tell that I don't like you. And I'm probably not gonna like you no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do. All right, anybody who wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him, 'cause I'm not watchin'.