Last week, after hearing a lady named Sheryl Weinstein had written a book about being screwed by Bernie Madoff both as an investor and as one of the skanks he was banging on the side for years, we asked everyone to guesstimate what B-Boy might have going on downtown. Most of you figured he had to be packin', on account of the evidence at left. Not so, says Weinstein! The Daily News has a few of the "intimate details" included in the tome today. Notable among them: "This man was not well-endowed."
Obviously the question we're all asking ourselves is, was he "not well-endowed" relative to Weinstein? Do we have an abnormally large vagina situation on our hands? Are we going to get a completely different take from Berns via his attorney Ira Sorkin later this afternoon, saying the problem didn't lie with his small penis but rather, with Sheryl's "HUGE vagina," as Sorkin makes a wide 'V' symbol with his hands? Apparently not. Supposedly Mades was all too aware of his shortcomings, going so far as to call up Weinstein the day after their first time together to apologize. That detail sort of strikes us as a crock, and possible indication of a lady doth protest scenario but S Dubs then goes on to speak rather highly of Ponzi-B's skills. "I didn't have a problem," with the invisible D, Weinstein claims she told B. "When we made love, I was on fire." (Ed: The Daily News seems to think Weinstein was describing how hot Little B got her though she very well could've been describing her own performance.)
Also:
For months, they met for dinner and makeout sessions. Weinstein praised Madoff as a "great kisser."
And finally:
Weinstein, who is still married to her husband of 37 years, Ronald, said she told a few friends about the affair. They dubbed Madoff "Winky Dink" because he constantly blinked his eyes nervously whenever she was around.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:25AM
Twas her hand, told ya!
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:27AM
Wide-Twat !!!!!!
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 18, 2009 9:29AM
I'm confused. "When we made love, I was on fire," she said. But yet he was poorly endowed... what exactly set her on fire? Chlamydia? Gonorrhea?
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 18, 2009 9:32AM
It was probably a combination accidental coincidences.
Average or slightly below average weinis + massive Jewfro bush + "it was like fucking a bucket full of water" vajayjay = erroneous small weinis accusation.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:32AM
@ TC, Oh, shit. Ow.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:39AM
ok, she's not a reliable source. What better way to kick a man when he's down and defenseless than to see he's hung like a cold schnauser.
I say b-mad's packin
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:42AM
Beth, don't be fooled by that photo (clearly you haven't slept with much older men). It's all scrotum he's packing, not schlong. Indeed, the photo evinces what the whole world has come to know: Bernie Madoff had a ton of sack.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:43AM
Bern's cell-mate doesn't know or even care. No reach-arounds in prison.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:45AM
Tax Chick - The answer is simple, she supplemented with a between the legs Hand Bridge.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:45AM
I hope that "husband of 37 years" Ronald has been spending the last few weeks banging Eastern European prosties.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:46AM
Its like throwing a Hebrew National through a huppa.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:46AM
I just came all over my (law) briefs.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:48AM
If he were some poor Jewish shlub from Brooklyn, she'd never have touched him. But he was Bernie Madoff - billionaire investor! So she spread 'em wide. And is now making money off her betrayal of her family.
She is an even worse whore than he was.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:53AM
Does anybody want to see my huge vajayjay?
Dennis Kneale
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:54AM
@ 13, true. she is repugnant. and seriously, dedicating the book "to all the victims?" they lost money not their health or loves!!! Typical
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:54AM
Can we get a rebuttal from one of the boys in Cell Block D?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:56AM
This kosher sausage isn't going to put hot sauce on itself, lady.
Posted by registered_user , Aug 18, 2009 9:57AM
Can we get a pic of the mistress?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 9:58AM
Beth, scare up some camel-toe shots of Sheryl so we can get a since of the likelihood that Bernie was stirring paint in there.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:00AM
@3.
Residual effect from the trace cocaine on the bills he used to pad her camel wallow. Wait, that's a numbing effect, isn't it? Fuck... I am never going to make it in Finance.
No, but in all seriousness, it's really quite pleasant. Just make sure you use pre-security strip bills.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:03AM
@18. She's in the fucking photo, dumbass.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:07AM
I dont think we can rely on her judgment - she looks a little cockeyed from the photo.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:10AM
She is obviously an unstable wack job. As Ira Sorkin noted, she has the right to tell the world about her extramarital affair, but why would she?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:14AM
Twatclops?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:16AM
How would one know if one had an abnormally large va-jay-jay? I mean, with the male appendage it is exactly that - an appendage - and a ruler would suffice.
For the va-jay-jay, is it volume? Measured how?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:20AM
@22 - you said "cock" . . .
Posted by EvilBuzzard , Aug 18, 2009 10:21AM
4 wins already. That almost wasn't fun... It's no fair to totally dominate things that early.
According to the mistress I was dead on about Bernie always having the change of socks handy when he travelled.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:23AM
My mental image of them together would be of a half roll of Tums thrown down a hall way.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:23AM
@25. It's less about "size" so much as "squeezing power."
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:24AM
ShekelClops!
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:26AM
From the end of the article:
"[Weinstein] also often smoked marijuana before having sex with Madoff, a habit he said his wife, Ruth Madoff, also indulged in."
At the very least, this could be a defense that Ruthie didn't know about Ponzi, since she was high as balls all the time.
Bess- run with it.
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 18, 2009 10:26AM
@25 beef drape length and appearance are both always good "leading indicators" to vajayjay capacity issues.
However, I don't speak for all males, but usually if you give us BJs and HJs on the reg and tell us what stallions we are in the sack you're "tight as a drum". If you cheat on us or tell your friends that our appendage is anything less than the biggest and best you've ever had you're "a loose whore".
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 10:32AM
I think everyone is looking at it wrong... It's just that the balls on this guy are the size of softballs... They have to be to run a $50b scheme. It was just that his package looked disproportionately small and the aforementioned anomalies impaired "full entrance" if you will...
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 11:05AM
@13--Don't worry. Hadassah's lawsuit will take it all away
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 11:26AM
I'm glad they left that whole huge vagina plotline out of the Godfather movie. I never understood where Puzo was going with that anyway.
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Aug 18, 2009 11:39AM
@25, 29 and 32...maybe your standard of measure should be the same as in the event of a shark attack...with a bite radius?
Course, would that be how much an average biter could fit into their mouth with one bite, or how much it'd bite you? Grandpa once told me, "Be careful sonny, some cunts have teeth."
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 11:47AM
@35 it was a metaphor. A loose metaphor. An epic, Homeric metaphor. A synecdoche, if you will.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 12:20PM
BBF @ 36, do such radii come in metric or imperial varieties (as do asstons)?
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 12:56PM
These madoff posts are getting real old.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 12:58PM
@39 then don't read them, francis.
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 1:08PM
Winky Dink or Dinky Dick?
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Aug 18, 2009 1:52PM
@38, oh...let us stick to good ole inches, shall we?
"Here lies the grave of Maggie McGee,
died at the age of 103.
For 15 years she kept her virginity,
not a bad record for this vicinity."
Posted by guest , Aug 18, 2009 6:44PM
that picture is disturbing - almost as much as the topic of this article
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