Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, news that Chrysler is selling vehicles too quickly and the mobs of customers in showrooms are alarming even seasoned Chrysler sales professionals. Models of the Jeep Wranger (15/19 City/Highway MPG) are scarce, as are Town and Country Minivans (17/24 City/Highway MPG) as the Cash for Clunkers program floods the country’s highways with forward-looking, highly efficient, environmentally friendly vehicles, instead of old emitters of blue-white smoke and SUVs.
Not satisfied with the $4,500 credit from the government, Chrysler lopped on another $4,500 or so in incentives- the “double your cash” campaign- just in case, you understand. Obviously, this is all part of newly installed Chrysler Chief Executive Sergio Marchionne’s “strengthen pricing even at the expense of market share” plan announced last month.
Marchionne’s “increase production just in time to hit the twenty four month demand lull we just created” program is still in development, but is expected to be announced at the end of the summer driving season, right before the unveiling of the “repair the shattered resale value of Chrysler products” initiative. Both programs will precede the “I was totally high on painkillers when I signed those deal documents” phase.
Chrysler to Drop ‘Clunker’ Incentive [The Wall Street Journal]
Cash-For-Clunkers, Double-Your-Cash Programs Bring Chrysler To The Brink Of Sales Disaster
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If Bess were here and not taking the sun in a nude beach in St. Marteen, we would have heard about the Gasbag’s most recent opus blasting Goldman’s critics (and those include bloggers like Marla). Just saying.
Back to my cave!
Where is the forehead slapper on this one?
EP good to see you back!
EP, what are you wearing today?
“Marchionne’s ‘increase production just in time to hit the twenty four month demand lull we just created’ program is still in development, but is expected to be announced at the end of the summer driving season, right before the unveiling of the ‘repair the shattered resale value of Chrysler products’ initiative. Both programs will precede the ‘I was totally high on painkillers when I signed those deal documents’ phase.”
This is the type of stuff I miss most.
Fiat is bringing its new “ferrari-esque” lead time approach to your next minivan. Make mine Torino red please.
Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2009 11:41AM
“EP, what are you wearing today?”
7″ stilettos, pig-tails, leg-warmers, and a metal brief-case attached to my wrist, via handcuffs.
How ’bouts you, stud?
The pig-tails and leg-warmers say “I just finished up my Suzanne Somers workout tape” while the 7″ stilettos and handcuffs say “I hope Bess doesn’t mind my updating Dealbreaker from my Blackberry while in between songs at Scores”
Welcome back, EP.
EP – How do you do the pig-tails with the handcuffs? I have had to resort to the librarian inspired bun since I keep hitting myself in the face with the brief-case.
That wasn’t actually me. Clever typo-squatting though.
Noticed it after I hit “post”, no control z abilities on the internet.
I’ve been had! In retrospect, that comment seemed more than a little uncharacteristic for EP.
All I can say is that the SEC had better make good on its money back guarantee for the “Advanced Detective Techniques” course I ordered. And to think it promised I’d be a super-sleuth on completion.
EP,
UK put you on their undesirable persons list?
@HH – did you get the double secret decoder ring? You need that for any of this to make sense.
@TC – Mine arrived broken (presumably Greg assembled it).
Despite being tricked by the EP imposter’s comment, I actually enjoyed the post. American automotive companies make Paris Hilton & Britney Spears look like a brand management gurus.
HH – Agreed. When I think of the American automotive industry, wet paper bags and being lost come to mind, as does not finding one’s @ss with both hands. Such a shame.
if i say i’ll split the $4500 with the car company so that they not make a car for me to burn carbon fuels into the environment, shouldn’t the give me the money?
It’s not really good in what they did..
Todd DiRoberto
http://biz.clush.com/ToddDiRoberto