The US may need to assemble a panel for over a year to reach the main conclusions from the financial crisis, but thanks to one turn on the Citi merry-go-round, several Norwegian municipalities have already completed the job. Should the seven municipalities pull off a major upset and win their $200 million lawsuit against the now $5/share company for their investment losses, those gains would pale in comparison to some of the valuable life lessons learned over the past several years.
“The small communities who went to the market all hoped to get rich,” a chastened member of Vik’s city council, Morten Oystein Holmberg, said in an interview at his home overlooking the gentle rapids of the Vikja River bubbling toward the Sognefjord. “As politicians, now we know we are not entitled to gamble with citizens’ money. That’s my conclusion.”
But it’s not just politicians in Norway who have a new outlook on the world. The folks who were supposed to help represent the municipalities’ interests also see the world differently now.
“The only ones who made money from these investments were the issuer and the broker,” (lawyer Jon) Skjorshammer said in his sleek offices overlooking an Oslo boat slip. “And now the lawyers,” he added, chuckling softly.
This has been a great laugh alright. No doubt people couldn’t contain themselves when the elderly were sleeping in the halls in nursing homes as a result of this non-stop comedy show. Hopefully next time Citi just sends some Tickle the Vickle dolls for those craving humor.
Greg,
Your writing’s much more tight nowadays. Keep it up, and Bess might even remove the latex mask (with zipper-control function) you’ve had to wear these past few weeks.
-Mistress Celeste
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/dominatrix-lady_460x303.jpg
Why don’t you people comment in GM stories?
Hello? Anyone in here?
Greg, what are you wearing?
Dear Greg,
This is your best post ever!!! You really left those mean old Dealbreaker commentators speechless with this one.
I’m baking toll house cookies to celebrate your success. You can lick the spoon. You earned it!!!
Hugs & Kisses,
Mom
Can’t believe you didn’t make a joke about the town being called “Vik”
“You can lick the spoon. You earned it!!!”
I don’t want to think about what that’s code for.
Its a fine story, Greg. It shows again that fine bankers at Citi are once again looking out only for the best interests of their clients, and taking it global.
It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!
- Willy
Oh, Scandinavia, brave Scandinavia. It was… a laugh riot.
News Flash — dopey Norgewians duped by greasy Citigroup salesman
Where’s the story?
“a chastened member of Vik’s city council,”
At first pass, I wondered if the Citi CEO now has a city council. No worries, it’s all clear now.