King Ponz and Sir Allen may not know just how lucky they are that the US has the misfortune of calling them native sons. As Stanford fights for his right to five-star incarceration, half a world away, two other cons recently met their maker for promising returns of up to 10%/ mo. Two Chinese executives were executed for defrauding investors out of a rounding error-esque $120 million through a real estate scam. While China does top the global league table in executions, death is typically reserved for violent crimes. If we sent every $100 million scam artist to the funny looking chair,there would be a real demand for T. Boone's wind farm.
Count Your Blessings Allen Stanford
Posted by Greg Michaels, Aug 06, 2009, 9:48am
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Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 9:53AM
....zzziiiiinnnngggg
nice one greggo
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 9:57AM
FmF has been beaten to death. Who/What will save us today?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 9:58AM
I get it!! I get it!!!! Yes!! I GET IT!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 9:59AM
Curious - which is better? CFA or MBA..??
- The Savior
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:03AM
I don't get it
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:04AM
If we had punishments like that here, hedge funds would cease to exist.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:05AM
im dense. someone explain it to me.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:05AM
Blay, me say Blay, me say Blay, me say Blay
Me say Blay, me say Blay-ay-ay-o
Blanus come and me wan' go home
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:07AM
when are they going to Waterboard Bernie? That will get 'em some info they need... what? too harsh? Our criminals scoff at our "laws", "rules" and that darn Geneva Convention! To the tank with 'em all.. Bath time!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:10AM
China will shoot you in the head, charge your family for the bullet, and sell your organs on the black market. Very efficient.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:10AM
I think this post was a real leap forward. A story I hadn't heard presented with a slight attempt at humor. Baby steps Greg.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:13AM
How does one get a "Chinese Execution of Real Estate Scammers Franchise" in North Carolina.
~Laid Off and Looking to Run a Business
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:13AM
@4
Criminal Justice AA > MBA > CFA
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:13AM
@11
The picture was a nice touch too. I'm not sure but the Bell may be tolling for the Greg haters. And besides, high school will be in session soon, so many of them will no longer be able to post between 8 A.M. and 3 P.M.
-not greg, or his mom
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 10:15AM
Nicely done. Keep it up!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:17AM
@14
take it ez on the hatorade bro!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:19AM
How about this?
The Chinese people kill the managers who rip off their employees. It's a slower death than a bullet to your head, as it requires beating you up until you die. How many MDs would have been dead by now if you douchebags follow that example?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:21AM
Greg, you're growing up right before our eyes! If you keep it up I'm going to tell Bess you were a good boy when she was away. But please don't make me regret writing this post. Thanks.
-also not greg or his mom
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:25AM
My boy is all growns up, he is all growns up!!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:34AM
We are over at Clusterstock!
- Crickets
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:36AM
I don't wanna murder our criminals, but I say tease em a little on the chair, just a few zaps.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:41AM
Why is Javier Bardem on CNBC right now?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:42AM
@20
If you are a representative of the DB commentariat that left for Bess' vaction, please relay the following message to the other people over at clusterstock right now.
Stay over there. Even after bess comes back.
-also not greg and his mom.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:46AM
no one posted in DB has worked in like an hour. what do you think this is? credit risk at goldman?
get crackin
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:46AM
Greg, I am packing your bags honey, I know that nothing will be left for Bess once she gets back. You have been booked on a flight to Geneva for your safety. Your father and I will visit for some skiing this winter.
Love, Greg's Mom.
PS. I have a nice packed lunch for you so that you will not have to eat that terrible airplane food. I wil also look after your hamster while you are gone. xo...single tear.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 10:49AM
PS.
Greg, I am going to give your hamster a bath. Why does he small like butt?
Love, greg's Mom
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 06, 2009 10:50AM
@25 will Greg be headed to Gstaad shortly after his arrival in Geneva to hit the slopes with the Col. P. Tudor Jones?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:06AM
Will the "real" Greg's Mom please show up?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:17AM
CFA is useless. You waste so much time on that garbage.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Aug 06, 2009 11:19AM
Good work.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:26AM
Greggums,
I know you must be a little confused when you come home from work and find Mom in bed with 5 black guys, but please don't be. Mommy is just in a strange place right now and this just feels right. Now be a big boy and make me proud at work!
Love,
Mom
ps: Leftover KFC and mac-n-cheese in the fridge for dinner, sweetie!
pps: Don't let Letroy bully you when I am not around! Stand up to him. He will respect you more if you do that!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:33AM
@31
How's the labialplasty healing, Miss M?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:33AM
@22-
To brag about the fact he knocked up Penelope Cruz.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:34AM
Boobs would be nice about now... just saying.
- the MCS
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:37AM
What's clusterstock's URL?
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 06, 2009 11:38AM
Seems like Greg's Mom and Cartman's Mom would hit it off.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:45AM
Solid post in terms of interesting/finance related.
Greg, two glaring errors though.
1. There needs to be a comma (,) b/e $120 million and through.
2. In the last sentence there needs to be a space b/e "chair,there"
I will continue to monitor your progress.
- College Kid
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:49AM
@32 - Little sore, but Latrell has been icing it for me. Don't tell Greg, it will only upset him.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 11:58AM
We need a name for Greg's mom, how about Charlotte?
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 06, 2009 12:01PM
@39 Mercedes?
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 12:02PM
I vote for Beatrice.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:06PM
Lafonda Michaels.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:07PM
China is the new killing you....ummm...I mean it.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:08PM
@40, when I think of Mercedes I think of strippers. Beatrice is funny but I don't picture Greg's mom as a Beatrice either. I like Charlotte because it is an upper-middle class name and I could see a Charlotte sleeping with 5 black guys at a time.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:14PM
Oh, Charlotte, you so nasty. Now lick my ass!
Tyrell
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:14PM
Celia, Margot or Barbara "Babs" Michaels
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 12:16PM
@44 - Think Dante!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:32PM
"Babs" FTW
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 12:47PM
@47
tax chick what do you think of sleeping with 5 black guys at a time?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 1:03PM
@tax chick - before you jump to 5, you might want to start with one (ok, yes please).
@39 - how about eunice or sue-anne?
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 1:10PM
Cluzo - You assume I haven't already had one. Sweet, but naïve of you.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 1:17PM
@tax chick - you are new here aren't you? it has been well chronicled that I'm a black guy. the "ok" was meant for you - I was going to help you out. but thanks for playing.
Posted by HAM05 , Aug 06, 2009 1:20PM
@51 youve had 5 black dudes at once?
golf clap.
also you might have the clap.
Posted by FUNdamental , Aug 06, 2009 1:20PM
@39 - let's call her....Ashley dupre
@ cluz - maybe you missed barak's falling approval rating? You knew your window was short!
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 1:22PM
@cluzo - not new to DB and know you are a black guy. You assumed that I hadn't slept with a black guy by stating I "might want to START with one". I was politely stating: been there, done that.
It's been fun playing, but I prefer someone who can keep up.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:29PM
@45
Tyrell, I will after I lick Kwensi's.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 1:31PM
@tax chick - touche. but "been there, done that?" a little dismissive aren't we? or were you the one who was dismissed? if you want another bite at the apple, the offer stands. but I may be a little more “taxing” than your first (last/only?) experience. oh, and you’ll be the one trying to keep up…
@FUN – damn, damn, damn! not even a year on the job and he’s making worse for me…
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:41PM
Once you go black you never go back
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:41PM
hey cluzo are you one of those black dudes that have a hard time getting a hard on?
Posted by Tax Chick , Aug 06, 2009 1:43PM
@cluzo - as the subtlety of my first response had been missed, I went for the more obvious approach. No ill meant.
Offer have an expiration date?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:47PM
Anyone ever jerk off with a belt around their neck?
-CG
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:52PM
China executed the head of its FDA last year, after the melamine and glycol scandals and other assorted pay-to-look-the-other-way deals.
If they used lethal injection, there's a chance he'd still be alive today.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 1:55PM
@58 - while I would like to say you're right and perpetuate the myth, but that one just isn't so - all the rest are true ( ;
@59 - that's not a black problem. haven't you seen those cialis ads? nothing but people lacking melanin (and a hat tip to for the minorities)...
@tax - expiration date? is your bf going to get mad? don't worry, your (dirty not-so-little) secret will be safe with me. but because I'm the sporting type, I'll give you until labor day - everyone deserves a summer fling (right?)
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 1:56PM
@61 FTW!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 2:02PM
@61 Used to, but not anymore.
- D. Carradine
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 2:45PM
@Cluzo: Positive stereotypes are still stereotypes. Don't be a racist.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 2:52PM
@66 - what is this positive stereotype of which you speak? have you heard of sarcasm? perhaps you did not notice the "( ;" go pull the racist card on someone else...
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 3:10PM
Racism is so last week.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 3:17PM
@67/68: Have you heard of sarcasm without the aid of a smiley? A grown ass man doesn't use smileys. -66
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 3:21PM
Jacqueline.
Posted by William Richards , Aug 06, 2009 3:29PM
@Cluzo/@Tax Chick
Should we arrange a meet and greet?
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 3:31PM
fucking great photo on this one greg. love it. it's scary!
Posted by Investorcluzo , Aug 06, 2009 4:06PM
@bill 71 - I'm game if she is. if you don't know how to reach me, bess does.
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 4:17PM
So - is this fate better or worse than a stint in the federal pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiary?
Being a Chinese regulator is the new killing it!
Posted by guest , Aug 06, 2009 6:13PM
@61 for the fucking win!!
Posted by guest , Aug 07, 2009 5:51PM
China has the right idea,in the United States I prefer putting these misfits in a prison in ANWR,Alaska where they could chop ice 12 hours per day 7 days a week for stale bread, H2O and vitamins.For entertainment they could feed the caribou and polar bears!