You’ll know the recession is over when you actually hear the words your waitress is saying and stop thinking about what you would do to her. That is the basic premise behind the new leading economic indicator, the Hot Waitress Index, developed by Hugo Lindgren. With the recession taking its toll on the usual enclaves of aesthetically gifted females, many of them are trying to make ends meet by leveraging their looks with bars and restaurants desperate to stay in business.
A waitress at one Lower East Side club described… what happened there: “They slowly let the boys go, then the less attractive girls, and then these hot girls appeared out of nowhere. All in the hope of bringing in more business. The managers even admitted it. These hot girls that once thrived on the generosity of their friends in the scene for hookups–hosting events, marketing brands, modeling–are now hunting for work.”
So if you’re sitting at a bar or club trying to imagine your waitress with more clothes on instead of off, the green shoots are blooming.
The Latest Hotness Indicator [CNBC]
Dammit Greg, you’re lucky a picture is worth a thousand words.
Golf clap material… but just a hat tip for now.
Unemployed Banker Banging Index is better….as it combines two indices
During my year off I banged 6 hot eastern euro models chicks all under 25 v. the 1 avg./yr ann taylor drone >30 I could manage as a bulge VP…
Chicks like relaxed guys with cash & time…
I think Greg has redeemed himself today. Although he is no BL, it’s fair to say that his perceived lack of entertainment value has more to do with BL leaving him with the Denny’s-waitress-during-economic-boomtimes equivalent of sloppy second news stories than his own lack of potential.
Atta-boy!
fuck baby you rip
quote it
on on…..re re
True. I’m an incredibly handsome man/banker and now I’ve had to go back to swinging my ass at Chippendale’s. Just when I thought I was out they called me back in!!
~Incredibly Handsome Man/Banker
Great work Greg! way to go!!!!!
Great work Greg! way to go!!!!!
An “atta boy” for posting a piece that has been out since Sunday on the New York Mag site (http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/58195/)?
I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.
Women have life so easy.
Chippendale Haiku
*******************
You were a banker
You wore the company pin
Ball Hammock these days
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE BLANUS – WHY DONT YOU SIMPLY QUIT ALREADY? BETWEEN YOUR HARD-ON FOR CMBS AND RATING AGENCIES AND REGURGITATION OF POSTS WAY PAST THEIR USE-BY DATE, YOU’VE FINALLY PISSED OFF SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT THE DB COMMENTERS WEREN’T GIVING YOU A FAIR CHANCE. MORE GOSSIP, LESS REPOSTING.
P.S. Do you have any idea how painful it is to type in all caps on an iPhone? I hope you appreciate my attempt at getting your attention.
@10: What time does your shift at Brother Jimmy’s start?
@13….fuh..WTF???
~Fake Geico Caveman
You stole this post from John Carney who had it up much earlier in the day.
There once was a banker from the City.
With a prior work history of showing titty.
She said with a scoff,
“I’ll never be laid off..”
But, she’s again showing ass and being witty.
Plagiarism = OK.
Cut and paste = OK.
Reproducing verbatim whatever email you get = OK
“value addition” from you = NO.
@Tax Chick, what are you wearing?
greg, keep the hits coming. although i think some simple google searching could have yielded a hotter waitress than that, effort approved nevertheless.
Ok this one is really bad, Ive already seen it at abnormal returns…Tax Chick, wanna beer?
@11 truth
@ Greg
Do you ready anything else on a daily basis or are you just really, painfully disconnected and slow to sort-through emails?
The meta-story here is the sad state of journalism. This pathetic ‘hot waitress indicator’ was an alcohol-inspired idea fleshed out by some moronic story editor who needed an ‘economy’ story with pictures of hot chicks. Disgraceful.
There are so many more important, more fundamental issues to discuss. Like:
MCC, or Amanda Drury?
John Carney is a fag.
P. Stansberry
@19 Stilettos, a leather corsete, and a whip. Now put your ball gag back on, bitch.
@21 I’m more of a champagne girl. But thanks!
Dennis Kneale just stormed into my yoga class and shot me in the ass with a bb gun and then he molested my collie.
@27
did he tantra orgasm for 30 minutes?
@27 I knew there was something oh so wrong about that motherfucker.
i miss Bess.
@12 – Fail. Everyone knows that all DB Haiku’s must now contain the word “twat”.
then times are always booming in san francisco…