I'm posting the above spread, to be consumed in 7 hours (by 4PM CST) an analyst at an unnamed firm in Chicago not because I support it but because there is nothing else going on and I made some poor decisions last night that are making this morning a bit rough. In truth, I've grown weary of the day long endeavors to consume 5 cookies and a bag of chips. Not challenges in general, but the pussification of something that started out so right. If you're going to do snacks, you get an hour. If you're not working against time, then you should eating something disgusting, or that demonstrates marginal creativity. I'll keep you posted on this last one, but only because it's being subsidized by Ken Griffin. Moving forward, give me something good or nothing at all.
Update: "14 down, most of the heavy stuff is done, taking some time to settle and then attacking the light stuff."
Update II: 24 items done. Challenger says, "I'm going to explode. The picture really doesn't do any justice to the difficulty of this task."
Update III: Hour and 45 to go, 13 items left, 8,000 calories down. "Vision is blurry and equilibrium is off a bit."
Update IV: "Couldn't finish Oreos, popcorn, pretzels and potato skins. Overall 9,000 calories in 7 hours. But had to throw in the towel. It's worth mentioning that each item left had been opened and partially eaten."
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 21, 2009 12:11PM
the analyst is eating bernie madoff's head?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:12PM
@1 wah?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:15PM
@1, Way too small to be a challenge
-SW
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:15PM
what are these "personal challenges," BL?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:20PM
the anal_yst at un named firm is giving head
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:21PM
the anal_yst at un named firm is giving head
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:21PM
the anal_yst at unnamed firm is giving head
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:21PM
Personal issues, you say? I'm here for ya', Beth. Gimme a cawl.
CG
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:21PM
i agree with bess
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:21PM
1 hour, everything on the Mcdonald's menu.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:22PM
uh oh - bess is having personal challenges and greg isn't posying naymore, that can only mean one thing..
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:23PM
"pussification"
nice
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:23PM
If you actually were outing the 'unnamed firm' with the KG reference, couldn't they come up with much better food challenges given their fre cafeteria?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:23PM
here is a breakdown of what hes has to eat...it is 10,000 calories
Order Completed Item Calories Fat Sat. Fat Cholesterol Sodium Carb Fiber Sugar Protein
1 CupCakes 340 12 4.5 10 480 56 1 41 3
2 Cheddar Lays 210 12 1.5 0 260 22 2 1 3
3 Kettle Chips 220 11 1.5 0 160 26 1 0 3
4 Apple Danish 420 17 8 5 370 64 2 37 5
5 Cheese Danish 430 18 9 10 370 63 1 36 6
6 Choc. Pay Day 310 16 6 0 130 35 2 30 6
7 Jerky 80 2 1 35 720 3 1 2 12
8 Winterfresh (6) 60 0 0 0 0 12 0 12 0
9 Special K Bar 90 1.5 1 0 95 18 9 1
10 Pay Day 320 17 3.5 0 160 36 3 28 9
11 Snickers 280 14 5 5 140 35 1 30 4
12 Blue Pop Tarts 400 10 3 0 330 74 1 35 4
13 Twizzlers 240 1 0 0 180 55 32 2
14 Wild Cherry Candy 220 0 0 0 0 55 0 55 0
Skittles 205 2.5 2.5 0 10 56 0 47 0
Big Red (6) 60 0 0 0 0 12 0 12 0
Doublemint (6) 60 0 0 0 0 12 0 12 0
Peppermint Mints 120 0 0 0 0 24 0 24 0
Potato Skins 150 8 1 0 170 19 1 1 1
M&M 240 10 6 5 30 34 1 31 2
Oreo 240 10 3 0 250 37 2 20 2
Baked Ruffles 140 4 0.5 0 300 24 2 2 2
Jays 150 9 1.5 0 150 16 0 0 2
Twix 280 14 11 5 115 37 1 27 3
Peanut Butter granola 170 5 1.5 0 160 30 2 12 3
Fritos 320 20 3 0 320 32 3 1 3
Choc. Chip Cookies 280 13 5 5 200 38 2 18 3
Baked Doritos 170 5 1 0 310 29 2 2 3
Baby Ruth 280 14 8 0 130 39 1 33 4
Straw Pop Tarts 400 10 3.5 0 330 73 1 34 4
Vanilla Crème Cookies 300 14 3 10 160 44 1 20 4
Snack Mix 230 8 1.5 5 410 34 2 5 4
Doritos 250 13 2.5 5 310 30 2 2 4
Crunchy Cheetos 320 20 4 10 590 30 1 2 4
Jalepeno Cheetos 340 22 3 10 500 30 1 0 4
Pretzels 180 1.5 0 0 180 36 2 1 4
Peanut M&M 250 13 5 5 25 30 2 25 5
Popcorn 75 22.5 10 0 1000 47.5 7.5 0 5
Cheeze its 210 11 2.5 0 350 24 1 0 5
Peanuts 170 15 2 0 115 5 2 1 7
Sweet n salty mix 290 18 6 0 125 26 4 23 8
Reeses Pieces 500 25 15 0 187.5 57.5 2.5 52.5 12.5
Total 10000 439 146 125 9822.5 1460 61 755.5 156.5
%RDA 500% 675% 730% 42% 409% 487% 244% 313%
Calories Fat Sat. Fat Cholesterol Sodium Carb Fiber Sugar Protein
Completed Stats 3160 130.5 44 65 3215 444 15 261 56
%RDA 158% 201% 220% 22% 134% 148% 60% 112%
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:24PM
Hey Beth, if anyone if fuckin' with ya, just gimme a holla. I'll fuck 'em up, and then we can tawk.
I'm here for ya, Beth, I mean Bess. Whateva.
CG
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:24PM
WHAT ARE THE PERSONAL DIFFICULTIES???
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:25PM
definitely not NY...dude's wearing sneakers
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:26PM
"definitely not NY"
nothing gets by you. not even "at an unnamed firm in Chicago"
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:26PM
The world NEEDS a standard contract for this. Start with # of items, Calories, fat content along with a time limit with maybe slightly differing terms for US vs UK contracts. For example, the above looks like a:
7 hour, 40 item, 9000 cal, 600g fat.
Set a standard:
1hr, 10 items, 2500 cals, 30g
Then we can trade them. Fitting that this comes to a head in Chicago. The Eurodollars started small too!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:30PM
The sneakers say High-Frequency P/A but the mousepad says __________.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:30PM
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:31PM
i'll buy one of these for whoever successfully completes the mcdonalds challenge in 1 hour.
http://www.zazzle.com/cr/design/pt-embroideredshirt?clone=true&context=rich&dz=30a45668-6997-41d7-a11c-a2367a3d1869&pending=true&view=angle0
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:32PM
Personal issues are that Greg leaned over the table and tried to kiss her. Now Greg's Mom is freaking all over her (Jealousy!).
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:32PM
@22 i hope you'll also be paying for the funeral
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:33PM
What a mynx: http://twitter.com/MelissaCNBC/status/3386612175
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:33PM
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:34PM
Or greg has decided to utilize his massive cock for clubbing baby seals rather than satisfying women, much to bess' distress...
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:35PM
Chanting! Chanting! Chanting! Chanting! Chanting!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:35PM
@24 why would that kill you?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:37PM
@29 everything on the McDonald's menu in an hour? that'd probably trigger cardiac arrest in many people.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:37PM
Team america, fuck yeah!!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:39PM
@18 CIG has a NY office.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:39PM
"I made some poor decisions last night..."
Can we expect a little Charlie/Charlene Jr. in nine months?
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 21, 2009 12:39PM
One of the best challenges I have ever witnessed involved 4 Chipotle burritos (chicken, rice, black beans, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, 1/2 hot salsa, 1/2 medium corn salsa) in 45 minutes.
One of you NYC Ballers get on it.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:42PM
what a deuschebag
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:42PM
@naked that sounds so delicious
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:43PM
Can Handbridge Capital do a reverse merger between Naked News and CNBC?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:44PM
Sissy. I would have mowed that down before breakfast.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:44PM
bess, what is making this morning rough?! what god damn it, what?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:45PM
Get back to me when this punk can take down a gallon of vitamin D milk in 15 munites and keep it down for an hour. I only saw this completed once and it was by a girl!
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 21, 2009 12:46PM
@2
Original pic was (presumably accidently) of madoff's head, given bess' "bad decisions" last night, we'll let it slide
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:47PM
@34
Sounds like it'd be a terrible if colorful mess to clean up.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:49PM
Bess,
What no mention of the Wachovia maniac who ate CAT FOOD? I think that is in the same echelon as Oyster Boy. C'mon.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:49PM
Bess, hair of the dog. There's no other way.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:53PM
Can someone please explain to me the obsession with Greg's mom? Unless there is a particular reason these comments are about as witty as 5th graders trash talking on the elementary school playground.
Posted by Riskybusiness , Aug 21, 2009 12:56PM
ten dollar menu items in ten minutes....no more than two of one item.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 12:56PM
Good to have you back Bess! "Pussification" - atta girlie, keep us awake!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:03PM
@45 it began with a post from "Greg's Mom" in June,
http://dealbreaker.com/2009/06/fiat-starts-to-kick-chrysler-t.php#c12
and it went precipitously downhill from there.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:06PM
@42 You could apply that comment to @37 as well
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:11PM
Challenge:
Consume AIG's 2008 annual report in one business day. It is 352 pages, but you can print it double sided.
Posted by Bess Levin , Aug 21, 2009 1:16PM
@46 do it. and email me about it.
@43 he was definitely good, but no one tops oyster boy.
@44 happening right now.
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 21, 2009 1:21PM
Vodka Gimlets all around! Cheers!
Posted by NakedShort , Aug 21, 2009 1:24PM
Tonight in celebration of the successful launch of the Handbridge Capital Partners Apparel Line I will be consuming 1 liter of Crown Royal mixed with Coke Zero. I then will pass out in my son's playpen...again.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:26PM
Logo on mousepad reads MF Global..
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:27PM
@47 - the term "pussification" is from a famous george carlin bit on children.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:32PM
53,
Crown. You're a smart man.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:32PM
55 I miss GC now more than ever.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:34PM
@17 @18 you are in fact much more likely to see sneakers around the NYC citadel office than in chicago. they take themselves pretty seriously up there.
the real tip-off though is that doesn't look like the NYC carpet or desks, and also last I checked there was no NYC vending machine, although that could have changed recently
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:36PM
What a fag
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:36PM
What a fag
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:37PM
What a fag
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:39PM
He said hes going to drink the popcorn. Unpoped and buttered...........this will be fun to watch.
Posted by Bess Levin , Aug 21, 2009 1:42PM
@anal_yst- usually but last evening i decided to make it a long island iced tea night.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:42PM
I have a challenge for all the secretaries of the world.....
1 hr to chug every guys cock in your office and keep it down....oh boy!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:44PM
Agreed. This is garden-variety gluttony. Your average obese person knocks this back before lunch. Six and a half feet of subway sandwiches at least had novelty.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:46PM
Handbridge Capital vending machine
http://www.bettersex.com/Sex-Toys/Dildos/Dongs/sp-cyberskin-realistic-dildo-276.aspx
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:47PM
@bess63- sounds like you like to party. call me.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 1:56PM
63/bess what was greg drinking?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 2:00PM
@68 cosmos
Posted by gatzzb , Aug 21, 2009 2:02PM
enough of the solo challenge stuff - we need food challenge races... this the next level.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 2:10PM
@58 There's no Chicago vending machine either, everything's free. It does look like a Chicago desk through...the sneakers suggests it's either GE Execution or GMQS.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 2:30PM
the desks in chicago have a light grey edge, not a dark black one
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 2:48PM
@45 = Greg's mom
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 3:34PM
This dude is a Wuss = Wimp + Pussy.
7 fucking hours to eat that...pace yourself haus and you'll be fine. No more eating challenges that involve time limits longer than 2 hours...its farcical otherwise.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 3:57PM
As said previously, there are no vending machines at Citadel Chicago. Everything is free from sushi to Gatorade.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 3:59PM
I hear everyone calls him lady pants
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 21, 2009 4:37PM
@Naked
Epic week for you, go f*cking wild, you've earned it.
Then tell stories.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 4:52PM
that is weak sauce DK...i knew the popcorn was going to be the deal breaker
Posted by trojan , Aug 21, 2009 4:58PM
having bet on my fair share of eat-offs, i have to say the hurt going on during the eating pales in comparison to the beached whales and floaters that mark the end of a snack's journey. A vending machine holds several hundred Kourics worth of junk food.
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 5:54PM
CIG doesn't offer candy and half chip varieties shown, although they might all be available in the wallgreens downstairs. Today would have been a sundae contest
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 6:14PM
Does he have to eat the gum?
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 9:53PM
I hope this guy kills himself for being a loser and a pussy!
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 10:53PM
Spin-Waldock!!
Suite 1400-A
Posted by guest , Aug 21, 2009 10:54PM
Spin-Waldock!!
Suite 1400-A
Posted by guest , Aug 22, 2009 2:52PM
Man vs Food on the Travel Channel (I think). Those are some serious challenges!
Posted by guest , Aug 22, 2009 5:05PM
@46..........too easy, did it for brekkie today after a golf/drinking fest yesterday.
Posted by guest , Aug 22, 2009 6:16PM
Those are, actually, the new-look of Trojan condom packages.
The Trojan condoms and gel come in different flavors now such as BBQ,Nacho Cheeze, choco,spicey, baked salty and no salt,strawberry,etc.
As to erogenous zone it depends on how your partner want it done, kettle cooked or baked.