That’s right, ladies, Nails hath taken us for a ride. Earlier today we noted that LD, in a fit of genius, had ripped the toilets out and pissed on the walls of his Sherwood mansion in an attempt to get an insurance company to hand over $10 million or whatever they’ve got in their wallets, since he has no money. He also demanded that they give him a place to stay in the meantime, as he’s been living like a hobo, claiming that he spent the night on Sunday in the lobby of the Westwood Hotel. And when he did that, he lied to us. Because I have time on my hands, and none of you are making any news happen, I called up the front desk to get a little more color on the matter, and find out what LD looks like when he’s sleeping (soundly, like (someone with the mind of a) child without a care in the world, or violently, like someone whose dreams are haunted by Jim Cramer?). I was transferred to a fellow who was on duty that night and he told me that LD was full of shit. “He definitely didn’t stay here. Security never would’ve allowed that….though he might’ve been spotted loitering for a few hours before being asked to leave.” Sounds about right, and also like a total crock. It’s pretty incredible to think that we can’t trust the guy, at this stage in the game. Despite this upset, we’re willing to overlook things, if LD promises to take us up on the offer to write a weekly column on private planes (and tell us what he did with the missing toilets). Finally, if any one has some leads on where he actually was Sunday, let us know. A meth lab? On the set of a new porno called “Sonic And Nails“? Wherever one would go to pawn off Jon Kruk’s testicle? He needs to be held accountable.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
I need that picture blown up and put over my mantle.
-sc
lenny dykstra, charlie gasparino, steve cohen: a wet dream, by bess levin
what a cocksucker
Lenny may have surpassed Dutch Dalton as the worst liar on the ’93 Phillies World Series team.
At least Dalton’s claim of his ex-wife receiving a black eye as a result of her misunderstanding of metaphysics couldn’t be proven false with a phone call.
You can trust me, Beth. I mean Bess. I’m here for ya.
-CG
Bess,
Nice to see you doing some of your own investigative reporting in addition to the snark injection you give all your posts.
LB
Rose
Even with his best effort to pose for a photo he still looks like a sweaty drunk.
@7 wtf does that mean
Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams let him crash at his trailer…til that asshole Gary Carter came and pushed it over.
“Wherever one would go to pawn off Jon Kruk’s testicle?”
wow
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/24/AR2009082402333_pf.html
I give Lenny less than two months before going into rehab…anyone want the over?
“Wherever one would go to pawn off Jon Kruk’s testicle?”
too soon.
-lance
@9
^^^ this.
joe kruk’s testicle is not pleased!
I am stunned that there is no new user with the “John Kruk’s Testicle” handle.
Actually, according to my source, Nails and Jim Cramer we reenacting the famous Luke vs. Vader light saber battle from The Empire Strikes Back, complete with sound effects.
However, seeing as how money is tight for Nails, instead of using officially licensed light sabers they used their boners.
@naked
So you’re saying Nails can afford Viagra (cialis, etc) but not a fake plastic light saber?
@anal
Does one really need Viagra to “get up” for a boner to boner battle for intergalactic supremacy?
Bess, if I convert to Judaism and get you drunk on vodka gimlets, will you make love to me?
holy shit joe kruks testicle? is nothing sacred to you bess?
People, people! It’s chapter 11 not 7! Reorganization!
~ LD
He looks sooo regal.
@22 – fuck off, spammer.
holy shit joe kruks testicle? is nothing sacred to you bess?
God bless @14 for the win!!!
~A Guy Who Knows “Funny” When He Reads It
@22
70-50
-LD
Former spammer at 22 has been removed; no disrespect to the current holder of that slot, or to Kruk’s nut.
@25
Why is the pointer finger of his right hand missing in the image?
Any PS expert out there? We need some lighting from below to add pizazz to the nails’ pic. Then some Dracula tunes.
That pic is nowhere near recent. He looks as much like that now as Michael Jackson does in his Thriller days.
I’d give my left nut to have two testicles again…
~L. Armstrong
The pointer finger is not missing. There are two fingers on the mantle, and two fingers not on the mantle. What you’re seeing is the webbing between his thumb and forefinger which, by means of some strange optical illusion, sort of looks like an appendage.
@13 I’ll take that action. I always take the over.
Tim Donaghy